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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm at my wits' end.<br><br>
How, how, HOW do I explain to my very persistent two-year old (26 months) that he can fall asleep without nursing and stay asleep without my assistance? We have been trying for six weeks -- ever since I found out I was pregnant, a pregnancy I have since lost -- and I can't go on. I'm physicially exhausted. I've been sick -- minor ailments, but ones that should be gone by now -- for weeks on end. I work full time as well, and I'm just not coping anymore. He has to learn how to sleep; or, at the very least; to let me sleep.<br><br>
He loves his "nursing", as he calls it. He goes down to sleep around 9 (I've tried earlier; it doesn't work) and by 4, but sometimes by 2, he's standing at my side of the bed rubbing his eyes and demanding that I nurse him because he's tired and wants to sleep. Most of the time I put him in our bed, and some rare nights he is content to snuggle beside me, which I don't mind at all.<br><br>
We've talked over and over about the difference between day and night, and how nursing needs to sleep at night, just like him. We've drawn pictures. We've play acted going to sleep and he recites all the steps: "brush teeth! Story! Hugs and Kisses! Head on bed! Eyes closed. Quiet feet....mommy pat back? Ok, sleep now!" I've been sure to give him extra hugs and affection and attention during the day, and all of this is well and good until 2 a.m. when he's screaming "mommy give me nursing now!" and crying almost every night for two or three hours. Then the pawing, tweaking and grabbing starts. He hits me. Pulls my hair. Kicks me. Finally I give in because it's time to get up anyhow. He falls asleep and then has to be dragged out of bed, miserable, because he's so tired.<br><br>
This is having an effect on all of us. He needs more sleep than he's getting. I definitely can't keep this up. I haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep at night in years, it would seem. DH will distract him by taking him out of our room to rock him back to sleep, but I don't think that's a solution either, and it doesn't usually work if he's really upset. We also have another DS whose needs are getting short shrift.<br><br>
I'm at a loss. I know he's expressing an extremely strong need for my attention, but he needs to let me help him find another way. I'm not entirely ready to wean him but I feel as if I have to go cold turkey, which seems so unfair.<br><br>
Any suggestions? I'm so lost.
 

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I've just spent tha tpast 4 months slowly night weaning our (now) 24 month old DD. here a link to an article that I found invaluable to night weaning- it deal with co-sleeping but it works just as well when they're in their own bed!<br><br><a href="http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp" target="_blank">http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp</a><br><br>
Hope it works out for you<br><br>
....and I'm sorry about your loss- I've had 4 m/c's my self so I understand the emotional exhaustion- as well as the physical!!<br><br>
Dani
 

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If you sleep together all night does he sleep better? If all he has to do is roll over and snuggle with you and stay half asleep would that help? Instead of full waking him and you up maybe sleeping together for a while would help.<br><br>
I sometimes find that if I just give in for 2 or 3 weeks, nurse every time, don't mention weaning or stopping, just show him that you are there for him. Then after a couple of weeks I can again work on nursing less and sometimes it works. It seems that when you get stuck in one of these power struggles just lessening the intensity for a while can help you get over the bump.<br><br>
Its also very common for two year olds to nurse at least once or twice a night, I know in our society where it seems like everyones 6 week old sleeps all night it can feel like a failure when your own 2 yo wakes at night, but it is very common.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the replies. We've co-slept at least part of the night since he was born; I've never put any restrictions on him coming into our bed, but if he starts off there, he wakes every time I shift. Unfortunately, he also associates sleeping with me with all-night access, and he rarely just snuggles and falls back asleep after he's half-woken. He wants to nurse, and if he's too tired to get himself latched on fast enough, I hear about it. I really wouldn't mind if he just wanted to crawl in beside me at night.<br><br>
Anyway, as it always happens, after I wrote my note we had a great night last night. He fell asleep in his own bed and woke at 5, came in and crawled in beside me and went to sleep for an hour, and then woke and asked to nurse. We nursed for an hour and a half....I can't complain too much about that.
 
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