[HannahsMomma]

I hope it's okay to post this here. I'm having a really hard time with dd lately. I want to keep nursing her but the nights are becomming really hard. I am so tired all the time. She's two and she's never slept through the night which I know is normal for some. I'm just really tired of nursing 3,4,5 times a night ! We cosleep too so maybe that has something to do with her waking so often. I want to keep cosleeping. I know dd would never get any sleep if she had to sleep apart from dh and I. I've been having issues with depression for some time now and I know that doesn't help matters. I'm sorry for rambling. I just don't know where to turn for advice. I know if I ask any of my friends or doctor they'll just tell me to put her in her own room and that will be the end of it but that's so cruel. Does anyone have advice ?
TIA
B

 

[Caryliz]

We cosleep, too, and my bf'ing DS is about 2 months older than your DD. I finally nightweaned a few months ago when the sleep deprivation darn near killed me -- and it was successful! My DS had never slept through the night, either, until that point -- and worse, for me, was that he had moved from nursing and then popping off on his own to go back to sleep, to wanting to hang on with the nipple in his mouth while he slept (and I mostly didn't).

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First, having DH's support was critical because there was a lot of fussing and thrashing and wailing in the family bed and at times it was enough to make me want to give up. That's the downside. But the positive side was that it took only 3 - 4 nights at most.

I didn't actually go into this with a plan. I just blurted out one night through a fog of exhaustion, "Honey the breasts are sleeping right now. Come have a snuggle with Mama instead." This didn't go over well but I persevered and after complaining vocally and physically for about 5 minutes DS snuggled into my side, I tucked my arm around him, and he dropped off to sleep. We went through this 3 - 4 times the first couple of nights -- mirroring the times he had been waking up to nurse.

The second night I got wise and wore a not-nursing-friendly nightgown, so DS couldn't just reach in and grab the breast, which also made it easier to refuse (because I spent less time wresting his little fingers off my sore nipple.) I was also careful not to use the word "no" because I didn't want him to think I was saying "no nursing at all" -- I just emphasized that the breasts needed to sleep and would be available again in the morning. And I learned to respond IMMEDIATELY when he started to stir and reach for the breast. I'd put my arm around his middle and say "come and snuggle with mama", pull him close and murmur in his ear or sing some bedtime songs.

Now the only time he wakes up at night is if I climb into bed late after not having been home all day -- like after being on a business trip, or at a conference, or just out with DH while DS stayed with a sitter. I don't refuse his nursing requests at these times, and it's worked out fine -- no setbacks because of these exceptions.

I know you can do it, mama, and I guarantee you -- despite your fears now -- that everything will work out!

to you!!

 

[HannahsMomma]

Thanks for the reply Caryliz. We will be starting nightweaning soon. We just put a futon mattress in our room next to our bed for Hannah to sleep in. I'll start the night by nursing her to sleep and then daddy will be there for the night comforting when she wakes. We'll see how it goes !

 

[2boyzmama]

I share your pain!!!

I night weaned DS when he was 18 months old, and I was 5 months pregnant. One night when I had to literally detach him from my nipple so I could go throw up, I decided then and there that I couldn't do it anymore. So, here's how we did it:

I bought the book "Good Night Moon" and read it to him, over and over and over. We started discussing how everything in the world sleeps: mommy, daddy, our dog, our cat, the flowers, the birds, the sun, and the moon. I also told him that num nums need to sleep too. (we did this over several days, not all at once) I told him that num nums sleep when the sun sleeps, so if the moon is out, he can't have num nums. If the sun is out, num nums are all his!

Surprisingly this worked pretty well! It wasn't automatic, there were still nights where I would sit in the glider holding him while he cried and begged for num nums. But I would gently remind him that the sun was sleeping, and so were num nums. I would even carry him over to the bedroom window to look out and see the moon but no sun.

It's also a good idea to wear a shirt, a bra, and nursing pads. Less smell, harder access...no reason to tease her by having your breasts right there where she can see and smell them!!

Make sure to make up for it with lots of extra nursings during the day whenever possible.

Oh yeah, place DH in between you and DD if you think the physical distance will help.

Good luck! You can do it, and you'll be a happier better mommy for it.

Mama to Ian (3-17-05) and Connor (3-3-07)

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