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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Most importantly we have a healthy beautiful baby boy.<br><br>
Little bit of background -<br>
I always wanted a homebirth and I got it! My dd is 2 yo born in the tub at a birthing center 45 mins away. Labor lasted 15 hours in all and I only pushed for 17 mins. She was born 10.6 pounds. Surpassed my dreams and was the most wonderful peaceful natural birth.<br><br>
With this labor -<br>
I looked into homebirths but couldn't come up with the $2,800 (insurance wouldn't cover it). So I opted to recreate our great time at the birthing center.<br><br>
Labor -<br>
I had been 3.5 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced for over a week. The night ds was born I slept through two contractions, woke from a strong one at 4AM, woke dh, baby basically fell out of my body <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> at 4:48AM. It was amazing and fast and magical. My dd woke up, came in just as dh put the baby on my lap and we had an amazing moment together before the EMT got there.<br><br>
Once we got to the hospital - it was a 24-hour nightmare.<br>
They brought us to the labor & delivery where I delivered my placenta. They didn't tell me if my placenta was healthy or not. I was told that my baby had to go to the NICU for 4 hours because he was big (9.15 lbs), his blood sugar levels were low, and because he was born outside of the hospital. I tried to keep calm and explain that I didn’t want to be separated from baby or for him to go to NICU at all. I wanted him to stay with me. They said this was their policy. I called my midwife and she said it was B.S. and not to let go of my baby and to refuse care if I had to. I told them I did not want to be separated from my baby. I said (upon recommendation from my midwife) that I’d sign an AMA (refusal of treatment form). We were bullied, threatened, and rushed by the L&D nurse and NICU doctor. They left the room, came back and suddenly their policy changed and they told us the baby could stay with me in my room if we went to NICU to have his vitals checked.<br><br>
We did this. While in my room – about to be discharged – the nurse there said he looked DUSKY. I didn’t see what she was talking about. She said if it happened again we’d have to do a test. I asked, “can’t we unswaddle him and get his blood going a bit?” I also asked that she wait for my husband to come back. She quickly walked out of the room and said, “I’m calling the NICU doctor and telling him you’re refusing treatment.” She said this as she was walking out and before I could respond.<br><br>
When she walked back in I said very calmly, “I just want to be clear – I’m not refusing anything – I just want to ask some questions.” She did the test without explaining the amount of time it needed to be administered.<br><br>
The NICU doctor came in and told us we had to stay over night for observation. I begged and pleaded to observe him for several hours but not overnight. He refused.<br><br>
We went home as soon as we could the next AM.<br><br>
I want to write a letter to the hospital but my mind is still full of cobwebs from lack of sleep. Ds is now 4 mo but we still haven’t found our sleep grove yet. If anyone has any advice re how to write the letter – please help! Thank you!
 

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What you got is pretty standard, I think. It's unfortunate. Couples need to think very carefully after an accidental UC about whether calling the paramedics or even driving themselves to the hospital is a good idea. I assume nothing was wrong with your baby and everything was fine? You might try walking through the experience in short paragraphs, explaining where you were treated disrespectfully and by whom (great if you have names!). I'd conclude with a paragraph about the fact that birth is not an emergency or a medical procedure.
 

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First of congratulations on a beautiful and peace-filled homebirth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I'm sorry events took such a negative turn for you. Boundary disrespecting, lying, manipulative abuse does not encourage bonding with a newborn. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
As you write your hospital letter, why do you want to write it... what do you hope to accomplish? Do you think it will help you process the experience? Are you hoping administrators will agree with your view of your treatment, so you will feel justified in your indignation and affirmed in your worthiness of respectful treatment? Are you seeking an apology from administrators? Do you want disciplinary measures taken against staff? Do you want administrators to write a memo about the patients bill of rights and respectful treatment? Do you want them to implement a new policy to prevent such treatment in the future? Knowing your goal focuses your writing.<br><br>
I recommend moms transporting after a birth be firm w/ the ambulance or ER folks (whichever comes first) that the mom is the patient, not the baby, and the baby is a visitor who will not leave the mother or father's care. The EMTs taking the baby as a patient is what gave the hospital staff the degree of control and power over you they had. It's an easy mistake to make as, IME, EMTs are far more respectful of personal autonomy and less likely to disregard informed consent than hospital staff. Mentally they just don't seem so invested in some turf war of personal indispensability and status as many hospital nurses and docs. I'm sorry you got sucked up in it.<br><br>
~BV
 

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I'm so sorry for your experience! Good for you for writing a letter. Hospital policy is one thing. The way you were treated had nothing to do with that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
OT, but we'd love to have you on the UC roll call in the sticky section of this forum. If you'll like to have your birth on it, PM me the month/date and link to story if you have it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I think that in this sue-happy environment, they were probably trying to cover their rear ends legally. I do think that they could have handled it a LOT better, though.<br><br>
May I ask why you wnt to the hospital? Is there something illegal about homebirths where you live? I am not really familiar with that, so I am asking out of genuine curiosity.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you ladies so much. I appreciate your imput. I will take it all into consideration when writing the letter.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TinkerBelle</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8220986"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">May I ask why you wnt to the hospital? Is there something illegal about homebirths where you live? I am not really familiar with that, so I am asking out of genuine curiosity.</div>
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We went to the hospital to deliver the placenta I guess. I didn't pursue a homebirth (even though that's what I wanted) because our insurance didn't cover it. So I pursued the birthing center which is 45 mins away.<br><br>
I do wish the BC had prepared me for this a bit more and given me some tips before this happened. When I mentioned this to one of the midwifes she said it's not something they cover with everyone cuz they've only had a case every two years.<br><br>
I would have been find delivering the placenta at home with dh and then driving the 45 mins to get checked by my BC but they didn't say this at the time and I didn't think of it. I had just woken up 48 mins earlier and all. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Hopefully, by telling your experience, you can encourage other women to be more aware and educated on what to do if you have a birth at home, what positions to use, delivering the placenta, etc etc.<br><br>
I began researching this when I realized I had a good chance of not making it to the birth center in time, since its over an hour away- and I knew I'd want to labor at home to make sure it wasn't false alarm.<br><br>
All that research led me to pursue an unassisted birth. Im really excited, and cannot WAIT! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> (around 15 weeks left.. hopefully less.)
 

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I am a big proponent of encouraging all women to prepare for an unassisted birth, if only for situations like this! In my mind, it's part of the basic emergency preparedness that we all should know (not that birth is an emergency, but you know what I mean...) LOL.<br><br>
I am sorry you had such a stressful situation at the hospital.
 
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