[jgale]

I am just about ready to nightwean our 12-month old co-sleeping, nursing every hour boy. Anyone have any suggestions or stories about how they did it? I've been thinking about just going cold turkey with him, sleeping with a bra on and trying to get him back to sleep with patting, singing cuddling etc.

I have the No Cry Sleep Solution but we already do almost everything in the book: have a routine, regular day time naps, etc. My boy will often go not nursing during the day or first thing at night, but in the middle of the night, nothing will do but boob.

Thanks for any suggestions. Jessi

 

[Jaimep]

Hi jessi,
you may not get very many responses to this because most mom's on this board either don't nightwean or do it much much later.
We tried at 12 months to nightwean my dd, or at least get her to nurse LESS OFTEN at night. We too were every hour, every two hours if we were lucky. It was starting to work with not too much protest and we moved, so it all went out the window.
Then we tried again around 15 months and it was much harder this time to console her without nursing but we were making progress. She would sleep for 5 hours and then get up a couple more times, but DH could rock her and sing to her and such. THEN she got the chicken pox. So now we are at almost 17 months and it is getting worse instead of better. Last night she cried and fussed and would ALMOST go back to sleep and then cry, etc. for about an hour. Finally I said ENOUGH! This can not be healthy, good for her etc. SO I came back into bed and nursed her.

Some things I should say is that at no time did we ever CIO. My dh always rocked her, sang to her, walk around the house, pat her, feed her a snack, drink of water, whatever was needed. It did get a little better when I started sleeping in the spare room, so the boob was not right there.

I don't mind some nursing at night but I was really suffering from not sleeping, and the physical drain of the nursing. I am continuing to lose weight. I think I am around 100 lbs. now. SO I have some really issues of concern.

My DH and I were talking this morning and he said She is MAD at night when she cries, not sad. But I disagree. SOmetimes she is mad, but I also think she is sad too. Or maybe i am sad about her crying. He did say she is trying to put herself back to sleep sometimes and sometimes she will accept his snuggling in lieu of nursing.

A couple things I might suggest you try to do before the nightweaning is this. Start with the going to bed time and nurse him a little but take him to bed awake, drowsy and pat him to sleep, instead of nursing to sleep. I don't know if you do this already. We don't and I think it is a problem. So I think we are going to start doing this.

Also Dr. Jay Gordon has a good sleep/weaning plan on his site. We have kind of tried to use it some.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/ap/sleep.htm

HOpe you find something that works for your family.

 

[jgale]

Thanks for the link to the article and for your story. I have been really torn about what to do about the night time nursing. At first I felt that I really didn't want to limit him at all, but lately I've been thinking more about how different toddlers are than babies, and that boundary setting is so important. At the same time, I've been really tired during the day and resentful at night, so I'm feeling like something should change.

I LOVE Jay Gordon. I was visiting friends in LA last spring and Diego got sick and my friend took us to her pediatrician--who was Dr. Gordon. I was so excited, I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. I could hardly even get it together to tell him what was wrong with the baby!

 

[Eman'smom]

Don't feel bad about night weaning, I know most don't around here, but some of us (like me) have a lower threshold for lack of sleep and we need our rest too, I can't be good mommy during the day if I'm up all night.

We nightweaned ds at 15 months (and are planning on most likely nightweaning dd after the holidays) we did it cold turkey, we tried lots of other things with no success. Dh took over nights, dh would do anything a dh can do (everything but nurse), he'd rock sing pat rub whatever just no nursing, it really went better than we hoped. I'm hoping it will work this time around too.

 

[newmainer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jgale I LOVE Jay Gordon. I was visiting friends in LA last spring and Diego got sick and my friend took us to her pediatrician--who was Dr. Gordon. I was so excited, I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. I could hardly even get it together to tell him what was wrong with the baby!

:LOL

we are working toward nightweaning too. i alternate between really being ready and wanting to, and then loving cuddling up to dd in the night and nursing (well, on the nights that i only do it 2 or 3 times). i am not so much exhausted right now as I am thinking about the future and knowing that there is time ahead when I will need her to be nightweaned (getting pregnant again, i'm going to go away for 2 nights in June). We're kind of doing a couple of other things that might ease us into the Gordon plan, which we'll do when we're ready to full commit.

 

[kyliew]

I have just successfully nightweaned my 17 month old. I couldn't stand the 6+ feeds per night that she wanted and in the end went cold turkey. (I also have a 3 year old that wakes at least once per night)

I kept a bottle of water beside the bed and only offered her that and she took it. I just kept her beside me and patted/cuddled and refused milk until 6am. I then got up and fed her on the couch. It's been 8 nights now, and the last 2 she has slept through the night. I feel like a new person! By the 3rd night, she stopped asking for milk when she woke up.

Just wanted to add that we also had food issues and weight issues and she now eats food! At her last check up had gained the most amount of weight she ever has.

 

[MommyDOK]

This is what we did----although we didn't do it until dd was a little older. At 15 months, I started in bed with dd and dh. I nursed her at her first wake up (around 1am), then I left and slept in another room. Dh helped her fall back to sleep. If she "really" fussed (we never let her get to a cry), I came back in to nurse her, but she got used to him and it worked out fine. Just getting 5 hours of straight sleep was a big help. I nursed her as much as she wanted during the day. To me, it's important to not make any abrupt changes.
I think I got this idea from Dr. Sears attachment parenting book.

I know how you feel. I was so exhausted from the night feedings----like 6 a night. Hang on!!

 

[DaryLLL]

Just keep in mind different weaning techniques will work for different babies (in my mind a 12-18 mo is still a baby).

Some children are more easy going and will wean more readily. My 1st dd was extremely verbal at an early age and we could talk thing sover. My other 2 kids are highly spirited, sensitive and strong-willed and night-weaning was impossible til they were good and ready.

Also keep in mind that this age, 12-18 mos, is prime time for cutting teeth-- molars, and that can really hurt! Nursing soothes the pain. Try Hylands Teething tablets if you think this is the issue. If that doesn't work, some moms use baby ibuprofen (Motrin).

Another issue that can cause frequent nightwaking in a toddler this age is diet. Dairy is the most common allergen. Either lots of dairy in your diet, getting passed through into your milk, or dairy that the baby/drinking is eating herself. Other triggers can be wheat, corn, eggs and nuts.

All that said, having your sleep disturbed can really make you insane. Allow yourself the time to rest and/or nap as often as possible, when baby does. Every day if you need it.

 

[Alison]

We haven't really night-weaned (DS is 20 mos), but we did try to extend the non-nursing window during the night. I had been playing around with the idea for ages, but then DS had to have a minor surgery, so that meant nothing but clear liquids after midnight. I thought it was going to be awful--DS pretty much nursed or comfort nursed non-stop through the night. But I think because his communication skills are pretty good, we managed without too much hassle. He understood that boobies were asleep and that it was time for night night. I don't know that he would have at 12 mos, but he certainly did at 19 mos. So we extended that after the surgery. He would wake, and I would say no milk til morning, it's sleeping. Eventually, he would sleep from about 11-5. That was enough for me. Having said that, he's been sick the last couple of nights, and we've been backsliding.

That probably doesn't help any, since my DS was so much older than yours. The NCSS is a wonderful book, but I didn't have the willpower to stick it out with DS, to be honest, when he was younger.

Good luck!

Alison