Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,391 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I was out in public and my 10 month old got hungry. I tried to nurse him but he kept popping on and off. We were at one of those marine parks with the jumping dolphins and such so he was very distracted. I tried to find a secluded place to nurse him but just as I sat down and got him latched on two moms walked by with one pushing a cart that made a ton of noise. My baby popped off and milk sprayed everywhere while I tried to cover up and catch everything. Then I noticed that one of the moms was carrying a baby with a bottle in his mouth. At that moment, bfing looked extremely difficult and bottle feeding looked too damn easy. How can I convince new moms that bf is easier if they are subjected to scenes like that day after day? Even I felt hassled and I'm a big pro-bf anti-ff person.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,388 Posts
It isn't always easier to do the right thing. In any circumstance, not just parenting. Sometimes it is scary to do what's right, but you certainly feel better afterwards rather than dealing with guilt and shame.<br><br>
Think about it: if you find a wallet full off $100 bills, it sure is tempting to just keep it and use the money to pay bills. But you don't do that even though it is the path of least resistance. You make an effort to find the owner.<br><br>
And so it goes with parenting. Sometimes it WOULD be easier to just have some bottles around so you could go shopping in peace, or to leave the baby in another room and close the door so you don't hear them scream. But it isn't right to do those things, just easier.<br><br>
Our rewards come later, in knowing that we did our job to the fullest, and tried to make our children's lives the absolute best they could be. People who want easy, who want quick fixes, they'll have to pay for those choices eventually.<br><br>
I'm sorry you had such a frustrating day with NIP. Sometimes it's like that. Honestly, I think if they're really hungry they'll nurse. If they're easily distractable, then they can wait. I had to deal with that when I was working and trying to nurse my dd on my dinner breaks. This was from 10-13 months old for her. Somettimes she just didn't nurse, she was too excited. So she had to wait.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
218 Posts
I agree with the pp in that it's not always easy to do what's right. I know personally, I've had several experiences with nursing my dd where she's pulled off to look around. The thing that I try to do during this time is to keep a positive attitude and laugh at her a little. This way, even if the ff moms do see me struggling to keep it discreet, at least they will also see how much I'm enjoying my child. Perhaps they'll catch a glimpse of the bond that is forged from breastfeeding and will think twice before shoving the bottle in their next child's mouth.<br><br>
I also agree that if your dc keeps pulling off, then perhaps making him wait a little is just the thing. I know that when my dd is truly hungry, she will nurse.<br><br>
Lots of luck to you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,126 Posts
Well I never was a biker chick as in the show us your-------,but I do find it odd how society has made the act of nip some kind of dangerous exhibitionism.So for the sake of my restless babe sometimesI'm sure I've flashed many a stranger <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"> If nip was the norm and not bottles it wouldn't be an issue,bad parenting and bottle feeding would!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,347 Posts
I always try to catch myself from promoting breastfeeding as being "easier" than FF even though I think it is. I may mention it among many other health benefits, but never emphasize too much. To me that's a dangerous approach to the issue. I wouldn't care if it were way way harder - it's so much better for babies, it's worth it! I don't admire people who take the road of least resistance in areas where there's a real difference so I try to not make it sound like that's a reason to bf KWIM? However, I HATE it when formula moms try to ram their "it's so much easier" crap down my throat - that's when I pump my "oh, I disagree - I think breastfeeding is so much easier - I can't imagine having to make a bottle in the middle of the night!" and then I go into, "but it's not about easy anyways, it's about what's best for babies." I only bring that up if I'm getting cornered by a ff mom who wants me to make her feel better about her choices by making me admit there's really no reason for me to be breastfeeding. I usually cave in and end it with a nice "I'm ok, you're ok" kind of statement, but feel a little sick to my stomach. I don't want to insult other moms and there are legitimate reasons to FF, but not the moms I've talked to!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
622 Posts
Well, I still think it is easier. COnsider this...let's assume you had a bottle of formula...was a microwave handy to heat it up? What if it spilled in your bag and you had nothing and a hungry baby? What if you were there for several hours and went through 4 bottles...where would you store all these empty bottles, and what if you ran out of powder? What if it got too hot or too cold? Oh, and don't forget to wash those bottles when you get home! KWIM? I hear ya mama-there is a time period where the baby is so interested in their environment, but do not worry, it passes. DS is 16 months. If he is really hungry, he will nurse and stay on the boob. There was a time when he would not though! And, maybe gauge the situation. The way I felt about it was if he was pulling off a bunch, he was not really that hungry and could be distracted a bit until he was really ready and focused. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,391 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Such good points, everyone. I was thinking of how the whole situation might look to a prospective bfer on the outside looking in. I was certainly not thinking that I didn't want to be bf. She'd see me sitting at the show with my fussy, squirmy baby who was practically pulling my shirt off trying to get to his milk, me struggling to get him to concentrate on nursing and then seeing a bottle fed mom and baby go strolling by like they don't have a care in the world.<br><br>
I really don't care so much if I flash anyone (I've caught many men trying to get a glimpse LOL) but I have a bit of a problem with milk spraying and I don't like it when milk gets all over my clothes and my baby's clothes. I guess I don't feel like a very good example of a breastfeeding mom and baby because of that sort of thing. Whenever I'm with my friends and Ethan nurses and my shirt gets wet because I've leaked on the unnursed side they ask why that happens and if it happens to everyone like they would be mortified. I tell them it does not happen to most people and I'm just a freak...LOL<br><br>
Becky, I especially like what you said about not emphasizing that bf is easier, but rather emphasizing that it's better for baby. It's so true that taking care of your children the best that you can is more often than not not the easier thing to do.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top