[spacedog]

We live in Wisconsin and its deffinitly coat time here. My daughter who just turned 2 used to love her coat. Now I can't get her to wear it, especially when I pick her up from daycare. In the morning its okay cuz I tell her we arn't leaving until she puts on her coat, its still a fight but she at least ends up putting it on happily. But when I pick her up at the end of the day.... "no coat mamma.... " and she will lay on the floor.. .kick and scream... and throw a big fuss... A few days I left without her wearing it because I was in a hurry and its not worth the battle for her to put on the coat for 30 seconds till we get home. ( we live like 3 blocks from the daycare. ) But the past 2 days it has been way too cold not to have her put it on... and she refuses... I try sitting down and talking to her for awhile... asking if she wants to put her coat on or her hat first.... NO! NO NO... .<br>
So after sitting there for 15 min while other parents come and go... I end up basically forcing her to put it on... while she screams.... and we go home where she continues to scream... and then it turns into a fit about something else... she wants oatmeal.... she wants cookies.... she wants.... whatever... and I think I might loose my mind. I try asking for her help with supper.. asking if she wants to color... talking to her... she is deffinitly 2! LOL<br>
How can I get her to wear her coat? I was thinking maybe if I had 2 coats for her to choose from?? I just keep thinking about how awful the daycare teacher probably thinks I am ...most kids don't leave kicking and screaming.... hmmm...<br>
Any thoughts....<br>
I'd really appreciate them..<br>
Thanks!<br>
Andrea

 

[Yooper]

I live in the U.P. of MI and we have simialr weather to you. I do not force dd to wear a coat. I let her decide. She will not get frostbite between the building and car (on most days anyway). She always wants her coat now. But at 2 we went through a few days of her not wanting it and I let her go without. Just be willing to put it on outside if she changes her mind.

 

[Redifer]

Same as what Yooper said. We live in Buffalo, NY, where it gets coollldddd. When dd went through the "no coat" stage, we just let it ride. They won't get hypothermia in a few seconds, and pretty soon, they realize they want their coat.

 

[MissSJ]

My son at times doesn't want to wear a coat either and he will be two on Sun. To be honest, I don't blame him especially when it comes to wearing a coat in a car which both my husband and I don't do because it is far too uncomfortable and it gets too hot if your heat is on. If your car is warm maybe you can tell her she can take her coat off when she gets in the car? Maybe you can bring a small blanket to wrap around her as you carry her out to the car? Also, having two coats is a good idea - we have two and my ds loves to choose which coat he gets to wear or take with him. Good luck, we are in CO so I understand that sometimes it is too cold to go without a coat even for the short trip out to the car!<br><br>
SJ

 

[robin4kids]

First off, hi I live in Buffalo too! Now, I run an in home daycare and I used to work outside the home, so I know what you are going through. I think you should not fight with her about the coat. Is it going to kill her to not have it on? i would say No. What I would do is say now it is time to put on our coat. If she says No, than respond, "Well it is very cold outside, mommy wants you to be warm." If she still says no than say, "Ok, but you may be cold and could get sick." Than just take her hand and walk her out to the car. Yes, she may not care about being cold, but eventually she will. As we all know the temperature will be going down quick. She is old enough to express herself and soon enough will say she is cold. If this still does not work than wait for a few months and then try insisting she put it on. She may be more mature and not fight about it.<br>
The funny thing is, once summer comes, you will probably have a hard time convincing her she does not need the coat.<br><br>
I said you were missing the bigger picture. What that is, is she is tired. It is the end of the day and she has not seen you all day. Everything is always a fight at the end of the day and unfortunately working moms have to understand this. As a caregiver I just don't understand, why parents think that they are going to take their child out to dinner or to a store, right after they pick their child up? Kids just want to go home and cuddle with you. As a mom who used to work, I can tell you making dinner was the worst. My two kids would be screaming at my feet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: Just keep in mind that they are tired and also have had a bussy day. Fix the quickest meal possible and cuddle.

 

[Dar]

Yup. Bring the coat with you, don't force it. Let her learn to listen to her own body. It was 19 degrees outside here yesterday and there was a guy wearing shorts and a t shirt...<br><br>
dar

 

[mamaduck]

LOL. I don't force it either. Though its not as cold here. Still though -- even on bitter days, I just carry and wait.<br><br>
I'll never forget one day with my youngest when he was 2 or maybe 3ish -- we were 2 steps out the door and I hear a quavery little voice going, <i>"I tink I chand-ed my mind. Tan I still det a toat on, peas?"</i>

 

[mom22girls]

I hear you. I have a warm child - the one that really doesn't care about the coat - and almost happily will go out in any weather (as long as we're doing something she wants) with minimal clothing.<br><br>
Picking up on something Robin4Kids said, what if when you went in to pick her up. You take a deep breath, give her a calm hug, maybe see something she did during the day and then say, "oooh, Mommy's soo cold, it's cold out, can I hold your coat while you put it on." I know from picking up my dd, it's such a madhouse with parents picking up kids, snowsuits and jackets being rushed on, me in a rush to pick up other dd, etc and that she's tired and wants your attention. Just a thought. Other than that, let her stay cold.<br><br>
I'm just seeing a parallel to this and my fights in the mornings. Sometimes it's so rush-rush-rush my kids seem to be more defiant than if I take the time to do morning cuddles and not rush so much...<br><br>
-H

 

[LynnS6]

I have found through experience that if I bring the coat with me and dd gets cold, then she will willingly put it on. But SHE has to feel cold before she's willing. Then it's a 2 second issue to slip it on. Sometimes all it takes is walking out the door. Sometimes it takes longer. So, I carry a coat a lot of places.<br><br>
She HATES being hot (she's like my dh in that respect), and I've got to learn to let go.

 

[HollyBearsMom]

I don't force the coat issue. Car seats are a lot less effective w/ big bulky winter coats. It is a PIA to get him all bundled up, walk to the car, take off the coat and then buckle him in. We keep a cozy blanket in the car instead. At home I start the car before we leave so it is warm wehn we head out. But for places where that is not possible the blanket makes a big difference.

 

[irinam]

Can I throw a little variable in the mix?<br><br>
My DD seems (according to my own mighty diagnosis, LOL) to be a highly sensitive child. The coats were "too scratchy" or "too puffy" or "too heavy" (and I am not talking warm coats - we are in Northern, but California!)<br><br>
It took me a while to find one that she will wear. Could it be that your DD is similar to mine and hates the *feeling* of the coat?

 

[georgia]

If you do a search within the GD forum with the search term "jacket," there have been several good threads recently about this very topic <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Lots of differing POVs on the subject!

 

[spacedog]

Wow! Thanks for all the great replies! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I didn't want to force the coat issue, but I just felt like the daycare teachers would think... what kind of mom doesn't have her kid wear a coat in the winter. But your right... she won't freeze from the daycare to the car.... and then to the house. I have asked her is she doesn't like her coat anymore... she's said... Yes.. tight... so maybe it is too puffy or something....<br>
And its really not worth the struggle.<br>
Thanks again!

 

[Diane B]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>spacedog</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6667377"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I didn't want to force the coat issue, but I just felt like the daycare teachers would think... what kind of mom doesn't have her kid wear a coat in the winter.</div>
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Uh...the mom of a two year old? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
We also don't force the coat issue (and yes, it's COLD here in Minnesota in the winter...) but one thing that I've found helpful is the "flip trick"; basically you hold out the coat upside down and the kid puts his/her arms in and flips the coat over his/her shoulders. For some reason, my daughter loves doing this - if I say, "let's do the flip trick!" she almost always will do it, vs. "Let's put on your coat!"<br><br>
Good luck -

 

[mamaduck]

After 10 years, I STILL fight the impulse to parent out of fear of what other people will think of me. But we just cannot succumb to that. First of all, its not fair to our kids when we act out of fear of embarassment. Second of all, we'll never win if we take that route. There will always be someone who dissaproves of something we do, no matter how hard we try.

 

[StephandOwen]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>irinam</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6666646"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Can I throw a little variable in the mix?<br><br>
My DD seems (according to my own mighty diagnosis, LOL) to be a highly sensitive child. The coats were "too scratchy" or "too puffy" or "too heavy" (and I am not talking warm coats - we are in Northern, but California!)<br><br>
It took me a while to find one that she will wear. Could it be that your DD is similar to mine and hates the *feeling* of the coat?</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> This is my ds, though he's not verbal enough (at 3- he has autism and possibly SID) to tell me WHY he won't wear a certain coat. Finding a winter coat he would wear was not easy. A lot of them he would look at and refuse to even try on (I never buy a coat or shoes for him unless he tries them on... if he won't try them on then there is no way he'll wear them once we're home). He finally found one he likes and wears it with no problem now. I did finally realize that all the coats he "approves" and wears are red and black. The only shoes he will wear have Elmo on them. Did I mention he hates change <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Now I'm on a search for winter boots for him (with Elmo, of course, because everything else I've tried to get him to try on are met with a firm "NO" and kicking of the feet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: ).

 

[Redifer]

Just thought I'd mention, too, I'm a "warm" person. I'm always hot. I rarely ever wear a coat, go outside in -5 degree weather in a tshirt. My dd seems to be doing the same thing, now that I think about the "no coat" thing more deeply. She is always warm, always strips her clothes off, etc... same as me.<br><br><br>
And don't worry about the daycare workers.. they understand! They've just spent the whole day with a ROOMFUL of kids that age! 2 year olds are 2 year olds... they want things the way they want them, and sometimes if you're in a hurry to get up, get out and go home, it just isn't worth the fight over the coat... so I wouldnt worry about what they think!

 

[peacelovingmama]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamaduck</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6668187"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">After 10 years, I STILL fight the impulse to parent out of fear of what other people will think of me. But we just cannot succumb to that. First of all, its not fair to our kids when we act out of fear of embarassment. Second of all, we'll never win if we take that route. There will always be someone who dissaproves of something we do, no matter how hard we try.</div>
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I agree and still struggle with that impulse too. Lately, Sorin wants to wear his sandals to school (and it's pretty chilly here too). We talked about the weather and he still wanted to wear them. So I brought warmer shoes for his cubby and asked him to tell his teacher if his feet got cold and he wanted to change his shoes.<br><br>
But I have to admit that I still felt kind of sheepish walking in on a chilly day with a child wearing sandals! We also went through this issue when he was learning to put his shoes on and often put them on the wrong feet. I'd ask if he was comfortable that way or if he wanted me to change them. He always said "I like it like this." So I let it go but always kind of wondered if other people thought I was weird for letting my child walk around with his shoes on the wrong feet! In the end, Sorin has never had frostbite and he's learned (almost) to put his shoes on the right feet. So I think it was worth the fear of judgment to let him figure things out himself and respect his own bodily comfort.

 

[angela&avery]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>robin4kids</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6666125"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What I would do is say now it is time to put on our coat. If she says No, than respond, "Well it is very cold outside, mommy wants you to be warm." If she still says no than say, "Ok, but you may be cold and could get sick." Than just take her hand and walk her out to the car.</div>
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This is what we do minus the getting sick part. My dd is 3 and doesnt fight me anymore on this one, but she likes to be oppositional.. As a rule I dont get into it with her if it doesnt really matter, and i have found out she is a HOT kid. We live in New England and it gets pretty cold here, but she runs hot and I have learned to just trust her and bring along what she might need. There have been a few times she hasnt wanted a coat, and I said ok, and we went out to the car and then she wanted it because it was, in fact freezing.

 

[belquinn]

thanks for this thread, mamas. i hadnt realized i was fighting with my DD about her jacket. it never really escalated but having read this i realized, she can decide for herself. she understands if she's freezing and she knows the jacket will warm her so surely if she wants it she will ask.<br><br>
also we live in socal! i'm talking 50 the coldest and i'm requiring a jacket. can anyone say RELAX, MAMA. thanks ladies for reminding me to let this one go and smile at her when she said no jacket mama. it's a chance for me to encourage her independence and decision making<br><br>
in appreciation<br>
mackenzie