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Hi everyone,

I am asking this question somewhat prematurly as my daughter is only 2 months old. My dh is opposed to co-sleeping past a point. He doesn't really have an age limit, but basically when none of are sleeping well he will want her to sleep in her own bed (possibly with her brother, if that appears to be a good option). My ds is 5.5 now. Is their age difference big enough that they shouldn't sleep in the same bed? I'm not sure what the reccomendations are for children co-sleeping.

Anyway, I am ok with moving her to her own bed at some point as long as there are no tears. I keep hearing about the NCSS. At what age does this method get used? Is it a book I should invest in anytime soon?

My husband is a very gentle father so I really don't want to push the co-sleeping too far past a point that he is comfortable with, but I won't let dd CIO either.
 

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I wouldn't put an older son in that position. There was an article in the Washington Post recently about sibling sexual contact being more common than people would think. Particularly cases when an older brother has some curiosity and the younger sister is right there. It's hard to define what is consensual and what is coercive. I have only a son now, but if I have a daughter one day I would have them sleep separately. JMO.

The NCSS can be used anytime from birth onward. It has separate suggestions for newborns than for slightly older babies (4-6 months or older, I think).
 

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I agree with the post above. But also, I wanted to add, if dh has never co-slept with a child before, there may be a possibility that it's never uncomfortable or that the time never comes when you will not sleep well. We co-slept with dd until she was 3 and never had an issue with sleeping well or not and now with ds (4 months today!) dd is happily sleeping in her own little bed...

I have not read the NCSS book, but If cosleeping is really something you cannot do and you could not convince dh, then I would go for it if it does not involve any crying at all..

good luck!
 

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I'm reading it now (baby due in about 6 weeks).

We had a wonderful co-sleeping situation with our first son. Our second son was with us until a few months ago (he still comes in often). He was a rotten sleeper, no two ways about it. He never slept well with us or without us. He would not sleep at night, he would not nap.

I'm hoping this one goes more smoothly, but I also wanted some no cry tricks up my sleeve if I see the same pattern that developed with ds#2. Particularly for naps. With two other kids I will need this little one to nap somewhere besides my arms or in the car (ds#2 wouldn't even accept the sling... I sat for months holding him while he slept and got very depressed as well).

I would suggest reading it (since new mommies tend to have limited time for reading it may take you awhile) and also having your dh read it. Then, IF the time comes that you want to employ some of her techniques you will both be coming from a similar place of understanding the method.
 

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I used it after my dd was six months old and it worked for us--but in a round-about way. I was so desparate that I did a modified CIO (I was with her the whole time, sleeping in a bed next to her) and then we bought the book and used the advice. What worked for us the most was the white noise machine, not nursing to sleep every night, changing who put her down more frequently and the cue words. It took about two months from start to finish, and we were DONE with her in our bed, but it did work. I'm going to start the techniques earlier with new babe because I realized I was enabling bad sleep habits.

For the record, we move babe to her own bed as soon as they can crawl (bed/crib). I've found that that makes for a good transition.

Jesse
 
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