No friends?

1019 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by onthemove, Jun 17, 2005

littleteapot

Discussion Starter · Jun 14, 2005

DD is about to celebrate her second birthday, and it'll only be DH and I and her goddessmother. We're new to town, and it's not our kinda town, very hard to meet people... we go to a playgroup once a week and DD loves it, but I feel like she's getting zero social interaction. I'm pregnant right now and feeling like this baby will be her only playmate! I'm the only one of my friends who has children!

She's really great around other kids, despite this. She's very spirited and independant and is very affectionate with other children. She takes it real well when kids are shoving around and throwing things, too. She doesn't seem at all bothered, whereas other children (and parents) always seem to freak out.

Anyway... is anyone else in this situation?
We're moving away from here in a year or so, to an area I'm more familiar with and I hope it's better there. At that point DD will be 2.5, maybe even close to 3.

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stiles' mummy

· #2 · Jun 14, 2005

Hello little teapot! when is your dd turning 2?? Mine just turned 2 today (June 14th). I'm sure your dd will be celebrating with her favourite people in her life anyway (you, dh and her goddessmum

) At this age there is no hurt feelings or saddness because they don't have a "playmate" to spend a birthday with. My little guy has some little friends that he sees far and few between. He spends most of his time socializing with us big folk!

The fact that your dd is great and social around other kids is Wonderful! So she enjoys them when she's around them, but does not necessarily need them on a day-to-day basis. I hope the situation will be better in your new area next year. I'm sure it will be.

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KyleAnn

· #3 · Jun 15, 2005

We're in that boat as well.....dh's job took us to where we are now last October. Our closest family is 6 hours away and I'm not the type to just go out and meet new people. My dh did go to college around here, so a lot of his good college friends are still around and married now. Only two of them have kids though, and their babies are 4 months and two weeks old.
We were here for Colins first birthday and I wanted so badly to have a party for him...it was us...and all of dh's old friends.

He still had fun.

Despite never really being around other children, the times we are he is great with them, very outgoing & also very affectionate (the boy will hug or kiss anyone!), a real extrovert!
He is and will be our only child, so I get a lot of crap about him being lonely, having no one, etc., from family, which is only worse because of our living situation now....we do what we can, try to get out more now that it's nice out. He is definitely not suffering though-he knows exactly how to socialize, loves people & kids of all ages, he is not shy at all!
I take solice in knowing that this isn't a permanent living situation, and it sounds like you have that too, I think that helps a lot.

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jstar

· #4 · Jun 15, 2005

i agree that your dd won't feel bummed and will have a happy celebration

and it is hard to invest too much when you know you'll be moving. but i would still try to find another playgroup or 2 to make your time there more fun. (i'm sure you're having fun now). but just for social opportunities for your DD....if she seems to enjoy it. and maybe you'll make some friends you like to get you through the next few months/year.

try the FYT forum on here. or craigslist or something.

i don't think they have very strong social attachments at that age. its more for the parents. i know my ds does like to play with the same kids in his class more than a few of the others. but it isn't the same yet as really having an attachment to a 'friend' (my ds is only 1 though).

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littleteapot

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 15, 2005

She turns two in the first week of August. Thanks you guys.

FYT is kind of a bummer. Personal reasons, but I can't do that anymore.
LLL was a bad idea, too. (And I was a leader applicant. The experience was so bad I've since dropped out of the applicant program because I don't want to have anything to do with it here in this town. My sponser has agreed to keep my files until I relocate.)

I always feel like it's going to somehow damage her not to be around kids more often. I suppose that's just mainstream brainwashing

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mermommy

· #6 · Jun 15, 2005

sorry things have been rough for you ( LLL, etc) My DD just turned 2 on June 11th we spent the weekend in VT with my family ( my mother is recovering from a double mastectomy and really wanted to see DD but couldn't ride down. ) While DD plays with other kids when we see them we do not have close contact or constant play groups with others in our area. None of DH's or my friends have kids and the other times I attempted to forge out and meet moms I ended up burned. She had a blast for her bday she played on the lawn with my mom and step dad, got to see her aunt and uncle and played with the dog. She got one book and one toy as gifts and she's doing great - no missing out because other kids weren't there.

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Pookietooth

· #7 · Jun 16, 2005

My two year old has no friends, either, and neither do I, in this area (we just moved here in October), so for his 2nd birthday it was just the three of us, me, dh, and ds. We just tried to make a little party for him anyway, just like it was normal. He doesn't really like other people, anyway, so I think it was for the best.

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AdoptChina

· #8 · Jun 16, 2005

DS will be 2 on the 20th and its just going to be me, DH and our kids for his party. He doesn't have other 2 yr olds to play with (I've met some but due to certain issues we've chosen not to play with them) but does have siblings....but just realize that YOU are the best playmate for your DD (you won't fight with her over toys, you won't bonk her on the head , etc lol).....she'll be happy to have you and DH celebrating with her and she isn't going to miss having others there (she isn't aware like older kids can be...she's still young).

ETA I could arrange a party with a bunch of other young kids but honestly I think it would be overwhelming to DS...I just want to keep it simple and quiet and just focus on him and not the chaos of a bunch of little toddlers running around lol.....at many of the parties I have been to I have seen the birthday child all upset b/c its too overwhelming---the party ends up being more for the parents than the kids sometimes

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Moya

· #9 · Jun 16, 2005

We used to be party central but our parenting decisions have alienated us. Which is peculiar because I accept my friends decisions to raise their kids how they choose. We lost two friends who said we were freaks because dd still bf's (not yet two years old!). And one time I mentioned at a party that we were considering homeschooling. We got made fun of for that. We can't talk about vaccinations either because we did some hard choosing there. It's weird but I'd trade 10 of my collge friends for one person who parented similarly (or at least had an open mind). Because our friends are drifting away, our dd gets less and less social interaction because she used to play with their kids. We're in the process of fishing for playgroups of like-minded individuals. If that doesn't work out we'll just have to have ten or eleven more kids.

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onthemove

· #10 · Jun 17, 2005

hey littleteapot,

wanted to just say hello and sad to hear things aren't great for you but I think you are doing a wonderful thing, once a week at her age is probably all she needs for social interaction. the first few years are really setting the foundation for who these children become and they are so easily influenced by other kids and it isn't always a great thing.

my kids basically have each other and they are super social, need to run all over the playground introducing themselves kind of kids and they had very little time with other children mostly because we really didn't know any and the ones we did were so busy becoming "superkids" they were hardly around.
(well until preschool)

We will be around end of July, beginning of August if you want to get together...

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