[MommyHawk]

Ok, so I'm about to send out the invites for DD's birthday party. I would love to put "no gifts please" on the invites like I did once or twice for my DS's years ago, but people still brought tons of gifts...most of which we returned or gave away...

so this year, I'm wondering if a) it's impolite to tell people to NOT get your child anything, and b) whether or not I can imply that we simply don't want plastic (crappy) toys....

Before I have used the phrase: "no presents necessary...your presence is a present enough

", but I don't think anyone 'got it'...

so how can I say it on the invite? or is this a no, no, not nice thing to do?

My kids have WAAAAY toooo maaaaany toooys! I don't want any more...THEY don't want any more...I'm trying to teach them that less IS more, that we can choose wisely what we have in our house (plastic, junkie toys that break, verses really nice things and a few of them)...but that train of thought is not the way most everyone else thinks...so our birthday parties end up looking more like Christmas morning than a little kid's party (we have TONS of family that we can't not invite)...

a little glimpse?
Easter was a few weeks ago, right? My DH and I did our own little egg hunt and basket thing...and then an Aunt (bless her, but...) proceeded to give them over 3 bags of candy each, 100 plastic eggs to find, a huge plastic basket full of crappy junkie plastic toys and MORE candy!... for crying out loud...they are 5yo and 2yo!!!

: how much candy (her kids are obese) do kids need?!?!

anyway, any help/insight is much appreciated...thanks

 

[lovbeingamommy]

I know what you're going through...believe me. I've been dealing with it for over three years. The grandparents have gotten a little better through education about such things like the toxicity of plastic and the unneccesary use of sugar and its harmful affect. I don't have any real advice though since I'm definitely perceived as the overprotective parent most of the time. I feel so bad saying this, but mostly if I don't want my DS to have a particular food or item I generally try to return it/exchange it or

throw it out.

I'm sure plenty of mamas have dealt wit this issue and will come along shortly with good ideas

. I'll be keeping a look out too for any tips. Goodness knows I need it. Good luck with the b-day party.

 

[PatchChild]

Can you pick a theme of something you'd like to receive? What about a request for books? Or art supplies? Or help putting together a wooden train collection (name the brand)?

 

[mamadelbosque]

Instead of "no presents neccasary" - which to me sounds like its OK either way - I'd write "no gifts please". I'd just be really upfront and to the point about it. Does your DD have a college fund? What we've written on DS' invitations in the past is "no gifts please, if you really feel you must get him something, a donation to his college fund would be wonderful!", and gotten a LOT of donations that way and built it up pretty easily (though its down now thanks to the economy... grumble).

 

[elisheva]

For ds1's second birthday we used the phrase: "Your presence is the only present we require. Please don't bring gifts."

Everybody respected this (except one mom who showed up with a gift - I didn't know what to do) and had their kids make cards for ds instead - what fun he had looking at the drawings and carrying them around for a few days!

A friend of mine had a "Toonie" party (the two-dollar coin in Canada is called a Toonie) for her daughter's 2nd b-day - people were asked to bring a Toonie instead of a gift for donating to the local animal shelter.

HTH

 

[ellairiesmom]

I was thinking ahead while reading this to DD 2nd birthday coming up in September because I realize I have become a little 'controlling' when it comes to the kinds of toys I want her to have. I prefer the nicer wooden european toys & would much rather have fewer of them, than lots of crappy plastic things from Toys R Us that are Made in China. I do like some of the Leap Frog educational toys but that's about it.

She really liked playing on a friends riding toy recently and while they were only $30, I had already bought some nice wooden puzzles for her Easter basket that I felt would entertain her more in the long run. I asked one of my cousins if she by chance had any riding toys left from any of her kids & it turned out, not only did she have an adorable horse that Little Tikes hasn't made in 20 years, it was also something her Mom gave her kids (my aunt) who has since passed away. She brought it on Easter & we were all so happy to have it get passed around because of the sentimentality.

I think when her 2nd bday comes up in the fall, I may try to put a note that reads "Ella really needs books & 18-24 month clothing". And then tell the people who don't mind being asked (closest friends, my mom & sis in law) about the Plan Toys eco friendly doll house we might be into for her by that time. They could help her collect the furniture & people for the rooms. We did that at Christmas for her wooden kitchen we got her & they all got her wooden food & the wooden accessories to go with it.

I think no matter what we ask or prefer, there will be folks who either don't feel right showing up without a gift or will still chose to buy plastic toys because they don't get it or agree or whatever. In the grand scheme of things, I am thankful for their presence in her life & can always donate their items to a local organization that has very little.

Although I will always wonder how many Disney Princess plastic strollers are needed in the world...

 

[To-Fu]

I think "No gifts please" is the best way to go, although MDCers (in my experience) tend to think it's impolite to dictate others' gifting practices.

 

[Snuzzmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elisheva Everybody respected this (except one mom who showed up with a gift - I didn't know what to do) HTH

This happened to us, too. We said no gifts, she showed up with one, then actually CHIDED me telling me that 2-year-olds should receive gifts for their birthdays.

Um, he did. From his parents. And, BTW, DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

 

[MommyHawk]

I wanted to add that my MIL is battling breast cancer and out of respect to her and the numerous others we know that have just been diagnosed, are in remission, or have recently passed away, I'd like to have a toxin free party - including gifts...would that be to morose to put in a 3yo's b-day invite?

 

[SparklingGemini]

What if you something like:

"Because we have been blessed by such generous family and friends in the past, our son wants for nothing. and therefore gifts are not needed. If you would like to bring a gift, please bring something suitable for donating to those unfortunate children whose needs and wants are greater than ours. "

 

[MommyHawk]

SHUT UP!!!

Plan Toy Eco Doll House

This is soooo awesome!!! I will definatley be putting this on the invite as to what she is saving her monies towards!!! Perfect! Perfect! Perfect!

and people can get dolls and furniture to go into it so that is so great! phew!

 

[MommyHawk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by To-Fu I think "No gifts please" is the best way to go, although MDCers (in my experience) tend to think it's impolite to dictate others' gifting practices.

I know...I know...but...but...

I'm just going to do it. I can't deal with anymore plastic crap. I'm done. And she does want a doll house (so does 5yo DS) soooo...how about this:

"No gifts are necessary, however if you'd like to contribute to DD's new doll house, she'd be very appreciative!"

or something more eloquent...

 

[meemee]

from what you write - its mostly family right?!!!

here's the problem i see with the doll house. incovenience for people - esp with getting online. or even an inconvenient gift store.

why not say no gifts please however if you want to make a donation to honour gma gson would like to donate to such and such cancer society. or list where they will get the dollhosue stuff. or how about bringing a food dish for the party.

as much as we dont like our kids getting stuff like that, most people are too conditioned to not bring toys. esp. family. and the rule has always been the most for your money. the biggest the better. so in a way i can understand why we all get so much plastic crap. and why it is so hard for some NOT to buy something. its going to take some years to change that around.

 

[bostop]

I think it is best to be short and simple - "No gifts please". If you receive things that you don't want I think the response is "thank-you" and then donate them if you don't want to keep them. I have found that most people respect the request.

 

[RoundAbout]

I am usually a stickler for etiquette, but in the case of a 2 year-old I think "no gifts please" is totally appropriate. We too are battling too much stuff, and children that age can become so easily overwhelmed. I agree with the prvious poster though to keep it short and simple - I would probably not put mention of alternate gifts (dollhouse, college fund, etc) on the invitiation but simply put out the information through word of mouth if people ask.

 

[erynw]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MommyHawk "No gifts are necessary, however if you'd like to contribute to DD's new doll house, she'd be very appreciative!"

Careful...you might end up with a bunch of plastic doll house crap from the dollar store.

 

[jitterBug mom]

I think "no gifts please" is what I would do in your situation. I really don't like the idea of being more proscriptive than that - I personally take offense when what I should or shouldn't give is spelled out for me directly. I would also donate any unwanted items to a shelter or something.

Part of the way I deal with this is by having birthdays be just private family occasions.

 

[momasana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jitterBug mom I think "no gifts please" is what I would do in your situation. I really don't like the idea of being more proscriptive than that - I personally take offense when what I should or shouldn't give is spelled out for me directly. I would also donate any unwanted items to a shelter or something. Part of the way I deal with this is by having birthdays be just private family occasions.

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