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What is the best response when a 3yo says this? Sometimes, it's in response to a request, that probably sounds to ds as more of a demand. (ex: my grandma is here, and she just said to ds "how about you go to the potty" he said, quite adamantly "No, I won't." Obviously, the response was "ok")<br>
And sometimes in situations where there is really not an option. Like the other day in the grocery store, he wanted some Thomas Trains (that they conveniently place RIGHT by the cash registers). I empathized, explained, gave him his wish in fantasy, tried to find other fun things for him to do, insisted, and eventually told him that I would just wait there until he was ready to put it back. He said "I won't!" (and he didn't. I could see it really wasn't going anywhere, and I ended up putting it back and carrying him out of the store SCREAMING. I had to wait for my grandma who was paying, because I wasn't sure if she could carry all the bags by herself, and she didn't have a quarter to get a cart. He screamed. We eventually got to the car, and he stopped screaming after 5-10 minutes in the car. Yeah, that was stressful...It will be a while before *I* go grocery shopping with a 3yo again lol)<br><br>
It seems to me that he is in the process of figuring out that he might actually have more control than he thought. lol. Obviously, developmentally appropriate.<br>
What can I do to give him that opportunity to be in control (while still saying no to the things that matter). At this age, is "giving choices" a good idea? I've never been a fan of the idea of "false choices" (as in, you have no choice about a bath, but I'm going to try to distract you by giving you a choice of washcloth color.)<br>
I've always tried to be "don't MAKE him make choices, but LET him make choices that he makes of his own volition" but perhaps that isn't age appropriate anymore? Maybe that was good and well for the agreeable 2yo I had oh so long ago, but not so good anymore...lol
And sometimes in situations where there is really not an option. Like the other day in the grocery store, he wanted some Thomas Trains (that they conveniently place RIGHT by the cash registers). I empathized, explained, gave him his wish in fantasy, tried to find other fun things for him to do, insisted, and eventually told him that I would just wait there until he was ready to put it back. He said "I won't!" (and he didn't. I could see it really wasn't going anywhere, and I ended up putting it back and carrying him out of the store SCREAMING. I had to wait for my grandma who was paying, because I wasn't sure if she could carry all the bags by herself, and she didn't have a quarter to get a cart. He screamed. We eventually got to the car, and he stopped screaming after 5-10 minutes in the car. Yeah, that was stressful...It will be a while before *I* go grocery shopping with a 3yo again lol)<br><br>
It seems to me that he is in the process of figuring out that he might actually have more control than he thought. lol. Obviously, developmentally appropriate.<br>
What can I do to give him that opportunity to be in control (while still saying no to the things that matter). At this age, is "giving choices" a good idea? I've never been a fan of the idea of "false choices" (as in, you have no choice about a bath, but I'm going to try to distract you by giving you a choice of washcloth color.)<br>
I've always tried to be "don't MAKE him make choices, but LET him make choices that he makes of his own volition" but perhaps that isn't age appropriate anymore? Maybe that was good and well for the agreeable 2yo I had oh so long ago, but not so good anymore...lol