[esperanza4paz]

For context, my son is 13 months old and breastfed in the morning, twice during the day, before bed, and anywhere from 1 to 3 times during the night. He eats solid foods at least 3 times a day, so he is eating a lot, it seems, even though he "wakes up" a lot at night.

Since my son was born, I have had absolutely no interest in sex. None. Whatsoever. I know that breastfeeding can interfere with sex hormones and thus sex drive early on after baby is born, but can that still be the case for "extended breastfeeding" at 13 months? I plan to ask my doctor about this when I visit again soon, but since I do not know her opinion or knowledge on breastfeeding, I would like to know other's experiences, opinions and knowledge on the matter. Thank you!

Diane

 

[Macnamara]

My son is almost 15 mo. old and I could care less if I had sex. What little drive I had before getting pg has totally disappeared.

 

[koalove]

My ds, who is now 4, totally killed my sex drive. he no longer nurses but still, i went from being ready to go all the time, to "yeah, ide rather read a book or take a nap." i blamed it on bf too but he weaned at 14 mos. and it never returned. I think it is motherhood now. as in, i am tired, and rarely have time to myself so i would rather use the time when ds is sleeping to do other things. Do you have other kids? you might just be tired mama. bf definately causes vaginal dryness so of course that makes sex less appealing. sorry i cant offer more specific advice. be gentle with yourself.

 

[esperanza4paz]

That's helpful - to know that I may not be completely crazy and alone in this. It is frustrating, especially when reading that many women can't even make it to 6 weeks postpartum to get back into the jive! And even more crushing is hearing about women who claim that they had the best sex of their life during the breastfeeding years! Then, there I am, thinking "HUH?! What the...?!" My lack of sex drive is nearing aggravating - I am getting tired of chalking it up to "being tired" - which is still a very legitimate reason. I figure it may also be due to a lack of focused exercising and stretching - you know, to get my blood and energy flowing in general.

I was also curious what, if any, the hormonal relationship may be between breastfeeding and sex drive. Even after more than a year of BFing can the various hormonal balance be related to high/low/normal sex drive? Any scientists out there?

Thanks for your responses, and I would be glad to read more.

 

[Bluegoat]

I'm never much interested in sex while BF. Though more so since I stated menstruating again, but not to normal (for me) levels.

 

[pbjmama]

It is very normal, the same hormone rule apples when your baby is new or getting to the toddler stage. If your period hasn't come back it will help some when it does.

 

[TzippityDoulah]

as dumb as it may sound... sometimes having sex is what gets you in the mood. in other words the longer you go wihout it the easier it is to not want it or need it. but you loose such a wonderful connection with your partner that way. (trust me.. BTDT!!) so now I make sure we are frequent enough to remind me why i like it. it sounds silly but it REALLY helps. it took a little time to get to that point though. it wasn't overnight. but eventually I was liek "hey! I remember this! I used to like this!" and suddenly I liked it again heh..

 

[Mamatoabunch]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HennyPenny as dumb as it may sound... sometimes having sex is what gets you in the mood. in other words the longer you go wihout it the easier it is to not want it or need it. but you loose such a wonderful connection with your partner that way. (trust me.. BTDT!!) so now I make sure we are frequent enough to remind me why i like it. it sounds silly but it REALLY helps. it took a little time to get to that point though. it wasn't overnight. but eventually I was liek "hey! I remember this! I used to like this!" and suddenly I liked it again heh..

This was exactly it for me w/ my 5th-8th. I had no drive, but just doing it helped alot. If I said no, no I would get in a space to not want it at all and that was not good for dh and I.

 

[[email protected]]

None here either! (16month nursling) But yes, I get in the mood once it starts.
Its all mental really. I get into it for my hubby, it means alot to them

 

[momasana]

I think it is normal. DS is 21 mo, I got my period back when he was only 6 mo (boooo!) and I have zero drive.

But like others have mentioned, the getting started part can be difficult but it gets better once you're actually participating in the act.

Don't worry yourself too much about it though. Taking care of an older nursling is exausting.

 

[Taryn237]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HennyPenny as dumb as it may sound... sometimes having sex is what gets you in the mood. in other words the longer you go wihout it the easier it is to not want it or need it. but you loose such a wonderful connection with your partner that way. (trust me.. BTDT!!) so now I make sure we are frequent enough to remind me why i like it. it sounds silly but it REALLY helps. it took a little time to get to that point though. it wasn't overnight. but eventually I was liek "hey! I remember this! I used to like this!" and suddenly I liked it again heh..

I agree too. It took awhile but once we had a couple good nights

I found myself missing my DH when it became too long. I crave the intimacy with him more than the actual deed though. Its nice to take off the mommy exterior and find a woman underneath.

 

[asoulunbound]

I think it's totally possible. I second (tenth? lol) what pp said about having sex to get you in the mood.

 

[mjg013]

Once your period returns so should your sex drive. If it doesn't you may want to get your levels checked. It could just be exhaustion but it could also be a medical problem. I have ZERO drive while nursing but I usually know before I have my first period because when I ovulate my drive goes way up. It's all I can think about.

 

[jitterBug mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjg013 Once your period returns so should your sex drive. If it doesn't you may want to get your levels checked. It could just be exhaustion but it could also be a medical problem. I have ZERO drive while nursing but I usually know before I have my first period because when I ovulate my drive goes way up. It's all I can think about.

:

I could also tell the first time I ovulated before getting my period back because it effects me so strongly. It is related to prolactin and the effect it has on the other hormones in your body - testosterone, progesterone and estrogen.

I posted about this recently on a similar thread and it includes some links to info about the hormonal effects of breastfeeding:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...463&highlight=

 

[mjg013]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jitterBug mom : I could also tell the first time I ovulated before getting my period back because it effects me so strongly. It is related to prolactin and the effect it has on the other hormones in your body - testosterone, progesterone and estrogen. I posted about this recently on a similar thread and it includes some links to info about the hormonal effects of breastfeeding: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...463&highlight=

Thanks for the link. That was very interesting. I knew about the suppression of hormone levels. I've never researched it though. I never skipped a period with the first 2 I nursed. Then with my 3rd I went 12 mos, then 8 mos with 4th, 10 mos with the twins and I just started last month and I have an almost 9 month old baby now. I never have issues with depression postpartum, I'm actually euphoric generally. But I have ZERO sex drive and also absence of natural lubrication. Sorry, TMI.

 

[ommom]

i was horny as can be 3rd trimester and have had zero libido for the 4 mo. since baby was born. my hubby just figures it may be a year or so before the libido returns due to BFing. i figure evolutionarily-speaking, women don't need to procreate w/a little one so it's probably natural hormonally to have zero libido.

for me, too, i'm so in mommy mode i don't feel sexy at all.

 

[HappyMommy2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjg013 Once your period returns so should your sex drive. If it doesn't you may want to get your levels checked. .

Levels of what???!?!?

 

[atlambert]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch This was exactly it for me w/ my 5th-8th. I had no drive, but just doing it helped alot. If I said no, no I would get in a space to not want it at all and that was not good for dh and I.

I found the same thing. If I say no once, it's easier to say no more and more, then DH stops being interested, too, at least outwardly. He wants to, but doesn't want to ask, b/c he assumes (correctly, unfortunately) that I'll say no. I've tried going for it, even if not in the mood to begin with, because it's important for our relationship!

 

[Tari Mithrandir]

My DD id also 13 months, and I also couldn't care less about sex. I didn't even have sex until 5 months PP! And it certainly isn't regular now

I probably could try to put an effort into it, for DH's sake, but I don't even have that much interest. Once in a blue moon when DD takes a nap in her crib, I muster up enough to DTD, but eh...
And before DD, I was a 'several times a day' type, especially while I was pregnant