Mothering Forum banner

No party for you!

834 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Britishmum
I am feeling like a bad mom. Both my kids' birthdays are this week - dd turned 3 was last Wednesday and ds will be 5 tomorrow.

For dd's b-day we had cake and presents and went to the zoo. Tomorrow we will have cake and presents and do whatever ds wants to do.

So far so good.

The problem is that I told the kids that we would have a small party with friends - but I didn't organize one. I made half-hearted attempts to get something together but a lot of people are out of town, the weather is unpredictable so I can't really plan an outdoor party, our house is too much of a mess and a little too small for an indoor party - and I'm not getting much help from DH. I know - lots of excuses.

Mainly I just don't want to have a party. I don't think dd cares - she got her cake and presents, but I think ds is at an age where it matters more. Plus, I know my friend is planning a huge party for her son next weekend, as she does for all her 4 kids - complete with lots of food and cakes and games and party favors and organized activities. I don't want my kids to think that they don't deserve a big party like that - but I'm just not up for getting it together.

I guess the best I can do is plan a little get-together for next weekend - even though their birthdays have already passed. Would you have been really disappointed if your parents did that when you were turing 5?

I'm just feeling like a not-so-good mom this days and now this birthday thing...
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Maybe you could set up a special playdate for your son? Even just one friend over to celebratewith would be fun for him, I think. Order in pizza or some other food that they like and let them run around for a bit, being boys. Don't stress it. I know as moms we want everything perfect for our kids and succumb easily to the guity feelings, but if for some reason you are not up to a big party, this could be a compromise for you.

Happy Birthday to your kids!
I find birthday parties a stress, too. Still, I think it is important to celebrate your child as a unique and special person, and doing that on his birthday just seems natural. However, you don't have to do it with a crowd of kids. In your family, you do it with a low-key event, and in other families, they have a big party. If your ds asks for a big party, then you can plan one together for next year, which gives you a long time to get the house in order. (Personally, I don't think that having a neat house is a prerequisite for having a party.)
One idea, you can invite freinds to meet for ice cream or something like that at the local PlayPlace. Our local McDs is very family-friendly and I see familys on week days at 3 pm-ish with a home made cake and sodas. Kids get fun. Adults get low cost fun. Etc. We invited Taylor's best friends to Chuck E Cheese for his party. $20 for pizza and games and we were done and the kids were thrilled.
The whole child party thing is so weird to me. I NEVER had a birthday party or went to many as a child. Birthdays were about family and special food and maybe a friend coming over. Now it seems like de rigour to have major parties for kids. Just outside my experience. I guess I'll try once my kids get to an age that they actively clamor for one, but it, luckily, doesn't sound like yours are quite there yet.

I like the idea of one friend or maybe a small group going to the zoo or children's musuem or chucky cheese. They have to "do" ready made birthday parties at those places. Or they can each invite a "best" friend over to celebrate at home. The "bestness" will probably substitute for quantity.
dh and i both agree, when we where young we didnt like parties with lots of freinds. What we really like was one special friend and then choose what we wanted to do that day. For example i would choose to go swimming at a hot springs and eat pizza (homeade) then have carrot cake.

parties dh and i say always had some kid who hasnt happy or wanted to go home, fought with the others ect.
Whatever your feelings now, I think it matters that you promised a party. Personally, I think you should follow through but make it manageable. A bunch of balloons, frozen pizza, cake and ice cream for a few friends isn't too hard to organise and means you keep your word.

I agree with other posters that parties are not essential, but I do think that if you say you are going to do something, you need to do it.

See less See more
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.