[Perogi]

Anyone else catch this? I usually avoid all things parenting when it comes to him but I saw it advertised and had to see what he would say. I was pleasantly surprised to see him say that he doesn't think spanking is necessary or overly useful. Now, he is certainly not gd but I'm really glad that he advocated a no-spanking position to a such a widespread mainstream audience. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">

 

[HappyHSer]

I have mixed feelings. I'm glad to have a mainstream voice for not spanking.<br><br>
But his "find their currency" approach makes me sad and frustrated.

 

[Artisan]

I am happy to see him take a stance on this. So many people look to him for mainstream, common sense advice, and it's definitely a step in the right direction.

 

[johub]

Dr. Phil has always been against spanking. I have read his book "Family First" and I liked the first half, but not really the second (because it was about "takign back control") etc. . .<br>
But he really has lots of good things to say about establishing a strong bond with your kids and spending time with them and really getting to know them and parenting them according to their needs and personality type.<br>
My biggest beef against Dr. Phil is that he is a behaviorist. And I think children are too precious to be treated from a purely behaviorist standpoint.<br>
But I disagree with most when I say that I DO think Dr Phil is GD, just on the edge furthest away from non-coercive tcs stuff, not very far from where I stand in fact..<br>
Dr Phil will run a parent up and down over being rough with kids, or yelling or fighting in front of them or belittling them or threatening them and especially for hitting them.<br>
Joline

 

[annab]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>johub</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My biggest beef against Dr. Phil is that he is a behaviorist. And I think children are too precious to be treated from a purely behaviorist standpoint.</div>
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This is why I think you would like Unconditional Parenting! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">

 

[WuWei]

Yes Joline, I will buy it for you. Send me your address. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Pat

 

[slinginhipmama]

I too steer clear of any advive about parenting from Dr. Phil, but caught this show (my mom enjoys him) I was glad to hear that he expressed how ineffective spanking was but I too was left sad when he began talking about "control".<br>
I am learning slowly my role in parenting, that I don't need to control my boys, I don't have to always be right and that it is ok to let them have a say in our family....I'm not perfect, I still slip and catch myself mid sentence but with each situation it becomes more natural to think as a 4 yr old...ahh the joys of parenthood!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">

 

[johub]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annab</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This is why I think you would like Unconditional Parenting! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"></div>
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I have read Alfie Kohn's Punished by Rewards, which basically is his book which specifically targets behaviorism. I didnt like it.<br>
In fact when I say my problem is behaviorism it is not because I think behaviorism is all bad (as Punished by Rewards seems to claim) at all, but that it should not be a primary tool and should be done very carefully and with lots of love with children.<br>
I do not believe that behaviorism is entirely wrong. I do not believe it has all the answers but unlike Kohn I dont think it needs to be thrown away altogether. I prefer a middlin approach. One of the tools in the toolkit but not the best or favorite.<br>
Given the choice between Kohn and McGraw. I personally take McGraw.<br>
Joline