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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
He supported me through the natural birth of two children...
He supported me through breastfeeding beyond infacy twice...
He supported me while I worked full time, finished my degree and was preg with #2...
WHY, WHY, WHY can he not support my weight loss

SIGH
Anyone else?
At one point he told me I was neglecting the kids I was going to the gym too often (2hr a day 5-6 days a week)
Recently he told me I have gone way past (under?) a weight he thinks is attractive (I'm a 12/14 at this point)

It bumms me out but I'm not stopping. To date from my biggest I have lost 125lbs. I can run up a fight of steps where I use to get out of breath just walking them. I have tons of energy and my body feels like my own. So maybe we can all be each others support
 

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That's really tough! DH is pretty supportive, but has been working a lot. I can't train for an upcoming race the way I want to and it is very frustrating.

Maybe there is some underlying issue. Does he have a weight issue? Maybe he feels overwhelmed with the kids? Can you talk to him about it? Can you put the kids in the daycare at the gym?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by SugarAndSun View Post
That's really tough! DH is pretty supportive, but has been working a lot. I can't train for an upcoming race the way I want to and it is very frustrating.

Maybe there is some underlying issue. Does he have a weight issue? Maybe he feels overwhelmed with the kids? Can you talk to him about it? Can you put the kids in the daycare at the gym?
I've tried talking too him, I can't seem to get to an underlieing reason. They never stay home with him I always take them to the child care at the gym
 

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My husband supports me, but at the same time will suggest that we go eat burgers at Culvers. I think he's more supportive of exercise than of eating well. It's weird because he was such a healthy eater when we met.
 

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Quote:
He supported me through the natural birth of two children...
He supported me through breastfeeding beyond infacy twice...
He supported me while I worked full time, finished my degree and was preg with #2...
WHY, WHY, WHY can he not support my weight loss
SIGH
Anyone else?
At one point he told me I was neglecting the kids I was going to the gym too often (2hr a day 5-6 days a week)
Recently he told me I have gone way past (under?) a weight he thinks is attractive (I'm a 12/14 at this point)

It bumms me out but I'm not stopping. To date from my biggest I have lost 125lbs. I can run up a fight of steps where I use to get out of breath just walking them. I have tons of energy and my body feels like my own. So maybe we can all be each others support
I'm sorry that your dh isn't supporting you. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss and your hard work and commitment to being healthy and exercising. I commend you
: Your story is really inspiring and it makes me sad that your dh isn't bragging about you and so proud, but instead a bit hurtful in saying you neglect your kids and are too thin.

Is your dh overweight? Could this be threatening to him? Is it possible that he is jealous of your success? Or, could he be afraid that you look so good that you'll leave him? Were you overweight when you met and first married? I'm just curious.

I think that it's very healthy that you are looking for support for others since you are not getting it from your dh.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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Originally Posted by TatianaTiger View Post
I'm sorry that your dh isn't supporting you. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss and your hard work and commitment to being healthy and exercising. I commend you
: Your story is really inspiring and it makes me sad that your dh isn't bragging about you and so proud, but instead a bit hurtful in saying you neglect your kids and are too thin.

I think that it's very healthy that you are looking for support for others since you are not getting it from your dh.
Thanks

Is your dh overweight?
Yes
Could this be threatening to him?
Yes
Is it possible that he is jealous of your success?
I don't think so he EASILY losses weight when he wants to. In January when I got a gym membership he worked out once a week and lost 35 lbs in the time it took me to looose 22lbs working out everyday.

Or, could he be afraid that you look so good that you'll leave him?
BINGO, that's my biggest guess. But If I felt that way about my SO I think I would try a little harder to be nice to them

Were you overweight when you met and first married?
Yes I as my biggest just after we got married my wedding dress was a size 28
I'm just curious.

I think it hurts me all the more right now cause I feel so good about my self and what I've done
And we aren't getting along that well which hightens the stress
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ewp11100 View Post
Thanks

BINGO, that's my biggest guess. But If I felt that way about my SO I think I would try a little harder to be nice to them
:
HEE this cracks me up. ITA.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ewp11100 View Post
Thanks

Is your dh overweight?
Yes
Could this be threatening to him?
Yes
Is it possible that he is jealous of your success?
I don't think so he EASILY losses weight when he wants to. In January when I got a gym membership he worked out once a week and lost 35 lbs in the time it took me to looose 22lbs working out everyday.

Or, could he be afraid that you look so good that you'll leave him?
BINGO, that's my biggest guess. But If I felt that way about my SO I think I would try a little harder to be nice to them

Were you overweight when you met and first married?
Yes I as my biggest just after we got married my wedding dress was a size 28
I'm just curious.

I think it hurts me all the more right now cause I feel so good about my self and what I've done
And we aren't getting along that well which hightens the stress

It sounds to me like your dh is really insecure and you losing weight and looking good is very threateining to him. I think he's really afraid of losing you. You would think that he would try a little harder then in terms of being good to you and making you feel special. Unfortunately, fear has a tendency to bring out the worst in people so instead of building you up, he's tearing you down


Have you tried to calmly tell him how his behavior makes you feel? Like, "I feel sad when you tell me that I'm too thin. You're my husband and I love it when you find me attractive."
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by TatianaTiger View Post
It sounds to me like your dh is really insecure and you losing weight and looking good is very threateining to him. I think he's really afraid of losing you. You would think that he would try a little harder then in terms of being good to you and making you feel special. Unfortunately, fear has a tendency to bring out the worst in people so instead of building you up, he's tearing you down


Have you tried to calmly tell him how his behavior makes you feel? Like, "I feel sad when you tell me that I'm too thin. You're my husband and I love it when you find me attractive."
PLEASE DON"T GET OFFENDED! But... This would be totally corney coming from me, he would look at me and laugh. I'm a "tuff tattoed mama" Not to say I don't have feelings but I'm just not touchy feely most of the time
Mostly I say "gees dude way to build me up" or "wow that was so nice of you hun, I just love it when you sweet talk me" I guess sarcasm isn't working thought huh
I'll think on it, you definatly have a point
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ewp11100 View Post
PLEASE DON"T GET OFFENDED! But... This would be totally corney coming from me, he would look at me and laugh. I'm a "tuff tattoed mama" Not to say I don't have feelings but I'm just not touchy feely most of the time
Mostly I say "gees dude way to build me up" or "wow that was so nice of you hun, I just love it when you sweet talk me" I guess sarcasm isn't working thought huh
I'll think on it, you definatly have a point

I'm not offended at all. I mentioned telling him your feelings by using an "I statement" because he won't be able to argue with you about your feelings. He can't say "You don't feel ______". In my experience people are less likely to get defensive and more likely to listen and try to understand what you are saying.

But as you said, this may not work for you because it doesn't sound like something that you'd usually say. I don't think that sarcasm really works, but I can't say something else that would work. Hmmm, I'll have to think about it.
 
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