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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I never felt the "urge to push" w/ my UC baby or with the placental delivery afterwards. My mom told me she never felt it either (she had 3 nonmedicated hospital births). Is this really unusual?
 

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I didn't feel it with either of my 2 vaginal deliveries, one of which was unmedicated. #3 was an emergency c-section (placental abruption) so yeah. . . no urge to push there either


I have read that there can be a period of time between complete dilation and the urge to push. Sort of the body's way of resting and gearing up for the big finale. Because so many births are hypermanaged by the hospital staff, the mom is urged to start pushing before her body is actually ready to do so.
 

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I have had a period between full dilation and the urge to push with most of my babies.

With my first birth, the home midwife told me that I was fully dilated and it was time o push. I pushed for hours and ended up causing the anterior lip to swell. The baby was posterior causing even further pain, but still no urge to push. After about 4 hours of pushing and 27 hours of labor over all, I transferred to the hospital. In the car, on the way, I had my urge to push finally, but at that point, I was not having them turn around to go home.

With my second labor, I had the same home midwife. She told me again that I was fully dilated and that I should try pushing. i refused and told her that I would push when I was ready. She was upset with but didn't argue. I rested on my left side for about 45 minutes and then felt a spurt of energy. I got down off the bed and onto all fours. After 3 pushes, he was out. It was kind of funny... my husband said "are you pushing" and the midwife said "it will be a while" and then my husband said "I see a head!" and they all started scrambling to catch him. I shocked them all.

With my 3rd, I pushed before I was fully dilated because my midwife could feel her head descending and pushing the cervix out of the way. I was also feeling pushy already. I actually told her that I felt like pushing and she said to give it a try and if it felt right go with it. It was the right decision.

My 4th was a UC. I don't know when or if I was fully dilated with her but there was a very short break in contractions and that was my rest period. Again, she was out fairly quickly.
 

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I have yet to feel it. My MIL never felt it and she had 9 vaginal births.

With DD2 I waited and waited for that "unmistakable urge you just can't resist". I think my labour was longer as a result. I finally got tired of waiting for it and just started pushing. She was born 3 contractions later. I don't plan on waiting around next time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
With my UC babe, I don't think I could've waited any longer for an "urge." I could feel the baby's head buldging against my perineum, and I started trying to push him out, but it didn't seem like my pushing was having any effect. I couldn't deal with the pain from the contrax anymore b/c of the additional pain&pressure in my pelvis. For some reason I thought I would get a break from the contrax during the pushing stage, but it didn't happen for me. It was at this point I panicked a bit, and my DP called my doula for advice. It only took a few words from her to get me to calm down and do what I needed to do, but I really lost it for a bit there. I really wanted to wait for the "urge" b/c I hoped that it would keep me from tearing, but it never came, and I ended up pushing him out all in a rush, and tearing a good bit. Hoping this time it will be easier because I will know what to expect, and be able to stay calm, slow down, and not tear.
 

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For my first two births I had the urge but for my last 3, all UCs, I did not. I don't know why for sure but I definitely couldn't have waited any longer to push. My contractions are pushing contractions as they are stronger feeling than the ones before them. I percieve them as more painful. I know that they were all high up when I started to push and I had to push hard to pop them past my pubic bone. All were born within 1 or 2 pushes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by lanielayne View Post
For my first two births I had the urge but for my last 3, all UCs, I did not. I don't know why for sure but I definitely couldn't have waited any longer to push. My contractions are pushing contractions as they are stronger feeling than the ones before them. I percieve them as more painful. I know that they were all high up when I started to push and I had to push hard to pop them past my pubic bone. All were born within 1 or 2 pushes.
That's really interesting. I'm not sure if the baby was stuck on my pubic bone or what but after I got on hands and knees it wasn't hard to push him out. Def going to use that position again if I need to! I wonder if it has anything to do w/ my kids having BIG heads?
 

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I'm a little confused from this conversation. Do you mean urge to push at all ever? Even when baby is crowning? Or before baby crowns?

With both of mine, after full dilation I didn't have that undeniable, must push feeling, but I kind of felt like I wanted to and it might feel good. So I did little fake pushes. (No one was telling me to push so I could listen to those promptings that totally confused me at the time, and confuse me still). They were totally different than once the baby crowned and there was no way to deny those pushes. My second baby was born after 3 those pushes.
 

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There was no crowning in my last 3 births. I don't really know the answer. I had SPD with these 3, really badly with my 4th child, so maybe I am/was very misaligned. All of my children were 9 1/2 to 10 lb babies so had big heads but my last was a "normal" size at 7 1/2 lbs. I still didn't get the urge with her.
 

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Absolutely no urge to push, ever. Took herbal stimulation to restart contractions when I was fully dilated.

I had to consciously 'push' which, as it was my first labor, was a very strange feeling. I had no idea what it meant to 'push' or what it felt like.

I did get a rush of hormones towards the end of the pushing stage w/ a contraction though. It was like an orgasm (sorry if TMI). But no 'urge'

In fact, I was quite bitter afterwards (I'm better now lol) b/c so many women told me it would be like vomiting, and to hold back and not push, to wait for my body etc etc. Whatever! lol
 

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I didn't feel the urge to push with my daughter. I didn't know that happened to other people too! I pushed and pushed for 4 hours and then she was pulled out with a vacuum. I think this time I will just try and wait it out if nothing happens. They just had me all freaked out and tired in the hospital from pushing so hard for so long when I didn't have the urge to.
 

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OP -- there have been lots and lots of threads about pushing that you can find if you do a search.


Lanie, what do you mean when you say that the baby never crowned?

I didn't feel the urge with my first, which I believe was due to the midwife having me push as soon as I was fully dilated. I think that for me to just go ahead and start bearing down as hard as I could somehow short-circuited the normal process, the cues and feedback were all messed up.

With my last (my second UC) I again did not feel the urge to push. I believe (given my history) that it would have come eventually and that my body would have pushed the baby out regardless. I started pushing when I could feel the baby's head and I was just done with the back pain. I immediately felt the baby moving down, so I kept it up; if it had been otherwise I would have stopped and waited a bit. So yeah, I do understand why someone would want to push on their own initiative, and sometimes the body is ready enough that it works out. My worry is that people reading about women "never getting the urge" will assume that for some women their bodies will never birth the baby, and that not having a pushing urge at full dilation is evidence of this. It's okay to wait for your body to move the baby down, and usually best to wait (because intense pushing before the baby is properly situated or the body is ready for the baby to move through -- and full dilation doesn't necessarily mean that it is -- makes complications more likely.)
 

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I've been thinking about this more and more.

Maybe part of the urge has to do with the nerves being stimulated in that area? For instance I don't feel crowning or the stinging/tightness associated with it. I do however feel the pop of the head and then the body. I don't feel anything beyond the contractions (and no they aren't body wracking so it's not like I'm getting swept up in one feeling). I'm always so confused when people say they feel the baby kicking the entire time etc. I just don't feel anything.
Maybe the two are tied? Who knows. I'll ask my MIL next time I see her more about it. My FIL cut her off last time since it was icky lady stuff.
:

I have to say that threads like this irk me to an extent.
It almost always comes across to me that for those of us who do consciously push and don't get that urge are doing something wrong. For instance I had a 10 hour labour with DD2 and I was exhausted. There was no way I was about to wait it out for her to move down by herself. I had already waited for quite some time before thinking it was "safe" to push. I think it just perpetuates the myth that we women don't know what we are doing when it comes to birth (in general...not just the UC forum). Yes, it's best to wait it out and it is natural/normal to have the rejection reflex/pushing urge but its just as normal to not get it and to have to think about pushing and not/can't wait for the baby/body to do it on it's own.

Ok...sorry. Rant over.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I'll have say I'm a little annoyed by that comment too. In my case, my baby's head was pressed against my perineum, there was no place for him to go but out! I'm not stupid, I KNEW it was time for my baby to be born, but I didn't have any overwhelming urge to push, and actually needed some help to find a good position to birth in before everything worked right. I don't feel like my body failed me, I feel like I was inexperienced, tired and panicky and I wasn't able to interpret what was my body was telling me (that I wasn't in the right position to birth this baby). I do think it has to do with nerves in the area, b/c I never felt any "ring of fire" just a pop and slipping feeling as the baby slid out. IF in this next birth the baby's head is buldging against my perineum and it's obvious it's time for her to be born, I'm not going to wait forever for some elusive ejection reflex to start pushing.


Quote:

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
I've been thinking about this more and more.

Maybe part of the urge has to do with the nerves being stimulated in that area? For instance I don't feel crowning or the stinging/tightness associated with it. I do however feel the pop of the head and then the body. I don't feel anything beyond the contractions (and no they aren't body wracking so it's not like I'm getting swept up in one feeling). I'm always so confused when people say they feel the baby kicking the entire time etc. I just don't feel anything.
Maybe the two are tied? Who knows. I'll ask my MIL next time I see her more about it. My FIL cut her off last time since it was icky lady stuff.
:

I have to say that threads like this irk me to an extent.
It almost always comes across to me that for those of us who do consciously push and don't get that urge are doing something wrong. For instance I had a 10 hour labour with DD2 and I was exhausted. There was no way I was about to wait it out for her to move down by herself. I had already waited for quite some time before thinking it was "safe" to push. I think it just perpetuates the myth that we women don't know what we are doing when it comes to birth (in general...not just the UC forum). Yes, it's best to wait it out and it is natural/normal to have the rejection reflex/pushing urge but its just as normal to not get it and to have to think about pushing and not/can't wait for the baby/body to do it on it's own.

Ok...sorry. Rant over.

 

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I didn't get the urge with my last either. In fact, I didn't "push" at all. The contractions pushed her out. It was quick. I felt her enter the birth canal, got up on my knees, and in under minute, my water broke and her head was out. There was no effort on my part but I did feel my body pushing her.

With my 2nd, I pushed because my medwives TOLD me to. I had no urge. Once I began pushing, my body took over and I couldn't stop it no matter how hard I tried. *I* wasn't doing anything. My uterus was doing it all.

I've always wondered if this was unusual.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
I've been thinking about this more and more.

Maybe part of the urge has to do with the nerves being stimulated in that area? For instance I don't feel crowning or the stinging/tightness associated with it. I do however feel the pop of the head and then the body. I don't feel anything beyond the contractions (and no they aren't body wracking so it's not like I'm getting swept up in one feeling). I'm always so confused when people say they feel the baby kicking the entire time etc. I just don't feel anything.
Maybe the two are tied? Who knows. I'll ask my MIL next time I see her more about it. My FIL cut her off last time since it was icky lady stuff.
:

I have to say that threads like this irk me to an extent.
It almost always comes across to me that for those of us who do consciously push and don't get that urge are doing something wrong. For instance I had a 10 hour labour with DD2 and I was exhausted. There was no way I was about to wait it out for her to move down by herself. I had already waited for quite some time before thinking it was "safe" to push. I think it just perpetuates the myth that we women don't know what we are doing when it comes to birth (in general...not just the UC forum). Yes, it's best to wait it out and it is natural/normal to have the rejection reflex/pushing urge but its just as normal to not get it and to have to think about pushing and not/can't wait for the baby/body to do it on it's own.

Ok...sorry. Rant over.

That all makes sense to me, except I did feel her kicking. In fact, she would move and start kicking then I would get a contraction.

I know, I know it's not scientific, but sometimes I wonder if she was just so huge that she was stuck in there and my body was like, "well, time to give up." Odd and slightly cynical, but even though I felt things, nothing was moving. It was manual all the way!
:
 

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Oh I just meant in my case. Hope you didn't think I was referring to you specifically about that!
 

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I had ds in the hospital (induced) and had an epi (I know, I know, double whammy) so I had NO pushing urge, lol, but I did notice that my body was doing all the work. At first the docs were telling me to push to 10 sec yada yada, man do they take forever when they are counting to 10!!! Anyways, I got tired of it and was getting a headache so in the middle of it I told them I was takin a break, you should've seen their faces
, first they told me I couldn't and I was like what are you gonna do make me push? hehehe I was 18 and stubborn as well you know. Anyhow so I just relaxed and let my body do the work, I helped a bit here and there when I felt ready to and only pushed as long (not 10 sec.) as I felt comfortable with. He was out in 38 min. not bad for a first timer who had an epi
.

So when I had my UC with my daughter 10 months ago you can imagine my shock and surprise when I didn't get to choose when to push.
This time around it was extreme pushing, as if well yeah I was throwing up backwards, well down there.. I actually DONT like that feeling, I know pushing is probably difficult when you have no urge but I think I liked the no urge a WHOLE lot better than not even getting a chance to breathe, ok I did breathe but it certainly didn't feel like it when my body what pushing. The first ten minutes I was holding back trying to not push because it was sooo overwhelming and painful, then I finally gave in and pushed along and out she came about 10 minutes later.

So I'm sure I sound crazy now, but I'm a little envious of the "no urge to push" group, if anyone finds out how to become a member let me know!
 

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With my first baby, somewhere around the end of the transition stage I couldn't sit still anymore and walked (almost stomped?) around the house for a little while. (The sensation of movement canceled out some of the pain sensations. I do the same thing when I have rare period cramps.) Somewhere in there the pushing urges started - FIERCELY! I could choose to actively push *with* them or relax into them, but they were almost entirely involuntary.

At the time I just knew that I had a surprisingly easy birth (first labor & only 5 hours) but looking back I realize more and more how much credit the midwife deserves for never "over-managing" me. Her support was constant, but her instructions were few and far between, more along the lines of asking how my body felt and reminding me why certain things were happening, and asking how I wanted to respond to them, suggesting options when appropriate. I don't remember her "telling me what to do" even once. This helped to keep me supremely relaxed and trusting of the birth process instead of trying to follow a set of to-do's that would have felt synthetic to my body.

This might be a slightly inappropriate analogy, dunno, but pushing when the urge is almost involuntary vs. forcing it when told, seems a lot like relaxing into making love and letting an orgasm just happen vs. tensing up all those muscles on purpose and forcing one just to get it done a little faster, if that makes sense. Both choices have their place depending on circumstances, but taking a little more time for things to unfold naturally has its benefits.


eta - While my pushing urges were overpowering, they weren't unpleasant. Not pleasurable in an orgasmic way, but definitely exhilarating! I remember being absolutely amazed that my body was capable of that kind of autonomic movement!
 

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I just read a birth story on a blog I frequent an she mentioned that her second birth took longer. Come to find out it was because her waters were intact until 10 minutes before her son was bon (with her DD they were broken to speed labour). Her midwife told her an intact water lessens the pushing urge. So curious...those who don't get the urge when does your water break?

Mine doesn't break until crowning.
 
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