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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a couple of questions for the midwives and doulas.
First, at my last birth (in hospital with OB), I was told to go ahead and push even though I didn't have the urge. Apparently I had a "lip" that they were sure I could push past. Is it common to be fully dilated/effaced and not have the urge to push? I did push because quite frankly at that point I just wanted it all over with. and I only pushed 3 times before ds came out. But I ended up with an episiotomy and a third degree tear and I was wondering if perhaps I shouldn't have pushed? Maybe if I had waited would I eventually have gotten the urge to push?
Second, I have been watching "A Baby Story" on TV and seen some examples where the women didn't push at all and the baby just "came on its own". That intrigues me. Is that common? Where there is no pushing on the mom's part?
We are thinking of having another one and I am just curious about those two things.
Thanks!
 

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bump

I'm curious too...I was told to go ahead and push and did b/c I thought I was going to die and pushing felt better. But I pushed for almost 3 hours (I think I swelled a little making it harder to push dd out - but I dunno for sure).
 

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Quote:
I was told to go ahead and push even though I didn't have the urge. Apparently I had a "lip" that they were sure I could push past.
ROFLMAO, this sounds so funny that they want you to push because there was a lip that they thought you couldn't push past.

First when there is a bit of a lip of cervix left, if they turn you onto the side that the lip is on(or let you stand/squat/sit) it will help the lip go away faster.

Anyhow, lots of women hit 10cm and go into a resting phase. It usually lasts from a couple of mintues - 60minutes and then your body will get the urge to push. It is much easier to wait until you get the urge to push than if you push and don't have that urge.

I never had it with my first, I didn't know about the resting phase until after I had my 3rd. I pushed for 40minutes. Because I didn't have that urge to push I really had no idea what I was doing. I had an unnecessary episiotomy, ending up with a 4th degree cut or tear or both.

With my 2nd I had that urge to push, it was more of a I don't know if I have to have a bm or what but something is leaving my body and it's leaving NOW. I pushed for 2-3 minutes, I was holding back until my dr got there.

With my 3rd they were about to take my down for a c-section when my body started pushing. I didn't know I had to push until my body started to. If my dr had not been outside the door he would have missed it.

unless the baby is showing signs of distress there is no need for a woman to push once she gets to 10cm unless she has the urge to push. Sometimes dr's will give pitocin once a woman hits 10cm and stops having contractions, when in reality her body is just resting for the pushing stage. The drs & nurses like a woman to push once she hits 10cm just because they don't want to wait around for the woman to get the urge. It takes about the same amount of time.
 

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10 cm. is an arbitrary number. Are all women's vaginas the same? No. Then why should their cervical measurements be the same? It's absurd. It's like the reasoning is that all that matters in order to get the baby out is that your cervical opening be at a certain minimum diameter.
I can't even roll my eyes enough at that it's such nonsense. It's equally ridiculous to say that dilation is "complete". How do they know that you're not going to dilate to 11 or 12 centimeters? And how, pray tell, did women ever give birth without having doctors and midwives to tell them when to push? Because the body knows when to do it. What's more, the body knows best when to do it. Someone putting their fingers up your vagina can't tell a thing about when your body is actually ready, because true readiness has to do with a complex hormonal choreography that they can't see or feel -- like Carrie said, the body often isn't ready for quite a while after the cervix has fully dilated. Some midwives are good at judging when the body is ready to push the baby out by the way a mother is behaving -- but by that time the body is already doing it, so it's pointless for the midwife to give the go-ahead.
 

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The best way to avoid cervical lips? Keep any and all hands out of your vagina.

It's not my job to give you PERMISSION to push. Your body just does it and you follow along. Listen to your body - it knows more than any one that will attend your birth.

I feel like women do small pushes at the peak of contractions those last couple centimeters - and I think that this is NORMAL and actually helpful in that last bit of dilation. What usually happens, though, is that some person says, "are you PUSHING?? let me check you FIRST...." then, of course, mom may not be "complete", thereby shifting her attention from her body's natural and instinctive urges to a "professional's" permission to move forward, breathe through contractions "now DON'T PUSH yet", etc.

Linda is totally right on.
Each baby's head is different - some babies slip through an 9cm cervix, others need more than 10cm. Either way, when a provider says "ten cm", they just mean that the baby's head is coming through the neck of the uterus and there is no cervix felt around the head.

By truly following your body's lead, you will dilate evenly because chances are you will be changing positions and be more vertical.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you for all the wonderful information. I am printing it out for easy reference. I am going to start a folder of info like this to review before my next labor and delivery. You guys are a wonderful resource
 

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I remember learning that there are some women who get a bit of a break after transtition and before feeling the urge to push. i actually did feel that with my third- i was sitting on the loo, and feeling a lot of pressure and contractions, then they went away and i sat there for at least 15 minutes. I believe it's kind of like the body's way of letting you get a breather before the work of pushing???

About women not pushing, i don't think a woman without medication could help pushing once she feels that urge- it's so powerful! However I've had clients who get epidurals and "labor down" (don't push until baby is visible) and it's actually a good thing- they get less tired and and the staff isn't pulling the mother's legs back for push after push after push.
 
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