[BellaClaudia]

okay. so of course I am antyspanking and very patient mom..
and now I am at loss of method of how to deal with this behavoior:

my daugheter would purposefully do something on and on
and she will not stop..

like she will climb tv shelf that is not safe.

I keep asking her to get down and stop as this is not safe..
she asks me "why"

and at the same time seem like she is not even listening although
I patiently explain her..
so she go again "why"

and keep doing the same thing..

I don't know what should I do to try to break this insenity chain.

____________________________
bumping into my chest:

she found this new game.. she would run into me
or sit on my lap and bounce me into breasts or chest..

It is not safe, it is hurgint me and I fear aobtu brests

since I nurse her at 3 she knows that breasts are improtant for her
and she loves them and to nurse and all and I explain her that it is not
safe and it is not nice. and it makes me upset when she does it..

so here she goes again.. just the opposite.. and hit me with he head

is it something wrong ?

she became also very aggressive once gets frustrated.. as she is usally composed.. when she gets frusrated she will yell.. something is not working and will hit the object on the ground, or last night she would try to hit me with a playdoooh roller just because it was not doing what she wanted to do and since it is a wooden toy I would get it badly if she would manage to hit me. she really intended to, only because I moved quickly enough that she did not.

what is happening to my little girl?

i will not spank her ever and I need really serious help now as how ot handle her please please tell me what to do.

she also jumps on her bed and I don't know how to stop her.

I don't want to threathen her which probably would work.. either.

please help.

 

[staceychev]

I know a lot of moms on MDC will disagree with me, but with my daughter at 3, I've been giving hybrid time-outs. I don't withhold love (got that from reading Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting), but I do (1) pick her up and remove her from the location (2) sit her on a specific chair, on the step or on the bed (3) get down on her level so that we're face-to-face (4) talk to her in very basic language about why I'm upset about what she did.

I let her know constantly--"We don't hit in this family." That includes us, with spanking, but that also includes her. I think that at this age they get totally hyped up and have a hard time downgrading their energy.

Most importantly--cross-post this on the gentle discipline board. There are a lot of wise mamas on that board who have really great ideas about discipline.

 

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by staceychev I know a lot of moms on MDC will disagree with me, but with my daughter at 3, I've been giving hybrid time-outs. I don't withhold love (got that from reading Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting), but I do (1) pick her up and remove her from the location (2) sit her on a specific chair, on the step or on the bed (3) get down on her level so that we're face-to-face (4) talk to her in very basic language about why I'm upset about what she did. I let her know constantly--"We don't hit in this family." That includes us, with spanking, but that also includes her. I think that at this age they get totally hyped up and have a hard time downgrading their energy. Most importantly--cross-post this on the gentle discipline board. There are a lot of wise mamas on that board who have really great ideas about discipline.

Yes. We are not really GD (and certainly not CL)-- but I don't spank.
My daughter is clever and has been testing boundaries a lot lately-- doing things she is not supposed to do (hitting the dog, spilling/eating dog food, touching the stove-- all things that could harm her) and looking teasingly back at us to see what we will do. We give her one warning and if she does it again we put her in "time out" (which is just the pak-and-play in the living room) for one minute after explaining "Mother told you not to hit the dog and you did it anyway; Mother is going to take you to time out for one minute because it is not nice to hit the dog" or something like that.
We use the pak-and-play because we do not want her to equate sitting still w/punishment (she is so young that she doesn't get the concept yet) and we never used the pak-and-play otherwise, so we don't mind if she equates *that* with discipline. For me, it's about separating her from the situation in which she is misbehaving.

 

[staceychev]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaterPrimaePuellae For me, it's about separating her from the situation in which she is misbehaving.

Totally! It's almost as if they get into a feedback loop and literally can't stop until they're removed from the situation.