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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Whenever my dh and I are physical, ie hug, kiss, hold hands, head on shoulder, sit next to eachother on the couch, etc, my 16 month old dd gets very upset. She whines and cries and runs over and tries to seperate us. When we hug she makes the all done sign to us. My dh jokes that she doesnt want him muscling in on her mommy
but honestly I am concerned. I dont know why physical shows of affection should upset her so. She is going through a major mommy only phase right now, but still...

Oh and no, she has never seen physical violence or anything that would make her upset to see us hugging.
 

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My mum always spoke of when my sister was a wee thing and she and dad were having a cuddle sis would always muscle in and have to be part of the hug too, I think it's pretty normal for some kids just to feel as if they are being left out of the family cell.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbee View Post
yup.. mine does the same thing. but, when we try to include him in a family hug, he pushes dh away from us. so, he's taken it a step further.
this sounds a bit like my girl. when we include her in the hug, she pushes us both away and wants down. I dont think its that she doesnt feel included, I think she doesnt want us to hug!
 

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My ds(14 mos.) will push dh away alot when doing group hugs too. sOMETIMES, I THINK IT HAS TO DO WTH DS NOT FEELING AFFECTIONATE SINCE IN THAT SAME MOMENT HE MIGHT NOT EVEN REALLY WANT ME TO SMOTHER HIM WITH KISSES OR A HUG...ALTHOUGH HE WOULD TOLERATE IT PROBABLY.
He will occasionaly not want dh and i to hug, but usually that's when he's in a more velcro mood AND I MAY NOT BE GIVING HIM THE ATTENTION HE IS DESIRING AT THE MOMENT...sINCE I'VE STOPPED TO GIVE PAPA A HUG OR FEED THE CAT,ETC.
 

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I think it is just a reflection of their bery 'me-centered' worlds at that age and although my son never did that, I saw it from literally dozens of other children we know. They grow out of it and frequent reminders helps! Even at 5 my son always comes up with something to try to break in whenever dh is giving me attention (not physical per se, just helping me at the computer or what not - anything that distracts him from giving ds ALL of his attention
)
 

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My 12 month old already does this to some extent. If I'm holding DS, DH is not "allowed" to hug me. DS will forcefully push him away. Repeatedly, if necessary.
He doesn't care if I hug DH while DH is holding him though.


I think it's just babe being very protective of mama.
 

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My 13 month old does this. Dh was rubbing my back on the bed yesterday and ds wanted up on the bed and immediately came over and sat on my back so dh couldn't get to me. Then he happily laid down between us. DD did it too at this age, I think it's just part of the "it's all about me" stage.
 

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my DS has done this from the age of 12 months or thereabouts. He is now 20 months old.

He is very vocal when DH and I hug/kiss each other. He has at times tried to separate us.

He doesn't mind us giving him hugs and kisses.

I think it is okay for us to show him affection but not to each other.

I've just accepted it as normal for him.
 

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My oldest dd did this. I remember in the car, when I would reach across and put my hand on dh's knee or neck while he drove, she would completely flip out. It was the same at home, but I remember it in the car particularly because it was so funny. She didn't want us to pay attention to her- she just didn't want us to pay attention to eachother.
She outgrew it. She's 6 now. She is very bossy, though, and tries to control everyone. I wonder if it's the same impulse rearing its head. I wonder whether it's just a temperamental thing.
 

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Ds, 11mos, does this too. If DH and I hug, he gets whiney. Same thing with if eithe rof my parents give me a hug, but even more so. It's like he is jealous or is protective of me - like he doesn't want anyone else all over me.
 

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My 12-month-old pushes dady away, cries, and says "bye bye" to him, while waving pitifully when he tries to hug us when I am holding her. She is in a serious mommy-only/separation anxiety stage. It actually makes us pretty miserable, so we hope it ends soon.
 
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