[EzzysMom]

I am not happy right now. I really feel like I need some space from my baby and to work on taking better care of myself but she's turned into a super-ball-of-neediness at the same time. I had thought she was getting a bit more independent but now it seems with her 1 year molars coming in she's insanely clingy. I can't even leave the room again now without her crying!

I'm so tired, her sleeping as always been bad, but she went back to hourly wakings. We've been giving her motrin now because I was just losing it, so she's back to 'only' waking 4 times a night. I tried napping with her right now (yes she's napping at 7am because she got up at 5am, ugh) but I'm just so frustrated I'm having trouble sleeping. I tried to move her bedtime back to 8pm instead of 7 so that she'd sleep past 5, but now she just keeps getting up at 5 anyway.

This week I joined a gym, with many hours of daycare coverage so I can wait until she's had her nap and been well fed to bring her there. The first day she made it about 45 minutes before they brought her to me screaming. I specifically told them to just bring her to me if she cries, well they waited 10 minutes trying to get her to calm down instead. She was boiling hot, eyes swollen and it took a lot of nursing to calm her down, I've never seen her so upset. I brought her back down to the room again later for some play time with me to make some happy time in the play room. Yesterday I tried again and she just cried chasing me out the door every time I tried to leave. We finally got her attention on the TV

: and I got a whopping 3.5 minutes on the elliptical machine before they brought her out crying (my message regarding not crying seems to have gotten through at least). She plays in the room independently just fine so long as I'm sitting on the floor.

I'm fat and tired. I need to exercise, she hates the stroller most of the time. How can I find a way to balance my needs and hers? She already naps and sleeps so little that my DH and I spend almost all of our non-job (baby is my job) doing laundry and prepping for the next day. We take an hour or so at night to be together, and I can't give that up.

 

[K&JsMaMa]

I know this age is very draining....just rest in knowing that it doesn't last forever (though it seems like it will)

 

[LadyCatherine185]

that sounds rough mama. i am also having a rough time with balance in my life.. it is really hard with a baby.

why not try wearing her and going for a walk together? that way she gets some fresh air, and you get some excerisize?

as far as her sleeping goes, does she have any possible allergies?

 

[Delicateflower]

Would it work for you all to go to the gym together and your husband to walk her outside in the sling while you exercise?

 

[chipper26]

I walk with dd in the Ergo or the Scootababy

I know how you feel and go through resentful stages and I get angry sometimes, usually when I can'y get her to nap. I hate, hate, hate feeling angry with my LO and I fight it everyday around afternoon nap time.

As far as the clinginess and a complete lack of freedom go, I've tried really hard to accept that this is just the way it is right now. About 6 weeks ago I was so frustrated and really getting resentful, so something had to change. Well, dd wasn't going to change, so..... I guess I had to. And I can't count on dh much because she isn't happy with him for long, it has to be mommy!

So I tell myself all the time: " It's a phase and it will go away soon enough (even though it may seem like AGES before she passes through it.) I keep reminding myself that there will come a day very soon when my sweet little one will not want as much cuddling and holding, then I'll miss it. I will want her to need me more. Also, this is a very short time in our lives that we have to deal with such high needs (what is a year or two, really, in the grand scheme of things?) I try to accept her as basically an appendage right now, she's attached to me so much!

So, most times when I tell myself this, it works; but sometimes I lose it and want to pull out my hair.

I take the time when I can get it (she'll play on the floor in her room while I put her clothes away or will play some on her own in the evening when dh gets home.) It's a daily struggle to stay sane!

 

[EzzysMom]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and encouragement.

Just wanted to reply a little. I had tried wearing her and walking, but I can't really get up to exercise speeds without hurting my back by the end of it. It's just sort awkward to have extra weight and it sends my body out of alignment. The stroller some too, but a bit less at least. I already send enough money to my chiropractor!

I am trying to focus on this being a phase for her, I had just forgotten that they get clingy again near the 12 month mark, she has been so indepdenent since she started walking away at 8 months. I agree that it's obviously me that has to change and shift my mindset. It's hard to do on so little sleep.

My mom went with me to the gym yesterday and played with her in the daycare room while I worked out, and even with grandma there DD was still nervous enough to need to nurse in the middle of my workout. I think I may just have to call it quits on the gym and just try to workout outside and more on the weekends when DH can spend some time with her.

Re: allergies. I've wondered because we do have them in my family. She's had consistent dry skin on her face which the doc always said was the cold air. It's not major peeling or anything, but it's a little something that's pretty much always been there. She had been waking up hourly for over a month, so I gave her a week-long break from her organic cheerios as it was one of the few foods she ate every day, and she started sleeping a bit better (at least some two hour breaks). We started the cheerios again last night, and low and behold she woke up every hour again from midnight on. So I may be onto something!

 

[jt'smum]

Nothing to add that hasn't been said...But I do understand...it really is just a phase..

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

I'm not a happy mama either. My baby is only 3 months old and I feel like I'm constantly tied to the house, can't go anywhere at all (he doesn't like our carriers b/c he's not big enough to straddle us, and I hate the stroller b/c its big and bulky and really annoying) and my boyfriend is in school full time so he's crazy busy.

I feel like leaving sometimes - I hate NYC with a passion and yet I'm stuck here for at least another year. Ugh....hopefully I can find something to do that I enjoy...

 

[accountclosed3]

i don't get to go to the gym either.

for me, i won't leave him in the child care because i just don't feel comfortable with it, and i just don't have the time nor does my husband or a sitter for me to have gym time. sad really.

so, i just walk slowly with the baby on me. when i try to walk at 'exercise speeds'--my pelvis hurts (front pubic bones) and may for DAYS. so, i have to go a slow pace, but i just walk good distances, and we have an good time together. at least i'm getting movement.

we just moved to the back carry, and that's helpful. my guy is light too. only 15 lbs still! (doc says he is perfectly healthy, just tall and skinny, and he's starting to get some baby pudge). but, yeah.

 

[LadyCatherine185]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EzzysMom Re: allergies. I've wondered because we do have them in my family. She's had consistent dry skin on her face which the doc always said was the cold air. It's not major peeling or anything, but it's a little something that's pretty much always been there. She had been waking up hourly for over a month, so I gave her a week-long break from her organic cheerios as it was one of the few foods she ate every day, and she started sleeping a bit better (at least some two hour breaks). We started the cheerios again last night, and low and behold she woke up every hour again from midnight on. So I may be onto something!

totally possible! my DS is allergic to wheat as well.. try cutting it out of yours and her diet and see if it helps! good luck mama!

ETA: you could take her to an allergist and have her tested. we did this for DS at 6 months, and I'm so glad we did! i would have never figured everything out until i did a total elimination diet.. and maybe even not then because his allergies are random and in things i would never think of!

 

[NicaG]

I totally hear where you're coming from (my ds would never consent to gym daycare and would cry so hard he threw up....so we stopped that after about 3 tries). I know other people have suggested walking with a carrier...I was just going to suggest wearing dd on your back (in an Ergo, for example). When I wear babies on my front, I feel hunched over and can't walk fast, but it works out much better when they're on my back. I can walk fast, and my posture is much better. Just a thought....good luck to you.

 

[morganlefay]

I don't have much advice, just

My DD is very similar. Regarding the stroller--have you tried one of those little cars with the push handle? DD doesn't like being strapped into her stroller, but her granny got her a little "car" and she loves being pushed in it-- she thinks she's driving.

 

[mom2ewc]

I just had my second, and I can sympathize with where you're at. For me, it was very important to find a way to work out... even if it was just a phase for my babe. I live in my body everyday, I want it to be strong and feel "right" to me. Exercising is one of the few things I can do for ME right now...

Other folks commented on the stroller walks, carrier walks, etc. So I won't echo those. But here's one thing that worked/works for me:

I TIVO the FitTV channel - they have every kind of workout imaginable... kickboxing, weights, yoga, belly dancing, etc. And the workouts are mostly 1/2 hour long (including commercials). So once my kids go down for their nap, I throw an episode on, fast forward through commercials, and I get at least a short intense workout done.

Some days I do two, if I need that extra bit of movement.

When my first son was younger, he would watch me in the swing. Once he started walking, I put him in the porta-crib where he could see me. And I "entertained" him by singing and doing silly stuff. I also had a personal trainer design a few moves that I could do with him ON me, since that's where he was most of the time. Now that he's 3, none of that works, but I simply turn the TV on as soon as he goes down for his nap/quiet time.

I actually got into pretty darn good shape using FitTV and walk/runs with the babe in the stroller. He didn't always love the stroller, but I simply had to get out there and move.

Hope this helps!