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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It really hurts when people cannot be happy for a friend or family member's pregnancy. I didn't get pregnant for them...it's true. But it still hurts. Espically when I'm feeling so rotten and trying my darnedest to keep it together.

I have 5 beautiful children and am, Thank G-d, pregnant again. I told my girlfriends at our "night out" last night and they were literally speechless. One refrained from comment as if she didn't hear me, until another friend said "did you hear that?" and she said "I heard it." And then nothing. Another friend said "I figured." And then "what are you thinking?! Well, you choose this...unless it was an accident, which I could understand."

Only 1 friend gave me a hug and said congratulations. Then she tried to encourage the other friend to say congratulations, and. Friend said "well, I guess, if that's what you REALLY want." And then proceeded to tell me how my next one up is just a baby and how my spacing was horrible (the babies will be 21 months apart!)

I was so so hurt.

Right now, I'm holding off on telling my family. I can't imagine they will have a kind word about it, and not only that but my sister has been struggling with infertility for years, and though I am actually helping her with this, for me to announce another pregnancy when she has been struggling so much...well, I'm certain there will be many nasty comments about my lack of tact in getting pregnant again...as if I'm stealing my sisters baby from some grand finite baby pool. :frown::crying:

Of course I'm praying for everyone who is ttc...but I feel like a special recipient of hate for having more than "my fair share" of babies. So, so sad and hurt.

In an ideal world my friends and family would say, wow, with 5 homeschooled kids at home, and with you having such difficult early pregnancies...how can we help? Can we make a meal? I mean, I have done this for them!

I know, I am just emotional and ranting. It's not a big deal. Just hurts right now.

Thanks for listening.
 
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I am currently pregnant with #5 . All boys as well as new baby. I often get the "still trying for that girl, huh?" My mom and I aren't close and I know without her saying that she's pretending to be happy but there are a lot of people in our inner circle that aren't nice about it. I had one acquaintance ask me if this one was planned. I asked her, why would she ask me that and she glibly said because I want to know and persisted and even asked me if I wouldn't say because I was embarassed. ( I already have four! Lol) I almost went off on her but, I remained calm. Exactly why I waited until I was 20 wks. to tell anyone. I basically only seek out those peop,e now who aren't going to ruin my day. I have so much to be thankful for and you do too.

People can be such jerks and only you can tell why your 'friend' would be so rude. As to your family and sister, it's so unfortunate that she has not been able to concieve when she wants a baby soo much. Equally sad that you could be punished in a way because you want a large family and have no trouble with getting pregnant.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks all. Yeah, I probably need to focus energies on other friends. Thank you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Intime0, I so want to click on your blog...but there is no link! :)
 

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Congratulations!

I only have one kid but I am the youngest of five. Large families do seem to provoke people into saying the stupidest and most insulting things possible. My mom told me how people said: "Five? Yuk, that is too many." sometimes when she said how many children she had. (She often answered back "Perhaps so, but which one do you suggest I kill to have a more acceptable number?")

Try to own your choices and not care what they say, having 6 kids is not for everyone but clearly it is something you and your husband want.

Also, the thing with asking if children are planned, it seems to be "just making conversation" to some people, I don't know how many asked me when I was pregnant.
 
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