[Anne2008]

I don't want to use condoms, as they never felt good in the past, and im not sure if Im allergic to them as I remember feeling itchy afterwards. Either way, I really dont like the idea of condoms being "in there". Anyone else feel that way about condoms?

So which form of birth control would be a good idea instead? Im thinking the contraceptive pill. Any advice?

 

[flapjack]

Condoms, at least until there is a significant commitment in place and you've both been tested. You can't afford to pick up STDs, as some of them are impossible to get rid of. Look for something without spermicide and latex-free.

eta: I realise this isn't the advice you were looking for, but it's the advice I'd give my best friend or my daughter. Don't mess about with your health, some things are too important to gamble.

 

[CanidFL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by flapjack Condoms, at least until there is a significant commitment in place and you've both been tested. You can't afford to pick up STDs, as some of them are impossible to get rid of. Look for something without spermicide and latex-free. eta: I realise this isn't the advice you were looking for, but it's the advice I'd give my best friend or my daughter. Don't mess about with your health, some things are too important to gamble.

I will agree with this. By the sound of the title, it seems like you might be dating someone new? You must protect yourself from disease. It's so important to look out for you own health. I would use condoms with a new partner for a good 6-8 months and then get tested before ditching them. That way if either of you have anything, it will show up by that time (I'm thinking HIV mainly).

Try to use the really thin condoms for more pleasure. You can also get them spermicide free which could be causing the itching.

After you are confident each is disease free and you are ready to move to a different form of BC, check out copper IUD's and FAM. They are both hormone free and pretty reliable. The pill is also an option but it does contain hormones which can really affect some women mentally and emotionally. Try a low dose if you go that route and if you feel off at all then I would not continue.

Good for you to ask this question and really think about birth control options before you are in a sexual relationship

ETA: Don't use lambskin condoms for protection against STD's. They are not effective.

 

[Anne2008]

Thanks I haven't given much thought to STD's just yet. We've only been dating 4 weeks, and things seem to have slowed down between us lately, so this could all be for nothing.

As far as STD's go, I always knew If I ever got into a relationship again, I would want him (or both of us, I don't mind if he asks me to aswell), to be tested BEFORE we sleep together. Is this reasonable? I don't want to risk HIV, but I don't know how to bring up the subject to him, any ideas? I remember being tested for some STDs when I was pregnant, as routine tests using a blood test, is it a blood test for men too? If it is, then I don't see why he would have a problem doing it.

 

[CanidFL]

I think it's so common now that I would not hesitate. I brought it up with my DH when we were dating.

Just keep it light and say something like "I am really looking forward to being intimate with you (word it however you feel comfy) but would you mind if we got tested for STD's beforehand? We can go to this clinic together if you want." See how he reacts. Honestly, if he is totally 100% against it and very offended than you probably don't want to be with him! I don't see the problem with being upfront and honest and someone who would refuse this seems to me like they would be hiding something.

There are lots of family planning clinics that will do this testing. Just contact one before hand so you know the ins and outs when you bring it up in case he has questions.

 

[Mosaic]

BTW, the female condom is not latex, though I've heard so-so stories about ease of use, just fyi. Also keep in mind to ask specifically for tests for HIV and HSV, as those are not always included in general STD screenings. And yes, those are blood tests as well.

Honestly, I was always very upfront and nonapologetic when asking about sexual history (and I ask a LOT of questions. Lots.) and insisting on screenings, and no one ever got freaked out about it.

 

[sbilady]

I like the 6-8 month suggestion, because getting an HIV test now doesn't mean he wasn't recently exposed, thus it wouldn't show up on a test. Also, don't forget about herpes! Condoms do not prevent getting exposed to this.

 

[asoulunbound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanidFL Honestly, if he is totally 100% against it and very offended than you probably don't want to be with him! I don't see the problem with being upfront and honest and someone who would refuse this seems to me like they would be hiding something.

I totally agree. I was nervous when I was dating DP for various reasons, mainly because about 6 mths prior I was supposed to be marrying someone else, and DP was a "blind" date (I had met him bc he worked with a friend but we didn't hang out or anything). Anyway, we talked about a lot of things first date- even testing. Which is really weird since I'm super private- shy?- about sexual matters. I just remember talking about how long we'd both single, and I told him since ex-dp wasn't faithful I had been tested, and he said he was clean. I told him then you'll have no problem going again since you know the results!

Part of the reason I'm marrying DP in a few months is because I trust him and feel comfortable talking to him about things. I know you may or may not end up marrying the person you're currently dating, but I thought you might want to hear my experience.

Don't you love how MDC is such a safe place to ask questions? I feel like it's like asking a cool older sister.

 

[kriket]

I'm the obligatory "don't have sex with people that you don't want to make babies with" voice

But realistically? Condoms are where its at. They are cheap, effective, easy to get and use. If you are on the pill what if you stay over at his house and forget them? If you are on any hormone, what if it messes with your cycle. (like it did mine?

and I agree with PPs if he won't get tested for you (and you for him) then its not worth your time.

Good luck!