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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm really bummed out. Maybe it's just cuz I'm pre-menstrual this week, but nursing has been driving me bananas lately. Dd is 18.5 mos., and I never thought I'd want to wean at this age, but I really don't like nursing right now.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
Every time we sit down to nurse, I get the heebie-jeebies, fingernails on the chalkboard feeling. I can't stand how it feels on my nipple. It tickles, and often it just plain hurts. I have to grit my teeth and to make it through. Sometimes I have to squeeze my breast just to override the sensation of her sucking. I know that can't be good. She only nurses a few times a day, and sleeps 8 hours most nights, but even that seems too often. I feel resentful of it way more than I'd like. And it doesn't even always put her to sleep like it used to. That was always one of the biggest benefits to me - a peaceful, gentle bedtime. I can put up with a lot of heebie-jeebies for that! But now we have fussy thrashing-around bedtimes and missed naptimes........<br><br>
I'm not sure what to do. I've always felt that nursing is a realtionship that has to work for both of us, and it's not working for me right now. But I can't say that I want to wean either. The times when I have had to refuse her when she wants to nurse have not been good for her.<br><br>
Anybody been through this?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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(((HUGS))) rda! I could have written your post myself! I don't have any advice, but I wanted you to know you are not alone! My ds just turned 18 months, so we're in prety much the same situation!<br><br>
For me though, I think a big part of it is that I'm newly pregnant (11 weeks) and the hormones/breast tenderness is all contributing to my irritation, but even before I was pg, I was having some of the same feelings of frustration/irritation.<br><br>
"Fingernails-on-the-chalkboard" is exactly how I describe my feeling when ds wants to comfort-nurse, especially when he goes into that flutter-sucking thing....that used to be so sweet (when he was tiny!) and now it drives me batty!<br><br>
I have never been a "breast" person....don't really enjoy having dh fondle my breasts (just leave 'em alone, already!!) and I've never gotten a physical sense of enjoyment from nursing, the way some people say they do. I don' t know if that has anything to do with it or not...<br><br>
For several weeks I've been having to literally press my fingernails into the underside of my breast while he nurses (or else I bite the inside of my cheek--a couple times, I drew blood!), just to have something besides the sensation of sucking to concentrate on. And I've been cutting his nursing short, which makes me feel guilty....and I know that he can probably sense my irritation, which confuses him and isn't fair (because he's not doing anything wrong!) and that makes me feel even worse, but I can't help it!<br><br>
So, what to do......I dunno!<br><br>
It did help me that I was able to completely night-wean about 5 months ago. It was fairly painless, too. I started out by keeping a sippy cup of water by the bed, and when he woke, I'd offer him a drink, then try to love him back to sleep without nursing (rubbing his back, etc). If he fussed more than a few seconds, I'd nurse, but after that first couple weeks, he's only nursed a couple times (once when we were away from home and he was out of his element, once when he was sick) at night. But you said that night isn't usually a problem, so this probably won't make any difference to you.<br><br>
The other thing that's been helping me deal with it lately is this: I nurse him on one breast until I can't stand it anymore, then switch breasts and do it again. I might switch 3 or 4 times before he's satisfied and ready to go play (This has the added benefit of keeping my supply up, since I've already noticed a bit of a drop, even this early in pg!).<br><br>
Also, if I've just nursed him (like, in the last hour) and he asks, I'll gently tease him "You just HAD milk! Would you like a snack?" This often works, and we'll share an apple and a piece of cheese. Or I'll distract him with going outside, or blowing soap bubbles, or something....often, he seems to want my absolute, total attention more than he really wants to nurse.<br><br>
If the distraction or snack doesn't work, and he insists on nursing (but I'm fairly sure that he isn't hungry) then I will tell him "Okay, you can have milk, but only for 10 seconds, okay? Then it will be time to stop." Then I will very slowly count for him (he gets more like a minute, but he doesn't know that....he hears me counting and knows when I stop he needs to stop, too) and when I reach 10, I tell him "That's enough for now. You can have more milk later." Sometimes it works and he's fine; other times he is NOT HAPPY and we sometimes renegotiate.<br><br>
But overall, it does seem to be helping. I hope that maybe some of this is helpful to you.....at the very least, at least know that you aren't alone! I totally understand what you are going through! I hope you figure out a way to cope that gives both of you peace and comfort about it! God bless!<br><br>
XO,<br><br>
Sarah<br>
ds Elisha, 02/28/02
 

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PS.....I forgot to mention that even before I found out I was pregnant, I noticed a correlation with the way I was feeling about nursing and my moon time.<br><br>
I would feel actual pain from nursing on the days I was ovulating, and then just before and during my period, I would feel supersensitive and heebie-jeebie (but not really in pain). I definitely think that hormones have a LOT to do with it.<br><br>
Is there a chance that you could be pregnant again?<br><br>
xo, (and more hugs!)<br><br>
Sarah
 

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i've been there too! i think most of us have.<br>
what i've done is to set a small goal of say, another month, or until those 2 teeth finally arrive, or whatever, and then when we get there, if i still feel like weaning go ahead with it. but every time, my feelings have changed and whatever was making me crazy is gone.<br>
i'm pg now, and we are working on nightweaning. she's up to 7.5 hours without nursing, which is nice. it's taken us 2-3 weeks to get there though. i'd like her to go 9 hours, especially since latching on is not a lot of fun right now. i have to think of a yoga pose and breathe through it!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Maybe it's just cuz I'm pre-menstrual this week, but nursing has been driving me bananas lately.....<br>
Every time we sit down to nurse, I get the heebie-jeebies...</td>
</tr></table></div>
This used to happen to me when I was nursing a toddler, after my period came back. When it was a few days before my period I didn't want anyone to touch me let alone NURSE. It always passed, for me, after I got my period....
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you all for your replies. I think it's worse right now cuz of my period, but really, it's been this way for a while, and seems to be getting worse. I'll try the idea of setting a little goal, to see if it gets better after a couple weeks or a month. (I really don't think I could be pregnant. For several reasons I won't go into here, there's been no action between dh and I since a day after my last period.) I know my supply is minimal, I never feel full, even when she goes all night or day w/o nursing. Nursing on an empty feeling breast just makes it worse.<br><br><br>
I think writing it all out has clarified things for me, and what's really bothering me is that I am feeling like I'm just not physically cut out for EB. It just doesn't feel right physically, even though intellectually and emotionally I want to continue. It makes me wonder what my body is trying to tell me. I've always tried to trust my instincts and listen to my body, but this is really confusing when I look at it that way.
 
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