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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, here's the problem. I just had my 24 wk appt and once again left the office feeling very unhappy with my ob. Now I'm not the type of person that calls with incessant questions, however, i am the type that expects my questions to be addressed professionally and thoroughly while I'm sitting in his office.<br><br>
Today I had 3 questions, 1 about the Single Umbilical Artery, 1 about the fetal echo they want me to go for and 1 about how I'm feeling. I do NOT feel that those are unreasonable, nor do I feel that they needed to be answered while he was halfway out the door on his way to his next patient.<br><br>
I'm getting the feeling that his feelings trump mine and I don't like it. I have a call into the Midwife Center at the hospital I want to use and am hoping to get an appt to talk to someone there or tour next Tuesday when I'm there for the echo.<br><br>
I'm just feeling really frustrated. I feel that I spent a whole lot more time with him during 1 regular gyn appt than I have through 6 months of OB appts.
 

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It is not too late to change care providers. You are paying them, you have every right to not feel happy with that level of "care".<br><br>
~heather
 

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You can call and request an appointment simply to discuss the level of care you're receiving. No vitals, no exam, just talk. Might work, might not.<br><br>
I had an infertility specialist who had attitude issues. We did the "level of care" consult when we had a major run-in with his nurse. Every visit after that he made sure to ask whether we were happy with his nurse. He himself was still a jerk, and we ended up discontinuing care from him as soon as we could, but I have hope maybe his nurse got straightened out a bit.
 

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I'm sorry! I feel like my OB is not treating the single umbilical artery with enough concern, and that he sloughs off my questions. I, like you, do not call between appts, I just take a list of questions to my appt. Since each appt has had an ultrasound so far, we meet in his office. I told him I was worried since we have not seen the heart chambers on ultrasound, and heart defects are a concern with the SUA...he sort of giggled at me (like silly momma) and said he saw no markers for concern in any tests or earlier ultrasounds, and that we would keep trying to see it. I asked about a fetal echo and he said not yet, they would try one more time and then if they couldn't see it I would be sent to the hospital to see if they could see it...<br><br>
Do you mind sharing why yours is sending you for a fetal echo? It probably is standard practice with SUA, at least what I read it is...<br><br>
Is it alone or in a practice? Maybe you could try another doctor in the practice?
 

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I'm glad you're looking into changing care providers. I can't imagine dealing with someone so impatient at appointments. I love the full hour I get at each midwife visit.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
They are sending me because they couldn't see all 4 chambers at once. I however also got the feeling that it wasn't something he would have reccommended. Almost as if he didn't really trust the dr in his practice who actually read the u/s reports and told me they would schedule it.<br><br>
I'm actually starting to get the idea stragely enough that he has an issue w/ women. He seemed really angry that the CNW had mentioned possibly having monthly u/s and a stress test at the end. He made a comment about her not being the one to deliver me. Then he seemed cranky that the female ob had said to go for the echo. He seemed to believe that because he sees 4-5 SUA cases a year and had never had a problem yet then why should I think I would.<br><br>
This attitude while reassuring to my MIL and to my DH is maddening to me. beacause where is it written that this shouldn't be taken cautiously IN CASE there is a problem, not since there never is in his experience...
 

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Switch now. I waited w/ my first ds to switch until I was like 32 weeks pregnant, and I should have switched much much sooner. I probably would have had a c-sec w/ my first doc b/c he didn't let women push more than an hour and it took me 2.5 to push ds1 out. Liking and trusting you care provider during pregnancy is SOOO important. I think too little emphasis is placed on feeling comfortable w/ the people around you during labor.<br><br>
W/ my 2nd ds, I also wasn't happy w/ my OB, and I didn't switch. I really wish I had. I wasn't comfortable w/ eithe rof the docs and my labor stopped when I was 9cm and I ended up w/ all kinds of interventions (well, just a bunch of drugs and an episiotomy, but it was FAR from the calm empowering births I had w/ ds1 and ds3.) I had WANTED a homebirth with ds2, but was unable to find the midwives (they're undergound here, very well trained, but harassed by the medical community.) I found out that there were in fact mw's here 2 weeks before I gave birth to ds2. I wish I had tried to switch that late. I just figured it was too late, oh well. It's never too late to switch care providers if you are unhappy w/ your current one.
 

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I agree with change now. If the OB doesn't have respect for you asking questions now, it isn't going to get any better at the birth. Part of the whole problem with doctors and birth is taking away power from women. Don't let it start now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for the advice ladies. Next Tuesday when I go to my hospital I am meeting with the nurse from the midwife center, and any MW's that are available. Just in talking to her over the phone I felt much more at ease with the way they do things. I'm looking forward to the meeting and probably making the change then <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Id definitely look into switching CPs.. If he is blowing off your questions now then chances are your labour wishes will be blew off too.
 

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<span>...he sort of giggled at me (like silly momma) and said he saw no markers for concern in any tests or earlier ultrasounds,</span><br><br><span style="color:#000000;">That right there is reason enough to seek other care providers. I went with a midwife who I felt took me seriously as a human being, a mother, and a person of reasonable intellectual capacity. I was condescended to by my OB last time I gave birth and I didn't want a repeat performance...</span><br><br>
I hope you have good luck finding someone you like.<br><br>
-Xen
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>newmommy7-08</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10785164"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm getting the feeling that his feelings trump mine and I don't like it.</div>
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his FEELINGS should have <i>nothing</i> to do with the sort of care he provides for you and your unborn child. if you do some more looking around, i bet you'll find a provider that gives you the unbiased and COMPLETE care you and your child DESERVE. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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That was one of the big reasons I hated seeing an OB. They give you 5 minutes of their time while taking an hour of yours and $150. Seems utterly ridiculous!
 

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exactly! it's such a pet peeve of mine when medical professionals will cancel your appt for being 5 min late, but when do you ever spend less than 30min in the waiting room (waiting for them)? so frustrating!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I've been doing more and more thinking, I've talked it over w/ DH and w/ one of my aunts. I feel very positive about this midwife practice I'm visiting in a week. What's nice is that they are going to give me the birth experience that I want... no IV unless antibiotics are necessary, wireless fetal monitoring so i have full movement if necessary, and they work hand in hand w/ the best baby docs in the city so if I would need a dr for some reason during delivery there is one right there ready to step in w/o having to rely on a resident.
 

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newmommy,<br><br>
I had a similar experience with my second delivery, though it was with a MW. Although she was a MW, she was part of an OB group and seemed more like she was there for marketing, as she followed OB protocol more than what you would expect with a MW.<br><br>
Even though I was having my second child, had no complications, and was pretty comfortable with pregnancy and delivery in general, she handled each of my questions (which were very few) with the same response of, "Let's deal with that if it actually becomes an issue," or "Let's deal with that when we get closer to that time frame."<br><br>
I was shocked when she felt it was way too early to discuss my birth plan when I was approaching 37 weeks pregnant!<br>
Also, even though I had sucessfully managed GD by diet with my first child, she watched my numbers like a hawk, and freaked out when I had one reading at 120 after I had pizza.<br><br>
The delivery went well, except for when she MADE me change out of my hospital gown after my water broke DURING contractions as I was getting into position to push because she said that, "I like my patients to be clean." SHEEESH!<br><br>
Anyway, it was overall ok, but I really wish I had listened to my feelings more and changed providers. I felt stuck because I knew no other MWs and had searched for her for a long time. I would have preferred to be with an OB who listened rather than a MW who treated me the way your OB treated you.<br><br>
I hate the "silly new momma" feeling. Believe me, it feels even worse during delivery!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>newmommy7-08</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10799038"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've been doing more and more thinking, I've talked it over w/ DH and w/ one of my aunts. I feel very positive about this midwife practice I'm visiting in a week. What's nice is that they are going to give me the birth experience that I want... no IV unless antibiotics are necessary, wireless fetal monitoring so i have full movement if necessary, and they work hand in hand w/ the best baby docs in the city so if I would need a dr for some reason during delivery there is one right there ready to step in w/o having to rely on a resident.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> that sounds wonderful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> so glad you're feeling good about them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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