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My 2.5 yo loves to nurse. She'd do it all day if I let her but I don't. I keep her to once or twice a day because I'm also still nursing my 1yo. Anyway, my older DD is very demanding and wanted to nurse yesterday. I was busy trying to calm down the baby who had fallen and bumped her head so I told my older DD that we couldn't do it right now. She got more and more frustrated and finally came up and bit my breast really hard. She's never done anything like that before. I don't know what to do. Part of me feels like it's time to wean. I haven't let her nurse since then but am really torn.<br><br>
I don't mind nursing her but it drives me banannas to have her ask me for it 100 times a day. The other day at my nephews ball game she was very loudly asking for boobie while sticking her hand down my shirt which was uncomfortable and embarassing to me and those around me. I try distractions etc... but nothing works. She wants what she wants when she wants it. Ugggg! Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 

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In my experience, when the child is feeling the most insecure about something-in this case the availability of nursing, which is obviously important to her--that is when she will fight the hardest to get it, will ask more often for it, etc.<br><br>
I noticed this with DS when he was a bit older than your daughter. I've noticed it a little with DD, though not as much since I learned how it works with DS...<br><br>
When I was able to let go my wish for control and let him nurse when he asked, when I offered as soon as I was done with whatever had caused me to tell him to wait, I noticed that then he asked less often. In other words, when I relaxed into his needs, he could relax too, and those needs lowered.<br><br>
All I can chalk it up to is that he learned, relearned?, that he could trust me and that onnee wasn't going to be taken away.<br><br>
FWIW<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I reread your post, and what I am seeing is a child who feels (whether legitimately or not) that she is not getting the attention she wants. This is difficult. Are you setting aside time to just be with her, do things with her, even if just talking while folding laundry? Is nursing the only way she thinks she can get your undivided attention? I've fallen into that trap many a time, with DD especially. The reflex to lift shirt is a tough one to break for me. The reflex to ask for nursing, DD is still occasionally does. I need to hear what it is she's really asking for.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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It does sound like it's time to start setting some limits. Once my dd got to a certain age I wasn't comfortable nursing her in public anymore. I started making it an "at home" thing. She's almost 3 1/2 now and when she has asked to nurse in public (which we call Mai Mai so I don't feel on the spot <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) I say, "Ok, you can have Mai Mai when we get home. You can even do this at home, saying "You can have nursies (or whatever she calls it) as soon as I'm done doing _______." But then make sure to follow up even if she forgets. As soon as you're done doing ______ then tell her it's time to nurse and thank her for waiting so nicely, etc.<br><br>
It is normal for 2 year olds to nurse a lot. I don't know if that helps but just thought I'd add that. Sometimes it's good to know it's not just you, kwim? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Also, do you ever nurse them at the same time? Sometimes I feel it helps w/jealously and things like that for my nurslings to nurse together as well as having their alone nursing time w/me. The together nursing actually saves a lot of time too! (two birds w/one stone...well that doesn't really fit but ykwim):LOL<br><br>
I would recommend reading "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler." It does sound like she still needs the nursing a lot. It also sounds like you're ready to set some limits. I also agree w/a PP who said to try to make an effort to give her some extra attention in other ways too (reading a book, running an errand just the two of you, etc.).<br><br>
I hope things improve for you soon.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Things will get better <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
I would say, no, not time to wean but that is up to you and ok to do if you need to.<br><br>
Some ideas that worked for me<br><br>
-maybe decide that you are going to say yes every time she asks (maybe limit it to 5 minutes or 2 minutes each nursing and set the timer or count if it helps you to cope) she might have to wait a few minutes if you are busy with the baby but it's differnt than 'no'<br><br>
-maybe have something special for when you are out and she's asking for 'boobie' and you need a quick fix - a little box of fruit juice, a tiny bag of potato chips or a special cookie<br>
I've found that a store bought wrapper with some sort of food item goes a long way. Maybe Trader Joes or a health food shop type place would have some healthy tings like that ( I live in NZ so not sure what's available where you are)<br><br>
If you explain that you're not doing 'boobie' right now and will do it at home but here is a drink and something to eat and I can cuddle you. And then when you get home nurse her, even if she forgets. Say something like you wanted to nurse when we were out and I promised you could when we got home so let me set the timer for 5 minutes and we'll have boobie.<br><br>
My dd is 3 now and ds is 1. I am often telling her these days that I'm not doing nummies for big girls right now but I will at bedtime or when the sun comes up and that usually is fine for her. Sometimes she fusses and I remember my friend that reminded me that it is ok to say 'no'.<br><br><br>
It can be so hard especially when you have two to look after.<br><br>
Wendy
 
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