What you guys have been through (and are going through) are SO STRESSFUL it'd be amazing if you guys weren't having problems. Pregnancy, birth, moving, new job, job loss, cps, all those things are HUGE HUGE HUGE stresses (even the positive events like pregnancy).
Your dh does sound like he's depressed. I'd talk to him about it, not now but once you guys are settled in your new place.
You sound alot like me, you hate being in limbo and hate the unknown. So, here's some advice, I hope it helps:
Concentrate on the things you "know". You know you are moving. So pack! It doesn't matter that you don't have a place yet, since you are moving, pack. Your dh has a job. Maybe not an ideal job, but a job. So, that's a step. Dh has a job. You are moving. You can pack and learn more info about the cities you are looking at moving to. Packing is something solid and proactive; researching apartments and areas is another proactive step. Next, once you have an address, or at least an area narrowed down, go online and get the info for their local WIC and state health care/welfare/food stamp info. See if you qualify (I'm sure you will). Print out all the address and phone numbers so as soon as you move (or even before, as long as you have a local addy and phone number) you can get in there and get some financial help. This will defininately help you relax a bit
I don't have much advice on actual relationship issues; what I can say (having been in similar situations before) is that since you guys are in such limbo in other areas, put the problems and issues aside and just focus on being united and getting set up. Does that make sense? Don't ignore obvious things, but just focus on the positives and being supportive and settling in.
Having been isolated for two years when we lived in IL, and having no friends, and "walking around the mall" being a major event and treat, I've SO btdt! Our relationship situation was different, but my overall feelings were similar to yours. What it took for me to be happy was moving out of that place (I hated it there so much), to an area I wanted to be in; getting rid of debt and lifestlye choices that were contrary to what I believed in (living above our means mostly); and starting to go out of the house every day
Even in IL, if I left the house each day I did feel slightly better. It is so hard to do sometimes, but make yourself do it; even if it's just to walk down the street. You'll all feel better. When you move, go out every day! Say "hi" to neighbors, smile and say hi to strangers at the store and park, you'll meet people that way! I have
I find that even having a one minute exchange about the weather with another adult makes me feel happy; does that even make any sense or do I sound like a lunatic? Anyway, feel free to pm me anytime
Kristi