[speedmum]

Hello mums

I live in Dubai and currently resorting to sleep training my 9 month old and its increasing my anxiety and brining out a flood of repressed emotions of depression
My son is my second child and having a 7 year old girl I'm finding everything hard to get used t although I intend to give myself time to accept the new dynamics
My dad was diagnosed with cancer in January last year after he had a heart attack soon after I found out I was pregnant with my son in August 2014

I've not been able to support him or justify my pregnancy happiness after learning about him

My parents are alone without their three kids getting his treatment course sorted

I fee horrible and depressed knowing not financial independent to support them or physically be present

It's been a long time since I've know but I can't get over it knowing how each day is passing by

I'm not able to get any skew be issue my son wakes up a lot and then when I get awaken I am wired and thinking depressive thoughts about dad

I'm feeling stuck and lost unable to enjoy my children

My daughter is acting out of lack of attention and I'm getting consistently rude with her

I hope I'm not acting spoilt but how do I better this and give myself tough love?

 

[lauren]

My heart is crying for you with all that you have going on. Oh please be gentle with yourself. This is such tough stuff you are dealing with. How is your real life support system? Is there someone you can count on to go over all these things with you and talk it out?

I don't know what your daytime situation is but I wondered if instead of sleep training, which you seem to feel bad about, if it is possible to nap with your baby during the day (assuming your 7 yr old is at school?)

Can you look into a support group for caregivers of cancer survivors--perhaps there is one at the treating hospital?

Have you had a thorough check up lately? Sometimes imbalances, such as with thyroid, can really affect our mood and our resilience.

Whew, I wish I had more suggestions. Are you eating well? Do you have a friend whose shoulder you can cry on?

 

[speedmum]

My heart is crying for you with all that you have going on. Oh please be gentle with yourself. This is such tough stuff you are dealing with. How is your real life support system? Is there someone you can count on to go over all these things with you and talk it out?

I don't know what your daytime situation is but I wondered if instead of sleep training, which you seem to feel bad about, if it is possible to nap with your baby during the day (assuming your 7 yr old is at school?)

Can you look into a support group for caregivers of cancer survivors--perhaps there is one at the treating hospital?

Have you had a thorough check up lately? Sometimes imbalances, such as with thyroid, can really affect our mood and our resilience.

Whew, I wish I had more suggestions. Are you eating well? Do you have a friend whose shoulder you can cry on?

Thank you you are so kind. I am feeling very imbalanced so I'll be seeing a psychologist on Saturday .
My GP checked for thyroid iron b12 and vitamin D
Except for Vitamin D all are in the normal range.

I've been self medicating and impulsively eating sweet to calm my nerves and realizing that it's my old old habit to use sweets and numb my tension or anxiety.

I'm
Mid way through sleep training but my sweet parents have decided to fly in and stay with us for sometime which means sleep training down the drain a bit
I
Ambivalent about their coming because

As I'm
Excited about seeing them I'm worried about how my husband and I have been losing privacy each time and my kids have no structure as their room goes to grandparents automatically
We end up being packed like sardines 4 people in a room
I love my dear sweet parents but it's like them going through what they are no one in our house will ever have the heart and mind to say no to them despite suppressing our own feelings. If it were a once a year situation of be ok not when wthry come and stay indefinitely for up to 3 months. In anycase I guess I make peace with the fact that my dad is here and I'll get to see him soon and make more memories .
I just wish I had a better grip on my emotions
Not particularly feeling emotionally intelligent or tuned into higher faith. I need that.

 

[StephenStevens]

Thank you you are so kind. I am feeling very imbalanced so I'll be seeing a psychologist on Saturday .
My GP checked for thyroid iron b12 and vitamin D
Except for Vitamin D all are in the normal range.

I've been self medicating and impulsively eating sweet to calm my nerves and realizing that it's my old old habit to use sweets and numb my tension or anxiety.

I'm
Mid way through sleep training but my sweet parents have decided to fly in and stay with us for sometime which means sleep training down the drain a bit
I
Ambivalent about their coming because

As I'm
Excited about seeing them I'm worried about how my husband and I have been losing privacy each time and my kids have no structure as their room goes to grandparents automatically
We end up being packed like sardines 4 people in a room
I love my dear sweet parents but it's like them going through what they are no one in our house will ever have the heart and mind to say no to them despite suppressing our own feelings. If it were a once a year situation of be ok not when wthry come and stay indefinitely for up to 3 months. In anycase I guess I make peace with the fact that my dad is here and I'll get to see him soon and make more memories .
I just wish I had a better grip on my emotions
Not particularly feeling emotionally intelligent or tuned into higher faith. I need that.

From my brief experience, Dubai is pretty harsh for families. Everything is oriented towards making profits while social component is neglected. Among other, this may also impact your relationships within the family. I am so sorry to hear about your father. My father passed away number of years ago and it still hurts. It will be very hard, but try to stay positive during this period. To be supermom for your kids and kind towards your father. Things will only get better in time.