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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
HI, I am rebuilding my life after a divorce and would really liek to have a baby or more as well... BUT I am not yet TTC as I have not found a new DH. Not in a rush, but in a rush as I"m 40, eh?<br>
I also am self employed with a job that I travel alot for. I absolutely love what I do and would love to take my future baby/ies with me on the road as I go. Would also love to stick to the organic/wholistic way of raising it/them and do homeschooling, AP and all those other really cool things I read about ..reality check ?<br>
How much can on do " on the road". How much "work" is a baby REALLY!?! I have people in my life who encourage me and say if I'm ok with my lifestyle and travelling, my child will be too. Then I have others in my life who are filled with fear who seem almost terrified at the thoguh of me doing this.. what if the child has special needs, allergies, is hypersensitive, and what about myt needs, etc...etc.. while I don't plan on ignoring any of this stuff... I have learned how to take care of myelf on the road and that most people in this world are good no matter the culture... that being said I am not naive and ignnorant as I go along either. I hope to be able to travel with a nanny so that when I'm in "work" someone can watch over my precious ones. What is reality.... what can possibly be so difficult? I think I can do it but I am not there yet and don't yet have a support team for that in line, and not sure where to find that, etc.. I'm just at the beginning but this is my dream and I know I need to plan and research and prepare as much as possible...and so I am looking to talk wtih other travelling self employed type moms who can give me their experience, strnegths and hopes and knowledge and wisdom annd ideas etc... romt eh very simple (such as how to start planning it into the calendar realistically.. what if I get morning sickness., etc... ) to the very extravagant...<br><br>
Thanks
 

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Well, I think you can do anything you put your mind to. And your right, planning and imagining what it will be like are very good ideas. I think you will need some flexibility though, things come up with children that are just a priority over job duties at times, yk? But you may have that flexibility if you are self-employed. I would say that you should plan on a few months at least to do nothing but have your baby, bond, nurse, and sleep, before you hit the road. Ideally, it sounds like it would be best to find a partner that might travel with you and be the caregiver when you are busy working? I think it would be hard to find a nanny that would travel, but you never know. I don't have direct experience with this myself. I went on one business trip at 6 weeks pregnant, I had just found out I was pregnant the week before, and I spent half the night with a migraine and vomiting and slept through the training I was supposed to attend the next day. So maybe I am not much help...
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi, Thanks for the feedback. goodto know a few months to take off afterwards, eh?! jeesh! THanks tons! I had no idea!<br><br>
I am supposed to be travelling full time for about a year almost..and so how to plan for that? I think I'll have to time this baby thing a little differently.. how much time before the baby is due would you take time off? I am self employed but need to schedule carefully here. I do have to keep working an dlooking my best, eh? hmm.....<br>
Yeah, I agree would be perfect to have a partner travel with me... That wou dlbe optimall... not sure i that is realistic rihg tnow. but keeping my fingers crossed on that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
HOw much stuff is realistic to expect to carry with me? I have a own luggage and equipment and airlines for international flights allow 2 bags to check and 1 or 2 to take on. how does baby and stuff fit in there? DO they make allowances for babies and their stuff? or does that fall under part of moms stuff?<br><br>
Are there helpful services/(free preferably) at airpost and trainsin Europe and thestates that help with people n eeding to move luggage and a baby?<br><br>
How about can you breast feed in public in Europe? Iknow the US is a little queasy about it for alot of people, anythign illegal about it in EU?<br><br>
so , a few months after the baby i can travel again? how does feedgins work if I'll be breast feeding? realistic to expect to be able to stand and present to people without becoming a mess and melting?<br><br>
realistic energy check?<br><br>
Thanks
 

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Honestly, there is no way to predict what an individual mother and individual baby will be up for! You may breeze thru everything and have a calm, adaptable, predictable baby who just loves travel...or you may be sick as a dog for the entire pregnancy, have birth complications that lay you low for months, and have a clingy, needy baby. The best advice I can give you is: Don't make too many firm plans.<br><br>
If you didn't realize you'd need a few months off work after the birth, you must not know much about birth and babies. While you're waiting for the father of your child to come into your life, it's a perfect time to read the I'm Pregnant and Life With a Babe forums of these boards to learn more about the range of experiences ahead of you! Also read some library books about pregnancy and baby care.<br><br>
Whether you can mother the way you want to while maintaining your career depends on the specific demands of the career. If you work 12-hour days all the time, probably not...but if you tend to work a 12-hour day followed by a day off, that could work. If your career centers around making public appearances, it will be more difficult than if most of it is stuff you can do at flexible times.<br><br>
Morning sickness: If you get it, it won't start until 3-6 weeks after conception. So, when you start TTC (keep in mind that this is not the same as "when you get pregnant"; you may be TTC for months or years!) prepare yourself for the possibility of having to cancel some things "about a month from now." It's not really different from what would happen if you got the flu, except that it will last longer, so you'll be cancelling gigs rather than postponing. There's no telling how long it will last or how bad it will be. For me, from 4-10 weeks after conception, I could not commit to being anywhere before 2pm and about once a week spent an entire day in bed; I felt queasy 90% of the time and vomited at least 3 times a week. From 10-32 weeks, the queasiness was less and I vomited only (!) about 3 times a month, and I still felt tired but was routinely able to drag myself to places by 11am, but I had low blood pressure that caused me to faint with only a few minutes' warning every once in a while. The last 6 weeks were great! I didn't vomit again until I was in labor. Your experience could be completely different, but this is an example of what you might have to allow for. I was extremely healthy prior to pregnancy, BTW.<br><br>
You may not need to stop working before the birth, but you will need to stop traveling, unless you are willing to have any old on-call obstetrician deliver the baby wherever you happen to be! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Unless you have premature labor, you'll be able to travel (but maybe not on planes) until 4 weeks before the due date.<br><br>
If your baby has its own seat on a plane, it will get to bring as much luggage as any other passenger. If it's sitting on your lap, I don't think extra luggage is allowed. I'm sure the airline would provide the same help in getting around the airport that they provide to disabled people.<br><br>
For breastfeeding, you would pump when away from baby. If baby typically takes both breasts at a feeding, you'd pump as often as you've been nursing; if baby typically takes just one breast (mine still does, at almost 10 months!), you can pump half as often.<br><br>
I don't know what you mean about "becoming a mess and melting."<br><br>
Your energy level during pregnancy may be very low. After you recover from giving birth, you'll return to a normal energy level, but keep in mind that a lot of your energy will be needed to care for the baby! Even if you have a nanny or caregiving partner, you will be doing a lot of it. Particularly consider how you handle disrupted sleep. The easiest baby in the world will not let you sleep >4 hours in a row for at least 2 months. Most babies will be up in the middle of the night screaming pretty often in first month and then will wake to nurse every few hours for a year or more. Some babies don't tolerate caffeine in breastmilk, which means you'd have to keep alert during the day without it.<br><br>
I hope this info is helpful. I'm glad to see you're thinking ahead, instead of assuming everything will work out somehow and then getting mad at an "inconvenient" baby! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I agree that a lot of what you'll be able to do will depend on your baby's temperment. You have to think about what you'll do if you have a high needs baby who freaks out every time you try to put him on a plane.<br><br>
I will tell you that a lot of what my DH and I have had to do since our DD came along is just adapt everything in our work life as much as humanly possible to her. My DH started working nights (with less opportunity for advancement), I am avoiding travel as long as I am able, and I changed the days I work at home. You have to stay flexible because you're the grown up and a baby just knows whatever his or her needs are and whether or not they are being met. Everything else has to come second.<br><br>
As far as the pregnancy goes, I traveled in my second trimester, but that was pretty much it. Actually, I think I was given permission to fly up to 30 weeks, but frankly I got WAY tired of it WAY before then. I travel alone, and lugging 50 pound suitcases through the airport and eating crappy food at crappy restaurants after putting in a 12 hour day is the story of my life when I'm away. On one trip during my pregnancy I came back to my hotel, called DH on the phone and just wept for an hour. I was miserable. I felt like I wasn't doing what was good for my baby, so I vowed that was the end of my travel and I didn't care if they fired me (they didn't! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">).<br><br>
Hope this helps!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Wow! awesome! thanks tons!<br><br>
Envirobecca I totally apprecaite the honesty there That's waht I"m looking for as I try to learn all this stuff.. got more?<br><br>
Will check out those other forums you mentioned too..<br><br>
All the magazines and people I talk with dont' normally reflect the true reailty check...it looks so nice and pretty and cool to do this and I know inside I wil get to this too, but it's making the transition from teh hype to the reality that I want to do. I will do TONS more research into what needy, hypersensitive, special needs etc..babies need..<br><br>
Thanks for the guidance... always wiling to accept more if you think of more!<br><br>
thanks<br>
regards<br>
tiggertoo
 
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