Now why did this work?

432 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by afishwithabike, Mar 29, 2006

allgirls

Discussion Starter · Mar 28, 2006

had a rough night with Sophia last night...33mos

she would not wind down to go to sleep....she kept screaming and yelling and was waking up baby...

so in a bad mommy moment I took her out to her own room and closed the door and put the gate across...she screamed her head off....

I went to her and got her after a minute and said "if you want to play, this is where you have to be, if you want to sleep you can come with me" and I carried her back to my room...she crawled in bed all sweet and went to sleep.

OK, so here is my dilemma...

I hate when losing my patience and doing something that seems so mean works...

I want having patience and talking to her and explaining to get her calmed down, not losing it and angrily carrying her to another room.

It was as though she needed to "scream it out" once I got her out of her room she stopped screaming and went to bed. In the entire thing she never shed a tear...she wasn't crying she was screaming

One thing I am proud of...she was never scared of me...through the whole debacle she knew I wouldn't hit her or hurt her. I was very angry, completely out of control for me but she knew she wasn't getting hit...that was good. And she wasn't afraid in her room(she sleeps there quite often no problem) she was just mad.

These kids have me baffled...discipline has me baffled...it's such a struggle to figure it all out and balance the needs of one kids against the other kid and also allow my needs to be taken into account and to do this on my own much of the time.

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Stephane

· #2 · Mar 28, 2006

I have no idea, but I struggle with the same issues. I'm looking forward to getting some insight!

If it's any consolation, my 31 mo. old has been really whiney and has been screaming a lot too. I want her to express herself, but without waking the BABY!

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allgirls

Discussion Starter · #3 · Mar 28, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephane
I have no idea, but I struggle with the same issues. I'm looking forward to getting some insight!

If it's any consolation, my 31 mo. old has been really whiney and has been screaming a lot too. I want her to express herself, but without waking the BABY!

Exactly!

Tonight I am going to give her lots more choices with regard to bed...and I am going to ask her..."do you want to sleep or play" and if she chooses play then I will tell her "we are sleeping, you will have to play in your room and when you are ready to be quiet and sleep you can come in my room"

I am hoping she chooses sleep...but if she chooses play in her room that's ok. I am also going to try to get her down before she is over tired...last night baby needed to nurse right when she should probably have gone to sleep...couldn't be helped but I missed that window.

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aira

· #4 · Mar 29, 2006

I find that sometimes the wee hour screaming is related to a dream. Maybe not a really scary one, but sometimes a passionate one, or perhaps DS is acting out something big from the day.

If I ask him about his dreams he usually just starts talking (presumably about the dream - I can't tell) and talks himself to sleep. Sometimes it takes DH or me telling a story and that clears his mind.

Occasionally he asks to play, but I calmly offer to help him find his toys but tell him that I'm not playing, I'm sleeping now. He hasn't taken me up on that yet. He just snuggles and asks for a story.

I think if I had a younger one as well, I'd be way less able to handle the nighttime stuff.

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robinkate

· #5 · Mar 29, 2006

I think getting angry works when it doesn't happen very often. I know when I start getting upset and it comes out in my tone of voice, dd usually does what I'm asking, because she is tuned in to my feelings and starting to have empathy. But if I used that all the time, I don't think it would work anymore. I believe being calm and firm would work as well, it's just hard to do all the time!

Hope you have a better night! Sounds like you have a good plan.

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afishwithabike

· #6 · Mar 29, 2006

I feel for you I really do. I don't have answers but I am offering a hug. I am sending good sleep vibes your way.

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