Nudity scare!

Tough situation. I'm thinking that the best approach would be to keep it low key. Yes, you're embarrassed, but don't let it show. Just calmly, matter-of-factly tell him that it is important to knock before entering someones' room, out or respect for privacy, not shame. To be honest, he's probably more embarassed by the incident than you are, and will most likely be more careful in the future.
My son is 9, and I'm just starting to feel uncomfortable being undressed around him. I hate this 'growing-up' buisness! :

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ITA. The fact is, when people live in a house together 24/7, your going to get the occasional glimpse of each other's nude bodies. And that's okay. But barging to a room without knocking is not.

I have to admit, my 12 year old son is much better about knocking first than I am, but I'm working on it...I have to, he keeps reminding me, "Mom, please knock first." It's a bit embarassing to need to have my pre-teen remind me of good manners!

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I am soooo sorry! I am laughing my fool head off! AAAHHH! I'm gettin' a visual!

Oh Lordie........ Thanks for the giggle!

I understand where you are coming from! My two oldest don't care a fig about any (family member) one seeing them naked. Ds is 10 and dd is almost 9. The baby of course has serious issues. Why is that? He won't take his shirt off unless his door is closed? Are we too 'out there' so he went the other way...? Anyway, I feel for ya!

We don't have any rules regarding privacy - yet! But I do see your point with your younger dd's and older son. I kinda have been watching them too. Except my dd is only 18 months behind him. So far no rules! My poor little 6 year old (almost 7) used to beg me to make dd put on her clothes! Bless his heart.

I would probably make a joke out of it (your son walking in on you). My ds10 and I are pretty close and it would alleviate some of his embarrassment by my approaching the situation with a joke first. Make sense? I have noticed in the last 6 months that he won't come in the bathroom if I am on the potty. He'll hang out outside the door and talk to me (like around the corner even!).

I do find myself wondering about a lot of this type thing as they get older. I am interested to read other posts to see how other moms handle it.

I will say that I have made a definate effort to actually lock my door if I know I can't do a 'quick change' ( you know what i mean ) I've obviously been walked in on too!

Lisa

I was brought up in a family where nudity was no big deal, and it's that way here too.

Matter of fact, just a couple of weeks ago I went to my mom's house and she shouted that she was up in the tub, so I walked up there to talk to her *no big deal* and my 24 year old brother was already sitting there talking to her. *LOL*

we're born naked. why make it taboo?

i understand the privacy issue ~ we do that stuff here (i.e., you don't just walk into a room that has a closed door)... my son knows to knock if there's a closed door, and wait for an answer (although he doesn't yet have that restraint all the time, so if we really need privacy when he's awake, we go in the bathroom, because it's the only door in our apartment that has a lock).

but honestly i spend a lot of time naked / nearly naked. we're teaching my son that nudity is ok (though he prefers to wear clothes ~ first kid i've ever met that did ), just don't stare at people's "private parts."

he spent a lot of time going through a phase where every time he'd see one of us naked, he'd follow us around and stare at what was between our legs. he also went through a phase where he'd try to get in every grownup man's pants he saw and try to find their penis. (even with his daddy that's completely unacceptable!!) we spent a LOT of time working past that with him. finally he "got" it, and doesn't do it anymore (thankfully).

i don't know how i would have reacted to a child seeing my privates if they weren't already accustomed to the idea that 1) we don't stare, and 2) it's completely natural (and if you like, 3) everyone is different).

the more you freak out about it the more they'll get the idea that it's something to hide or be ashamed of.

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that's one of our rules too ~ if he wants to play with his penis, he goes in his room and does it privately, because that's a private thing.

eta ~

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i remember growing up, my parents taught me (basically) to be ashamed of my body and my private parts...... then i got to be a teen and my mom didn't think anything of getting dressed or undressed around us kids. i was MORTIFIED. i'd walk into her room ** through her OPEN DOOR ** to talk to her and find her standing there nearly naked... i STILL can't stand that! it was AWFUL. and she never saw a problem with it. she actually made a big deal of it one time: "come on, i'm just getting DRESSED, what is it you wanted to talk to me about????" :: sigh :: i think if i had been raised from day 1 to have a more natural outlook on the human body i would have been able to deal w/ her nudity a bit better... kwim?

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reminds me of ds telling everyone in the grocery store about how he and daddy had penises, but mommy had a "volvo"

Our family is pretty comfortable half-naked, too. My oldest ds does have his own bathroom, but if I need to talk to him, he has no problem with me poking my head in while he's showering, as long as I knock. (He'll be 16 in 2 mos.) Older dd prefers privacy while she's in the bathroom, but doesn't mind if I really need to be in the bathroom too, as long as I don't stare at her. She still has no problem with bathing around me, or showering with me if we're in a hurry in the morning, just likes privacy to use the potty (she's 9). Little ds will be 7 this week, and has no modesty issues at all. He still showers with me sometimes, too, and often bathes with the baby and thinks nothing of it. Dh lives in just undies in the summer, and no one thinks anything of that. I've spent a lot of oldest ds's life breastfeeding, so he's pretty accustomed to the brief sightings of breasts. He also is so used to me pumping, he doesn't think of it as a private activity (at home, I usually pump in the living room on the couch while checking e-mail, or watching TV.) His casualness about breastfeeding has been useful. His English teacher last year was my patient, and she struggled a bit with nursing/pumping when she started back to school after the birth of her dd. Ds actually relayed several messages back and forth between us about her pumping issues. Probably not too many 15 year olds would be comfy doing that! On the other hand, his casualness can be a problem, too. Today I was sitting on the floor in the living room pumping one side (worked this am and little dd only wanted 1 side when I came home.) Older ds came home with our church's college intern unexpectedly, and traipsed right into the living room with him to ask me something, even though he could hear the pump going. Fortunately, college intern guy had absolutely no clue whatsoever since I had my back to them and just looked over my shoulder at them. Maybe a little less casualness would be useful, though!
In our experience, the kids have sought out more privacy when they needed it, and we have just respected what they want. I wouldn't go in the bathroom with older dd unless she says it's okay, and I always knock on older ds's door. I expect them to knock if I have the door closed, too. If I feel they've violated my privacy, I ask them gently to respect it. If they feel I've violated their privacy, they're not always so gentle, but we cut them some slack! When I've been walked in on, I simply tell whoever that I'm dressing or whatever and can they please wait outside, and next time knock! Other than knocking on closed doors, we haven't felt it necessary to make any other rules, and find that as they get older, they're just less comfortable naked around each other and naturally seek more cover.
Now that older ds often has friends over, I have encouraged my younger kids to get dressed when it's not just family in the house. They seem to understand that it's okay to be naked around your family, but that you get more covered when strangers are around.

My now 14 year old was never "modest"..LOL. He will still walk around in his underwear/boxers and doesn't care.Now he does want his privacy in the bathroom/shower which I totally respect as I also want mine and he gives it.But he is totally comfortable with seeing breastfeeding babes as I have always made that natural for him.I say whatever goes for your family. Love Mylie xx

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This is how I always thought our house would be. The nudity is non-sexual, and no big deal. I just haven't maintained that easy going idea. To see my breasts isn't a big deal... I am always nursing and so was his aunt when my nieces and nephew was little. It's that he saw my female parts in such an embarrassing position...... : I didn't make a big deal. Today he has finally started remembering to knock. He said it "bothered him too, a little". I am bad about remembering to close the door also, so he is going to try knocking at the corner before coming to my room.

no walking around in pajamas! oh my. since my husband started wearing boxer-briefs that is standard attire in the mornings here. but we have been camping at dead shows and phish shows so dd has probably seen more than most in terms of strangers freaking out or being crazy and perhaps nude at the same time. lots of people swimming nude in the river, for example. in fact i think my husband is a little silly about privacy with our daughter and i am kind of surprised but whatever. he usually covers up if he is nude and she comes in or something. i think that's silly and also if i had been comfortable seeing my dad nude i might not have had a whole education to obtain once i started having sex. photos just didn't prepare me for the real thing!

we have friends who practice a japanese religion, i don't remember what it's called, but they take a family bath every day. in fact they were so pleased to move so they could put in a custom tub- the old one was a big roman tub but still not big enough for all five at once. so dad, mom, kids- teenage boy, preteen girl and little boy- all bathe together. the girl was my student when she was in first and second grade and she was the most relaxed and mature kid, esp about nudity and bodily functions. she just didn't have the giggles or other nonsense about it.

but of course we must respect our kids' feelings as well. i think it's interesting though because since you are the head of the household as parents it's your decision whether or not to be comfortable with nudity so do you change that to accomodate the embarrassment or modesty of a teen? i have wondered about this.