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Hey Darci,
All I can say is I was glad to see the title of your post because i'm the same way. Especially the part about how you're getting tired of your own self not being in the mood. i actually remember the last time I was ITM, and it was many moons ago. It felt so FANTASTIC. That's why I know that right now I'm pretty damn miserable in this regard.

DD just turned 12 months old. She sleeps in our room, right next to our bed in playpen, but often is in our bed, too, whenever she wants to be. I know one thing, my nipples used to be my FAVORITE part about being stimulated and now it's ANNOYING if my DH tries to initiate ML with that. One thing we've tried is other kinds of stimulation, like a back rub. ALso, we tend to put DD to bed and then watch a movie, relishing in our 'freetime' while DD is sleeping soundly. BUt, the downside is that when the movie's over and it's time for us to go to bed, we're exhausted from raising DD and from staying up too late and getting up too early with DD. So, I'm suggesting that we skip the movie once in a while and instead set aside time to GIO, saving our little energy reserves for that at least once a week, if not twice (not ready for twice yet, if you know what I mean).

Basically, I am suggesting that you look at your routine and all the other factors which may be contributing to your libido beyond nursing - exhaustion has to be one of them, right? stress? needing new ways of being stimulated and feeling good since nursing numbs the nipples (a blessing for us concerning the baby, but not concerning the hubby)? And just try to make some changes. Of course, I'm suggesting this before actually trying it out myself. I litterally JUST made this suggestion this morning to DH!!! He was really glad about it (understandably) because he wants me to enjoy myself, too.

Good luck and I hope other people write and give us ideas/support!
zuri'smom
 

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Hi Everyone,
I've found all the posts really helpful and affirming. I don't know what AF means. Can anyone explain it to me? I was wracking my brain as was my DH and neither of us could figure it out. If it has something to do with ovulation, I BF my baby full-time for seven months before I first gave her some solids to try and I was menstruating only 6 weeks after DD was born!!! I was hoping for a longer respite.

Anyway, I wanted to update folks on something I discovered, which I think might help others. I noticed that, like me, a lot of mamas on this thread no longer enjoy nipple stimulation, which was originally a great source of stimulation, but post BF such stimulation is a definate NO. Well, I have begun to realize that if my DH and I begin foreplay with kissing, and other kinds of stimulation that skips the nipples all together, a funny thing happens....all of a sudden, I want my nipples stimulated! So we have a new rule that I will TELL him when it's okay to have my nipples stimulated and that he can never begin sex with that. I don't know if other mamas have had simliar revelations, but I was shocked when it happened to me. When my DH and I most recently agreed to GIO, I was most definately not ITM. I actually used some positive self-talk to get me through the initial part (outloud I said to myself "I can do this, I know I can!" my DH found it amusing and sweet). But once I got through that initial "do I have to? " part, things got better.....a lot better.

Of course, this experience hasn't changed my libido factor. It's still at a zero! But at least I know I can still enjoy myself if I just get started.

WEll, thought I'd pass that one on. I hope it gives other mamas courage to 'experiment' at least.

Zuri'smom
 

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Just read eyesoftheworld's post - a friend of mine who is perimenopausal recommended Response Cream by Emerita. it's an herbal cream she swears by. I ordered some, but haven't tried it yet, so I can't vouch for it. But my friend says she and her DH have completely turned around their sex life since they discovered it! I know you can find it on the web if you do a search.
 
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