[EyesOfTheWorld]

Have any of you mamas tried any herbs or anything similar? Any success? My dh and I had a big talk about this last night and he thinks I should talk to a doctor about it, becuase at 17 months post partum it "can't be normal!". He's totally cool with me exhausting all other options first, but I think he's just feeling sorry for himself

Any ideas? Anything else you do to help "get in the mood"?

 

[Zuri'smom]

Hi Everyone,
I've found all the posts really helpful and affirming. I don't know what AF means. Can anyone explain it to me? I was wracking my brain as was my DH and neither of us could figure it out. If it has something to do with ovulation, I BF my baby full-time for seven months before I first gave her some solids to try and I was menstruating only 6 weeks after DD was born!!! I was hoping for a longer respite.

Anyway, I wanted to update folks on something I discovered, which I think might help others. I noticed that, like me, a lot of mamas on this thread no longer enjoy nipple stimulation, which was originally a great source of stimulation, but post BF such stimulation is a definate NO. Well, I have begun to realize that if my DH and I begin foreplay with kissing, and other kinds of stimulation that skips the nipples all together, a funny thing happens....all of a sudden, I want my nipples stimulated! So we have a new rule that I will TELL him when it's okay to have my nipples stimulated and that he can never begin sex with that. I don't know if other mamas have had simliar revelations, but I was shocked when it happened to me. When my DH and I most recently agreed to GIO, I was most definately not ITM. I actually used some positive self-talk to get me through the initial part (outloud I said to myself "I can do this, I know I can!" my DH found it amusing and sweet). But once I got through that initial "do I have to? " part, things got better.....a lot better.

Of course, this experience hasn't changed my libido factor. It's still at a zero! But at least I know I can still enjoy myself if I just get started.

WEll, thought I'd pass that one on. I hope it gives other mamas courage to 'experiment' at least.

Zuri'smom

 

[Zuri'smom]

Just read eyesoftheworld's post - a friend of mine who is perimenopausal recommended Response Cream by Emerita. it's an herbal cream she swears by. I ordered some, but haven't tried it yet, so I can't vouch for it. But my friend says she and her DH have completely turned around their sex life since they discovered it! I know you can find it on the web if you do a search.

 

[Heffernhyphen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zuri'smom I don't know what AF means. Can anyone explain it to me? I was wracking my brain as was my DH and neither of us could figure it out.

You know which one drove me crazy? nak. Man, I killed some brain cells trying to figure that one out. Which is ironic, since I am ALWAYS nak. Like you, I asked dh, then finally had to ask someone who used it. As for AF, I do believe that would be Aunt Flo (Aunt Flow). Does that help?

 

[Zuri'smom]

thanks! That does help - I would have never gotten that one on my own. now I have to figure out what NAK means!

 

[Kira's mom]

I still ahven't seen AF (yes Aunt Flo) but once since I married three yrs ago in May!! We got pg right after we married(about 4 weeks) But WHAT IS NAK???

 

[DeepGreen29]

nursing at keyboard.

It took me FOREVER to figure that one out...even as I was doing it myself.

:LOL

 

[Heffernhyphen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeepGreen29 nursing at keyboard. It took me FOREVER to figure that one out...even as I was doing it myself. :LOL

We're totally off topic now, but what were some of your guesses for nak? I kept coming up with nursing a kid. Close . . . .

 

[DeepGreen29]

LoL

I could not even guess. It boggled my mind for the longest time because usually when someone says "nak" that is all they say!!!!!!!!!! That and an emoticon or something. No clues whatsoever.

I don't know how it finally came to me....but I just *got it* all at once. lol.

 

[nicema]

it was sure great to read everyone's post and find out that I am not that abnormal, specially bc ds just turned 3 yo and I have been on this boat for this loooonnggg....

 

[Phoebe]

I didn't get a chance to read everyone's posts but I thought I'd tack on my 2 cents anyway. I was the same way. Ds is almost 15 months and still nursing. My libido returned with AF. In fact, I guessed that AF was on her way back because I was ~ahem~ horney. Hadn't felt that way in a LONG time! AF arrived 2 weeks later. My guess was ovulation. Also, I have to say that cosleeping has affected things for us. Dh and I are naked sleepers. Now with ds in the bed, eventhough we are still in the buff, we don't accidentally rub up against each other now and go "ooops. Hey! What was that" hubba hubba.
Anyway, it'll come back. In the mean time, the best thing you can do...IMHO...is just pretend you are totally into the idea of sex once a week. For your marriage sake. But that's just me...

amy

 

[Zipporah]

Just piping in late to say same boat here. ITA about it being a biological/evolutionary thing, and i also think it's a big reason why in most cultures around the world men have had multiple wives. That takes a LOT of pressure off a new mama!!! :LOL