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So..dd is 2.5...she still nurses..not on a regular basis but here and there....she's soo busy going about her life.....learning, growing too fast, being impish....<br><br>
I try to remember each nursing session now bc I am unsure when it's going to be the last...I get it in my memory and then she doesn't nurse for a week or two ( maybe a min here or there) and then whammo...she'll nurse to sleep for a few days in a row so that previous memory fades a bit and I make this new one.....I've "trapped" myself in this cycle......and it makes me sad...<br><br>
I never though I would make it 2 months, let alone 30 and being sad it's slowly ending.....I thought I would be a formula mom like all my friends...but my heart wouldn't let me.....<br><br>
So...it's been 4 days since she last nursed, I really don't have a memory of it bc I had a migrane, she'd been sooo sprited that day and it's a blur.....and I'm so sad I don't remember it bc what if that was the last time???<br><br>
DH thinks I'm crazy.....but he's ruled by testosterone and not estrogen...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I am having fertility issues, we don't have money for IVF and such if that's what is needed to have another so I have these emotions of her being an onlie with a step sister who is 5 years older who isn't nice to her....of me not possibly having any more and never being able to nurse another one again....it's making it harder to let this part go.......<br><br>
I just want to remember the last time........maybe I should write it down eh??? but then I'd have a whole book of last times....LOL<br><br>
Guess I just needed to get that out since she came over and patted a yummy to say hiya to it and run off and play......<br><br>
Off to vote.....
 

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I do this with dd1, she's almost 4 and nursing, well when she feels like it. I'm always wondering if this time will be the last, a week will go by and she won't nurse and I start thinking that maybe she is done, then she'll nurse again. She nursed yesterday am, after she was done I asked her about weaning because I was curious what she'd say. DD1 told me that she doesn't need "nee nee" that much anymore but she isn't ready to be done with them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> That's good enough for me, we'll just continue on our current path and see where it take us. I feel a little guilt, dd1 is still latching on, but she doesn't actually drink milk anymore<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I had lost my supply as soon as I got pg with dd2, I don't remember the last time she really nursed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 
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