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Discussion Starter #81
thanks everyone, for your kind words.<br><br>
I have actually been "backing off a bit"-- <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: just haven't been offering as much. so hard to get rejected over and over and over....ykwim?<br><br>
I'm not stressed out like I was. I am just pumping and occassionally offering. I'm no longer sitting around topless. honestly I am okay with how things are at the moment. I'm not resenting the pumping time *yet*.....when I start to, I know that I should quit.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vanessab23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7339878"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">at what point? just curious what all of your opinions are on this. I may be opening a can of worms with this, but I would like to know. And I know it's a very personal decision-- but WWYD if you were in my situation?</div>
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This is my first post on this thread, and I have to say I really, really admire you for all of your dedication in this situation. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
My ds is nearly 15 months, and if I were in your situation I would keep doing what you're doing for as long as it's feasible. Keep pumping, keep offering ebm and offering the breast. I wouldn't totally give up topless snuggles or baths yet, but I wouldn't force things or get stressed.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vanessab23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7342460"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">thanks everyone, for your kind words.<br><br>
I have actually been "backing off a bit"-- <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: just haven't been offering as much. so hard to get rejected over and over and over....ykwim?<br><br>
I'm not stressed out like I was. I am just pumping and occassionally offering. I'm no longer sitting around topless. honestly I am okay with how things are at the moment. I'm not resenting the pumping time *yet*.....when I start to, I know that I should quit.</div>
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Just wanted to chime in...Please keep up with the updates, I have been lurking for awhile now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Since your EPing (for now, hopefully not forever) feel free to check out our tribe in Breastfeeding challenges. Their are all sorts reasons to EPump and sometimes it is nice to talk to others tied to the pump, especially through the hard, lonely pumping times. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Thanks BakerALM-- I have been lurking on your thread too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
I will come read more thoroughly, though-- I hadn't wanted to post b/c I wasn't really sure if I belonged. Although, with each day that passes I am less unsure about that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">:<br><br>
I will keep y'all posted <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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p.s. your daughter is toooo cute. Lola was one of our names too-- until we had a boy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sunnysideup</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7339612"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So, you're saying that when a baby goes on a nursing strike we should not encourage him/her to go back to nursing, because humans eventually are supposed to drink from a cup? By that logic, why not start them on a cup at birth? My 2nd baby went on a nursing strike at 5 months old due to pacifier use. The poor kid would have starved himself if it was up to him because he prefered that stupid pacifier.<br><br>
I understand that some nursing strikes do lead to weaning, regardless of mom's efforts to continue with nursing, and of course a mom shouldn't blame herself if that happens. At some point you let it go. But I don't understand why you have such a problem with a mother trying to encourage a baby to continue nursing.<br><br>
No one is saying a baby should be forced to nurse--how would you do that anyway????</div>
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I don't have a problem with a mom "encouraging" a child to continue nursing. I have a problem with a mother denying food or liquid in an effort to manipulate a child into going back to the breast against their will. To me, that is like being a babytrainer and breaking their will to make them conform to some preconceived notion that we "think" they should nurse for so long. My second DS did not read the memo from WHO!<br><br>
You can't compare a 5 month old and a 13 month old. A 5 month old is an infant. A 13 month old is a toddler. There's a world of difference in between. Like you said, your 5 month old stopped nursing because of something you were doing wrong (pacifier), a 13 month old can stop nursing because they simply don't want to anymore. That's what makes the difference. I just think you must be respectful to your child. We can't make them all be cookie cutter children.<br><br>
Vanessa- I have 5 children and my youngest two are twins, so I've had a wide range of different experiences raising these children. HUGE!!!!! If you go on to have another one, your next one could easily nurse to 3 or 4. I had one that did. Each nursing relationship is as different as each child. This is why I feel so strongly about it. You're doing a great job and sorry your thread has been taken over!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lotsofkids</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7343533"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Vanessa- I have 5 children and my youngest two are twins, so I've had a wide range of different experiences raising these children. HUGE!!!!! If you go on to have another one, your next one could easily nurse to 3 or 4. I had one that did. Each nursing relationship is as different as each child. This is why I feel so strongly about it. You're doing a great job and sorry your thread has been taken over!</div>
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Thank you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
Yes, I am counting on each one being soooo different. How could they not be? We do want more, and honestly this whole thing may just hasten it-- I am sure to get my cycles back now!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> (I actually felt some funny twinges yesterday, from my long dormant cervix <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )<br><br>
I am actually enjoying the banter, very interesting, indeed!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vanessab23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7343488"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks BakerALM-- I have been lurking on your thread too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
I will come read more thoroughly, though-- I hadn't wanted to post b/c I wasn't really sure if I belonged. Although, with each day that passes I am less unsure about that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">:</div>
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np, I remember those days when each day I hoped I could stop pumping. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: But keep your spirt up, the boob is so much better than anything else and someday soon he will remember that!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vanessab23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7343488"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">p.s. your daughter is toooo cute. Lola was one of our names too-- until we had a boy<br></div>
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Thanks, those smiles keep me going when she is still up all hours of the night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lotsofkids</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7343533"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You can't compare a 5 month old and a 13 month old. A 5 month old is an infant. A 13 month old is a toddler.</div>
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I know it is normal in this bottle-feeding culture to disregard the importance of nursing for toddlers, but many of us see the second year of nursing as just as important as the first.
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">a 13 month old can stop nursing because they simply don't want to anymore.</td>
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I don't think that's true. I think that when a 13mo stops nursing there are always other reasons besides "they don't want to." A strike that begins because of teething, for example, might lead to a toddler not wanting to nurse anymore. At that point, all mom can do is try.
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I just think you must be respectful to your child. We can't make them all be cookie cutter children.</td>
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I agree that children are different and their needs and wants should be respected. I just don't think that encouraging breastfeeding with a toddler on a nursing strike is disrespectful. Some needs are universal. I am sure we all agree that all newborn humans want to nurse (we are mammals after all), and that doesn't make them all "cookie cutter" babies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances make nursing difficult. That can sometimes happen in the beginning and sometimes halfway through the nursing journey.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sunnysideup</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7345800"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know it is normal in this bottle-feeding culture to disregard the importance of nursing for toddlers, but many of us see the second year of nursing as just as important as the first. I don't think that's true. I think that when a 13mo stops nursing there are always other reasons besides "they don't want to." A strike that begins because of teething, for example, might lead to a toddler not wanting to nurse anymore. At that point, all mom can do is try. I agree that children are different and their needs and wants should be respected. I just don't think that encouraging breastfeeding with a toddler on a nursing strike is disrespectful. Some needs are universal. I am sure we all agree that all newborn humans want to nurse (we are mammals after all), and that doesn't make them all "cookie cutter" babies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances make nursing difficult. That can sometimes happen in the beginning and sometimes halfway through the nursing journey.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I'd been trying for days to say that and couldn't get it out. But yeah.<br><br>
Toddlers nursing is just as important as babies nursing.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vanessab23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7343704"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thank you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
Yes, I am counting on each one being soooo different. How could they not be? We do want more, and honestly this whole thing may just hasten it-- I am sure to get my cycles back now!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> (I actually felt some funny twinges yesterday, from my long dormant cervix <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )<br><br>
I am actually enjoying the banter, very interesting, indeed!</div>
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<br>
Oh boy, that's why I ended up with number three!!!! Well I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason and that we all have the children we're meant to have. Sounds corny when I type it, but your next one may be very impatient and need to come RIGHT NOW, this moment!!! Good luck!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lotsofkids</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7348197"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh boy, that's why I ended up with number three!!!! Well I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason and that we all have the children we're meant to have. Sounds corny when I type it, but your next one may be very impatient and need to come RIGHT NOW, this moment!!! Good luck!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> we'll see!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #93
12.5 days now-- and lookie lookie, I am now ovulating <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
oh well, everything happens for a reason.....<br><br>
and supply has been lower the last couple days.....so I have added a session to my day (yipppeeee)
 

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2 weeks today. I know everyone says to remain positive, but in my heart or hearts and by the look on his face I know he isn't coming back. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">:<br><br>
I have accepted this now and per a reco. I will lurk over on the EP tribe for pumping encouragement.<br><br>
Thanks everyone......<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
--Vanessa
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I think it is great he nursed for as long as he did, and you are amazing for pumping for him too.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I JUST found this forum and thread... out here lookin to see what other ebfing moms were up to... your situation moved me to tears. MUCH love to you and your boy; you gave it such a valiant effort! I was rooting for you!<br><br>
I wanted to ask, like 3 pages ago, how you're doing in terms of bonding time? Now that he is electing to pass on the breast, is he still open to cuddle time? My fear for you was that with all the offering and rejecting, was he going to start rejecting hugs too, afraid you'd put the boob in his mouth.<br><br>
Many moms don't make it past 6 months, even when they want to. That's a solid year, girl. You should count yourself lucky there.<br><br>
Did anyone suggest breast milk smoothies? Some little bits of mushed banana and apple, with milk, in the blender? A tasty treat he may go for, just to continue to let him have his choice of no boob, but also still get all the goodness of the breast milk?
 

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Hi Prennamama,<br>
Welcome to our drama <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Actually he started taking EBM around 4 days into his strike. From a sippy cup, thank goodness. Thank you for the love and praise, it is much needed, especially today-- I just decided last night to slowly wean from pumping and then I yelled at him, in his face, so horrible, and then I decided against weaning the pumping, I am CONFUSED <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
To answer your question, luckily, he has been even more snuggly than he used to be. He is making up for not getting snuggles during nursing. Before he was always just too busy/energetic/whatever to slow down and hug for very long. Now when we hug he just melts into me. OMG I just my cry (thank you! for encouraging me to think about the positive aspects to our "crisis"!). He has gotten really lovey-- and I don't feel he's scared that I will offer. He just says no and that's that. NO trauma. NO drama.<br><br>
In fact, when he drinks the EBM from the sippy cup (especially at night or when he's tired/sad/in pain) I snuggle him like I did when we nursed-- cuddled into the crook of my arm <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes"> It's really sweet and feels soooo good.<br><br>
I know I made it farther than the average american woman, but I only made it half way to my goal. But, I digress, I've gone through the range of emotions and now I know we're done and I'm okay with it. I just have to figure out how long I pump for. Each minute I come up with a different answer. Sometimes I resent having to do it, and then I lurk over with the EPers thread and I realize how good I've had it this far, and how lucky I am to (1) have a baby drinking EBM and (2) have the money to own a good pump and (3) the education to know how important BM is.<br><br>
Anyway, thank you for your kind words. And to all that have lurked but not written, I feel your love and support. Thank you and goodnight. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">:<br><br>
--Vanessa
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I bet you have some crazy hormone stuff going on too with the less nursing. Hang in there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamamoo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7376875"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I bet you have some crazy hormone stuff going on too with the less nursing. Hang in there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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oooh I do-- AF is just around the corner, of that, I am sure. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I'm relieved to read that your snuggle-time took an up-swing, in the wake of weaning. How tough it must've been, to have this plan in mind, and then have HIM decide his own route, which did not fall in line with your plan.<br><br>
If I may ask (dunno if this is too OT, and some don't approve... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: ) when is his birthday? I'm an astrologer, and just curious about independance in the chart, and early decision-making ability, etc... Some boys (Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn - the winter boys) seem to be more <i>likely</i> to have very intense feelings one way or the other, either nursing til they're like 6 or cutting it off early.
 
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