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Absolutely normal. Happened with me each time. With my first I dealt with it badly. Very badly. Got better with the others, though. Not the feelings of ... well, repulsion, that's the only word that seems appropriate ... they stayed. But dealt with it in other ways.

Most successful method was meditation. Would meditate from the moment the big one latched on ... breathing exercises, mantras, anything, just to keep me calm.

It worked.

If you don't meditate, but if you used any sort of relaxation techniques or exercises during childbirth, you might want to try those.

It does get better eventually, BTW.

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