[Ivan's Mom]

Hi people,

My previous posts have included trying to find an OB/GYN that was ethically opposed to circumcision. I am in NJ and I have looked and looked and inquired and inquired. Anyway, the Holistic Mom's Network gave me a name and I had my first visit with him this morning.

Help me sort out my thoughts:

1. He does circumcision

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2. He told me that he tells all of his patients that circ is elective surgery and it is totally a parental decision.
3. He agreed that no pain reliever was effective.

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4. He said that he felt encouraged in the 1980's because he saw a big reduction in requests for circ from parents.
He made comments like, "I was so happy that we would stop all this silly cutting of kids for reasons like wanting the child to look like dad and that silly locker room argument."
5. He said that he watched a penile never block circ (done by my previous OB/GYN) because he was interested in helping ease the circ pain on his patients. He said that the poor baby screamed worse than any child he has seen circ'd.

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6. He said that he was hoping for the day that all parents would say "No" to circ and see the harm and pain done.
7. He took my NOCIRC pamphlets and my conscientious objection pamphlet and seemed genuinely interested.

Other points about this OB/GYN:
1. He was open about my having a VBAC.
2. He believes in natural progression of labor and encourages women to have the type of birth experience that they want.
3. Believes in and encourages breast feeding. Says almost 100% of his patients breastfeed.
4. Said he is the most holistic practice in the area. I know, circ is not holistic.

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5. Teaches "Happiest Baby on the Block."

Help me make sense of this all.

: I have been told by Ivan's pedi, who is holistic as well as being an AAP pedi that I probably will not find an OB/GYN that refuses to do circ in NJ. She herself signed up with NOCIRC as a pedi who believes in the NOCIRC philosophy.

 

[eepster]

He isn't perfect, but here in NJ it really may be the best you can get. I'd say choose him for now, but keep an eye out just in case you find Dr. Perfect.

BTW is he north of you? If I manage to get preg again I'd like to switch OB/Gyns, but I can't go too far b/c I was in PTL 5 times with DS.

 

[ThreeBeans]

I would go with it. He sounds like his heart is in the right place, and what's more important, he sounds like he's open to further education.

 

[LittleRockstar]

Why doesn't he "elect" not to do circs? I think I would have to ask him why he was performing a harmful procedure that he was against.

I would probably stick with him until someone better comes along.

 

[Ivan's Mom]

Thanks mamas! He did seem genuinely kind-hearted and not an egomanic.

Eepster, he is in Lakewood, NJ. PM me if you want his name and address. He also has an office in Colts Neck, NJ.

 

[InDaPhunk]

What about going with a midwife in a hospital/birthing center? Or homebirth with a midwife? I know you're looking for a vbac but that isn't a contraindication for having a midwife at either one of those places.

 

[onlyboys]

CNMs are also trained to do circs. At least mine were.

 

[InDaPhunk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlyboys CNMs are also trained to do circs. At least mine were.

That doesnt mean that they actually perform them. One would be more likely to find a midwife that doesn't do them than an OB that doesn't. There are other types of midwives besides CNMs.

 

[eepster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by InDaPhunk What about going with a midwife in a hospital/birthing center? Or homebirth with a midwife? I know you're looking for a vbac but that isn't a contraindication for having a midwife at either one of those places.

There are no free standing birthcenters in NJ, and hard as it is to find an OB/Gyn to do VBAC instead of just schedualing another C-section, it's pretty near impossible to get a midwife willing to do them.

 

[InDaPhunk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eepster There are no free standing birthcenters in NJ, and hard as it is to find an OB/Gyn to do VBAC instead of just schedualing another C-section, it's pretty near impossible to get a midwife willing to do them.

Nice

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Then I guess that guy will have to do. You could do worse. It's so ridiculous that you even have to deal with this issue. Good luck

.

 

[purposefulmother]

He sounds ok to me. Not perfect but pretty good considering. I'd choose him, and like others have said, keep an open mind that The Perfect OB is out there somewhere...

 

[moonmama7]

Are you guys kidding? He's the worst kind of scum -- he KNOWS it's wrong and STILL does it! You can even excuse someone who doesn't know or thinks it's a good thing to do but someone who knows the damage and still does it? Lowest level of scum IMHO. I'm not you but if I were I would actually take a moral stand on this and wouldn't let his filthy hands touch me and tell him EXACTLY why. Puke.

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[Ruthla]

I think that having a good birth is your primary goal with an OB/GYN or midwife. Would you rather use an OB who won't perform circs but will schedual you for an automatic c/s rather than supporting you through a VBAC?

I have to disagree with moonmama7- he's reducing the total number of circs performed by encouraging his patients not to do it. If he completely refused to do them, he might turn away potential patients and then not have a chance to educate them- or at least that could be his thinking.

 

[Ivan's Mom]

All good points. Thanks for your point of view moonmama7, it is terrible to have heard this guy say all these things and still have him do this unspeakable crime to babies. I am not sure if I mentioned this, but along with saying he was encouraged in the 1980's because the request for circ was so low, he said that today almost 100% of his patients request circ for their boys these days.

: He made those two extreme comments about circ and breastfeeding. So I am wondering if it was all a bit of lip service.

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I still have time. This was just my annual, I am not pregnant. We wont TTC until Aug, so I have time to ask Ivan's pedi for another reference. I am not encouraged though, because she told me she has never heard of an OB/GYN that did not circ in NJ. I think I hear about them more on the West Coast. His practice has two midwives and they circ. I have called many midwives during my search and they all either circ or work alongside a doctor that does circ. This is just as bad IMO.

Also, I am not comfortable with not having a doctor present for my children's birth. We had a family member die in childbirth

: She was at home with a midwife. Her little boy never got to have booby milk, snuggle his mommy, nothing

: So very sad.

 

[~Megan~]

For a OB he might be a good choice. I don't know of any midwives that do circumcision though