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Against my better judgement I took my three year old with me today to my OB visit-I'm twelve weeks so he did a pap, then used a doppler to hear the heartbeat and did a bi-manual exam to feel for baby's size.<br><br>
Prior to beginning my OB was telling my daughter (who calls herself purple 5 Molly) that she was a beautiful healthy little girl and was talking with her about her croc boots and her favorite color purple. ( I love my OB). He is laid back, gentle, and an all around nice guy (who homebirthed his third child).<br><br>
That aside. As he was doing my pap my husband was holding dd. My OB was discussing that the color purple originated when royalty used to crush snails as the only way to get the color. (My dd is a worm and snail loving kind of girl). Halfway through the pap it became clear to me that dd was under the impression that my OB was putting snails up my parts. My OB then used the doppler to hear the heartbeat (yay a heartbeat). At that point dd says nooooo don't take Rhoda's heartbeat away (Rhoda) is the name she has for her imaginary baby. Finally my OB figures out that my dd thinks the baby's heartbeat has been taken and there are snails up my vagina and starts apologizing-and tells dd that he has seen lots of critters in those places but never ever has he seen a snail-clarifying to my husband that he has never seen critters of any kind in any of my places.<br><br>
And then promises my dd bug stickers-which he does actually deliver. All the while I am on the table laughing hysterically at the confusion and my dd's angst (which makes me a bad mother I know).<br><br>
Fast forward to bedtime after stories and lights out and dd is laying on my arm thinking hard and she says-What's on your butt? Poor kids been thinking about it all day. I did clarify there was nothing on my butt-offered to show her my butt-she declined-and told her we just needed to make sure the baby is healthy. Two words for next time-babysitter.<br><br>
Laura<br>
dd Molly 03/04<br>
bean 11/07/07
 

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That's why I left my dd's with a sitter yesterday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I'll take them to my regular visits, but no pap visits.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/spitdrink.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="spitdrink"><br><br>
funniest thing I've heard in a long time!!<br><br>
I always bring DS as well, and its at the point now where he must stay behind the line...he's been asking all kinds of penis/vulva related questions (which I dont mind answering); but, he's getting a bit too much information for a 4 year old!
 

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ha!!! that is so funny! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I am so interested in seeing what my kids will have to say about all of this. The two youngest are so precocious!<br><br>
This story was TOO funny!!! Oh my gosh...
 

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I have to take our 17 month son toour next ob -- by my self -- as babysitter is not avaiable.<br><br>
I know it is gonna be a story -- but i fear not as cute as your's.<br><br>
AImee
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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That just made my day...especially the part about explaining to your DH that he's never seen critters in YOUR parts!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> that is so funny!
 
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