Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,942 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So dd was invited to a 3rd birthday party. Dh and I took her and there were lots of kids from daycare. There were a total of 3 infants. (6m, 4m, 1m). I am very close with the mom of the youngest. She asked to borrow my hosp grade pump and I had it in my car to give to her. I thought she was totally committed to BF. She's not.<br><br>
I was so disappointed to see all babies with bottles of formula, especially the youngest whose mom was there but just said she would rather give a bottle in public. She talked about the baby sleeping longer at night (6 h) and her refusing to catch up during the day (if baby wants to nurse before it's "time" she just gives formula). I tried to make comments about growth spurts and that my dd nursed every 2 hours because she slept well at night, etc. But it was just so sad for me to see the trend.<br><br>
The oldest baby's mom was away for a week long business trip so the dad was walking around saying "my wife wouldn't give him bottles, women don't know how to feed babies". Then he saw me looking and added, "They only know how to BF". Dh replied, "no complaints here! I'm so glad my wife only BF our DD". I don't think the guy processed the comment. It was a lot to see, especially the one month old who was rooting and the mom was right there but didn't nurse. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: She also mentioned she thought she saw white patches in the baby's mouth and if it's thrush, that it may be her opportunity to transition to FF. Ugh!!!! We battled thrush for months. Poor baby!<br><br>
When we were leaving I asked Dh what he would say if I told him I was not planning to nurse if we had another. He said he would take me to a lab to have me DNA tested because he wouldn't believe I was his wife. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I hope my pump is put to good use for that baby!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,132 Posts
I don't know if I would have loaned it to the woman, it seems like she's already made up her mind about using formula, but who knows, maybe the baby will get more breastmilk this way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,235 Posts
I can relate all to well...It's such a downer to be surrounded by seemingly educated and perfectly healthy mamas and their ff fed babes. Thankfully, the majority of the parties/get together I attend are made up of LLL mamas and their kiddos. Usually, when I am at a party of my older dcs friends - the babies don't even see past their own baby bucket/car seat. Atleast when you feed a baby with a bottle you can give them the same soft touch of mama...not just prop up the bottle and rock the seat with your foot. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I can't imagine wih all the hype surrounding bfing that a woman cannot make it rhough her pg without knowing the benefits....13 yrs ago maybe - today? no way. no excuse.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
183 Posts
Yup yup yup<br>
I've been there too.<br>
I belong to a playgroup for my oldest, and all the infants are formula fed. I sort of get the feeling sometimes that me and my nudey boobs are tolerated. I'm sure I would freak some people out if I started hursing my 2 1/2 year old during playdates!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
310 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>leafwood</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7269959"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She also mentioned she thought she saw white patches in the baby's mouth and if it's thrush, that it may be her opportunity to transition to FF. Ugh!!!! We battled thrush for months. Poor baby!<br><br>
(snip)<br><br>
I hope my pump is put to good use for that baby!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
You are a kind soul to want to help a new mother who is trying to breastfeed. It can be very frustrating to see the "train wreck" approaching due to misinformation or poor choices.<br><br>
If the baby does have thrush, you might want to reconsider the pump loan ... or if she is already using it, you might not want to take it back. If this is a double-electric pump meant for personal use (like the Medela Pump In Style, etc.), then the same air flows over milk and into the motor. It is at least theoretically possible for thrush, bacteria, etc. to be harbored in places that cannot be cleaned, much less sterilized. For this reason, LLL <a href="http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVJunJul04p54.html" target="_blank">suggests</a> that mothers not share pumps of this sort and not use secondhand ones.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,942 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>songbh</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7271982"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If the baby does have thrush, you might want to reconsider the pump loan ... or if she is already using it, you might not want to take it back. If this is a double-electric pump meant for personal use (like the Medela Pump In Style, etc.), then the same air flows over milk and into the motor. It is at least theoretically possible for thrush, bacteria, etc. to be harbored in places that cannot be cleaned, much less sterilized. For this reason, LLL <a href="http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVJunJul04p54.html" target="_blank">suggests</a> that mothers not share pumps of this sort and not use secondhand ones.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
Thanks for the advice. Fortunately, I have an Ameda hospital grade pump. It's a huge beast <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> , the kind that are rented out to multiple people. Trust me, after dealing with thrush myself with dd, I would have thrown it away if there were any chance of contaminating myself/baby again!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
80 Posts
That reminds me of a girl who was having her first baby that said she realy wanted to breastfeed both of her sister Couldn't (IE gave up after a few weeks)<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> and who were not very supportive of her breastfeeding so I was trying to help her she asked for advice and she was having latch on problems which a nipple shield helped with, but she did not like nip and would give the baby a bottle with pumped milk when she was out I was trying to help her with getting rid of the nipple shield when the baby was able to nurse better so she did not feel like it was to hard to nip and did not need to use a bottle. Come to find out she still won't nip she doesn't feel comfortable and now apparently she think I am judging her and looking down on her for using a bottle. (this is what her MIL told me) I never said anything I was just trying to encourage her so she did not ended up loosing her milk by using a bottle to much. I am so frustrated I do not evan know if the baby is still nursing and she won't even talk to me. The only thing I can think of was i would ocasionaly look at her with the bottle and wonder if there was anything I could do to help her not need it. Apparently she took that as me giving her the evil eye. It seems like there are so many women that have a hard time and automaticly use the bottle and then they resent when they get incouraged to not use it unless absolutly necessary so they do not loose their milk especially in the first few weeks.<br>
I am getting frustrated when I try to help people because they end up with problems or not nursing because they won't listen to any of the sugestions anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top