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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When my ex sued me for custody/visitation last June it was his mom's idea, with his sisters support. They knew it would piss me off, because he was asking for WAY more than DS could have handled. Ex's sister had a baby at the end of September. She got a letter today saying her ex is suing her for custody/visitation. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief"> She called me today asking for help in trying to *win* (her ex is asking for 2 overnights a week, every other weekend from 6 pm fri to 6 pm sun, 6 weeks in the summer, and every other holiday). The baby is a little over 2 months old, and is breastfeeding (but will be quiting soon for other reasons). When she called she said that she needed help because she can't afford a lawyer (the good news is her ex isn't getting one either). She was practically begging me to help her. Coming from the girl who was supporting her brother in taking MY son away when he was 7 months old, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and had NEVER been away from me at the time. She admitted that at the time she thought I was just being overprotective and she thought I was a loney for not just giving ex what he asked for (3-4 days a week for 4-6 hours each day, every other weekend fri-sun, every other holiday, and 6 weeks in the summer- which was when we went to court so it would have been immediate). She now knows all too well why I fought like h*ll to keep my son from having to go through that right now (and I "won" with ex getting visits starting at 3 days a week for 1 hour each visit, in October it moved to 3 days a week for 2 hours, and in November it moved to 3 days a week for 3 hours. It should have moved to 2 days a week for 4 hours a day but ex declined and wanted to stay at 3 hour days). After making her feel like a small a$$ for what she helped put me through I gave her all the advice I had and told her I would help if she had any questions. But only because I would hate to see DS's cousin go through long visits away from his mom. I have to admit though, I do find it slightly funny. What's that saying? What goes around comes around? Oh, and her mom- who was the main reason my ex sued me- was in the background gripping about how "stupid this is" and "what kind of person would take an infant from his mom" and "I can't believe how selfish some people are, he doesn't really want the baby- his mom is going to be watching him the whole time"...... sounds eerily familiar. :LOL
 

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I think that's very ironic too.<br><br>
I hope, for you & your little boy, that they will now have more understanding and compassion towards you and maybe this situation will allow everyone to put Owen's needs first. (Can you tell I'm an eternal optimist!)<br><br>
Good for you for taking the high road and offering to help! Maybe this will help remind them of the person that you are and they will be more understanding of you!
 

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One word. Karma.<br><br>
I firmly believe what goes around comes around.
 

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Definately karma coming around to bite them in the behind. Sorry it ended up this way, but I'm glad to hear that your ex's family is finally able to see your side of things.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mistymama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">One word. Karma.<br><br>
I firmly believe what goes around comes around.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><br><br>
ITA<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Steph .. all I can say is ...<br><br>
:LOL<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Hurray, Steph! Way to take the high road AND help your ds's cousin! And I do hope your SIL will have/find an opportunity to thank you in some amazing way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Mini-update....<br><br>
She took my advice and attempted to talk to the baby's dad. They talked today and agreed that it would be better for him (Ethan- the baby) if they agreed on some things instead of leaving it up to the court. The dad said that he didn't really want overnights- he just wanted to see if he could get them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: She printed the following and both of them signed it. She is going to take it to the court for the Judge to see/approve.<br><br>
"*Holidays- Both parents get time with Ethan.<br><br>
*Every other weekend:<br>
Fridays- 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.<br>
Saturdays- 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.<br>
Sundays- 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.<br><br>
2 Evenings a week:<br>
(days change frequently) Day1: times change frequently<br>
Day 2: 4 hour blocks<br><br>
This schedule is subject to change at any time. This is for the age of 3 months. As Ethan gets older time will change. Ethan is NOT to stay the night. This is our own agreement, the court order is a guideline This is the ONLY real agreement. The 6 weeks in the summer will be discussed as summer gets closer.<br><br>
both signed and dated.<br><br><br><br>
Rules for BOTH parents.<br><br>
1. you take care/suprevise of Ethan at all times. NOT family.<br>
2. No smoking around Ethan at ANY time.<br>
3. One parent must do one or the other pick up or drop off Ethan alone! with the exception of family.<br>
4. If anyone is sick including Ethan visitation will need to be rescheduled.<br>
5. you need your own suppilies. (diapers, wipes, formula, car seat, bed, and toys)<br>
6. Ethan will not be subjected to ANY violence.<br><br>
signed and dated."<br><br>
So all is well for now. The only thing I don't like is the every other weekend thing. So one week Ethan sees his dad for 8 hours and the next week he sees him for 20. Then back to 8?? Kinda seems odd to me. I think it would be better for Ethan to have more frequent visits (say, 3 or 4 days a week for 4 hours each time) instead of the every other weekend thing. But hey, it's not my kid.<br><br>
As far as ex's mom--- I don't know if she really "gets" it yet. She made a comment to me about how she is "sitting on the fence looking at both sides" but nothing about how she was SO IN THE WRONG before.<br><br>
ETA- okay, she just told me that her ex just told her that he doesn't think he'll even take the baby for those 2 evenings every week. So he basically wants him every other weekend. She asked him why he wouldn't take him during the week and he said he was "too busy". I warned her that going almost 2 weeks between seeing his dad will probably be pretty hard on Ethan. Not much more I can do right now.
 
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