We had some issues around here with hitting and yelling. It was
sometime after dd's father's exit, but with kids you never know
when they will choose to share their emotion. My normally sweet
and gentle gal would just freak, with no rhyme or reason to it. It
would just happen. Twice she slapped me full across the face.
I had to restrain her a couple of times because we were outside
and she tried to run into traffic. During some of these times, either
violent or loud (or both) I would hold dd and tell her over and over
that her emotions are valid but Mama can't help until we calm down.
If there was no calming down then I would ask her if she would
like to scream or hit. If she said yes then I would allow her to
yell or hit the pillow (these worked better if we were at home).
I talk to dd during, and then again later. If during the day I would
talk to her calmly at bedtime. If the freak out was during bedtime
I would talk to her the next day. It took sometime but I feel like
my dd is able to express her emotions healthy now. She hasn't
had a freak out in a LONG time.
Threw my actions I have tried to allow dd to know that she can
express herself, but that yelling at me or hitting is not exceptable.
She knows she wouldn't like being yelled at or hit, and Mama
doesn't either. I have tried to make time for us to talk before bed.
Just letting her talk about what ever she wants.
My dd was four when she started this behavior and she will be
turning 6 in june. So it's been a journey. I try to remind myself
that children many times take out the hard emotions with the
parent that they feel safest with. They know that we will be
there for them in the end. They know there is nothing they can
do that would make us love them less. So many times we have
to take on the crazy emotions that they bottle up in there head.
Emotions that at this age they don't have many words for. So
it can erupt all at once in a rage they don't even understand.
's to you Mama. It gets better. I swear.