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Discussion Starter #1
<p>DH went away for three weeks and I was happy, relaxed, and confident. He's been back for two weeks and I am so unhappy, stressed out and feeling worthless.</p>
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<p>I did talk to him about our communication issues and he didn't shut me out like he has done in the past, but it's too early to know if anything will change. I'm trying to stay open to the possibility of things changing, but it's hard to be hopeful.</p>
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<p>There's not really much point to this post, except to be able to express it.</p>
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<p>If you've read this, thank you!</p>
 

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<p>I have been staying at my parents for two weeks while the house was worked on and am super nervous that going back home with dp is going to be stressful-we get along really well over the phone, not so well in person, lol!  Maybe this break has done us good (we weren't intentionally taking a break, the house was just unlivable for kids) and we will come back refreshed and ready to continue working on our relationship-that is my hope-but I am definitely feeling nervous about the possibility that we are both happier apart :(</p>
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<p>So-I understand where you are coming from and hope that it gets better for you!</p>
 

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<p>I've been thinking about you and whether you were able to have the discussion given his sister's situation (if I'm remembering that correctly).  Hugs to you!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #5
<p>His sister's situation is better, she's been given an excellent prognosis for full recovery.</p>
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<p>We did talk, but not much has changed, so far anyway. In his worst moments (at least the moments that bother me the most) he really believes his behavior is fine and I'm the one with the problem so no matter what I say he doesn't see the need for him to change.</p>
 

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<p>i'm sorry.  that's a pretty strong indication that his behavior will not change, since he doesn't think it's a problem.  hang in there!</p>
 

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I'm sorry. That's unfortunately pretty typical, and a very strong indication that things won't change. It's pretty rare for them to take responsibility for their actions.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Wild Lupine</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1280687/oh-my-i-am-so-miserable#post_16067787"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br>
We did talk, but not much has changed, so far anyway. In his worst moments (at least the moments that bother me the most) he really believes his behavior is fine and I'm the one with the problem so no matter what I say he doesn't see the need for him to change.</div>
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Discussion Starter #8
<p>Two weeks on and the good times are better than usual. He might (might) be trying to take some of my requests for better communication. Or it could be because he's in an exceptionally good mood because he's getting a lot of kudos from many quarters for work-related accomplishments.</p>
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<p>However, the bad times are just as bad. Still randomly lashing out at me for things that are really his fault. He hurt DD again yesterday (squeezed her foot until she cried because she was kicking the car seat). I don't care how good the good stuff is, inflicting pain on the children can't continue. I'm still working on my plan to leave and get physical custody, and have everything packed in case we need to make a quick departure. I wish I could put things into place faster, but we are sssooooo broke. I'm contacting a lawyer this week about custody issues and have let a couple more IRL friends in on what's happening.</p>
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<p>If you're following, thanks for listening!</p>
 

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<p>Perhaps you could send him an email requesting marital counseling so you'd have his likely denial in writing.</p>
 
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