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Ok, I'm going to try and keep it short and simple.<br><br>
We are currently on the hunt for a new apartment. We can not renew the lease on the current apartment because it is company owned and my husband will be changing companies next year. We are however hoping to stay in the same complex.<br><br>
I put an apartment Wanted sign up in the office stating that we were looking for three bedroom apartments but that we would consider two bedrooms as well (we currently live in a two bedroom but my husband would desperately like a three bedroom as we have a 2 year old, another baby due in August, and frequent visitors). I immediately got a call on a two bedroom apartment, went to see it a half an hour later, and loved it.<br><br>
I got a few more calls for three bedrooms but they were out of our price range. So, I called the landlord on the two bedroom and asked her if she would hold the apartment for us for one week while the details of my husband's contract were being sorted out. After one week, if his contract was definite, we would like to rent the apartment and, if his contract was a no-go we wouldn't be able to. She agreed, his job worked out and we got together to discuss the particulars.<br><br>
My husband doesn't love the apartment (he thinks it's a bit small) but he is ok with it. We already told them that we would sign the contract on Monday BUT.......<br><br>
This past week I got a call on a three bedroom apartment in the complex that is within our price range. I originally said that I didn't want to look at it but after talking to my husband (who really, really, really wants a three bedroom) I relented and we looked at the apartment last night.<br><br>
I don't love the three bedroom but it is nice. My husband, loves it. It is very spacious, well kept, newer than the two bedroom, and is on the first floor so there is a nice, enclosed yard/patio space for the kids. At first I wasn't too worried about things because about three different things would have to fall into place perfectly for us to rent this place. Now however, it seems as if everything is falling into place <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yikes"><br><br>
So, wise ladies, here is my quandary. I already told the two bedroom landlords that we would sign this Monday. I love the space but my husband is not thrilled and it is a bit small. We could sign on the three bedroom this weekend. My husband loves the three bedroom and would be a million times happier there, it is bigger and we could use the space but I would feel really bad about backing out of the two-bedroom deal.<br><br>
What do I do??? Do I go with the two bedroom because I already told them I would or do I go for the three bedroom because it is a better fit for our family and my husband would be happier??? (For the record, I would be equally happy in both)<br><br>
HELP!!!
 

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I see your dilemma!!<br><br>
Okay, this is what I would do. I would simply explain the situation exactly as you have done here to the landlord of the 2 bed. Say you've got one kid and another on the way and that your DH *really* wants a 3 bed. Say that you really liked the 2 bed, but since you agreed to rent it an opportunity has come up for a 3 bed instead and that would really suit your family's needs better. Briefly apologise for backing out, but reassure them that with such a lovely apt. they'll easily find someone else to rent it. (You might want to skip the apology - I'm a compulsive apologiser!!) Thank them for being so understanding and helpful and promise to recommend their flat to anyone you know who's looking to rent right now.<br><br>
Then go and sign the lease on the 3 bed!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"> I agree. You have not signed anything, and as a seller it is (imo) accepted that contracts that aren't full blown contracts might fall through in between verbal agreement and signing. Be honest, explain your situation as you have done so honestly, and choose the home that would be best for your whole family. With the 3bdrm you might be able to stay in one place longer, where as with the two bedroom you could possibly be needing the extra space by your newest DC's 2nd birthday. You aren't backing out on a signed agreement, and you haven't asked them to hold the place for you for a long time either. IMO, you are perfectly positioned to back out for a better/more appropriate space for your family to live.<br><br>
Congratulations on the addition to your family and I hope that you find the perfect place. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Go with the three bedroom apartment.<br><br>
Let the 2-bedroom landlords know that you won't be taking that apartment.<br><br>
I totally understand feeling guilty about backing out after you asked them to hold it but you aren't doing anything wrong.
 

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Go with the 3 bedroom. Apologize to the 2 bedroom folks. Then move on and enjoy the 3 bedroom <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
It will be disappointing to the 2 bedroom folks, and they did kind of go out of their way for you, but such is life. It does not balance for you to move in there in order to save them the disappointment.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">What do I do??? Do I go with the two bedroom because I already told them I would or do I go for the three bedroom because it is a better fit for our family and my husband would be happier??? (For the record, I would be equally happy in both)</td>
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Your husband's wishes here totally trump a verbal almost-commitment to apartment owners!<br><br>
They knew they were taking a chance as you said something about the contracts having to be worked out.<br><br>
I don't really see why this is even a question! Which would you rather have--a happy husband or happy landlords??
 

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Go with the 3 bedroom. I can understand feeling bad, but it's not worth putting your family in a less-than-ideal living situation for years.
 

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It kinda sounds like YOU want the 2br and your DH wants the 3br... I wouldn't be upset at all. I am a landlord and I am totally used to people changing their minds, I would tell her your sorry, and what not.<br><br>
Honestly it just sounds to me that you want the appt and your dh doesn't.<br><br>
I would go with the 3br, especially if it made my dh happy. I like making him happy lol
 

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You say you like the 2bd better, but you don't say what's better about it. The 3bd has more room, outdoor space, is on the first floor so you don't have to keep the kids as quiet. Sounds good to me.<br><br>
And what you tell the 2bd landlords is "Hi, it's not going to work out to rent your apartment. Thank you for holding it for me, I hope you rent it soon, good bye."
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Oh the Irony</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15405690"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Your husband's wishes here totally trump a verbal almost-commitment to apartment owners!<br><br>
They knew they were taking a chance as you said something about the contracts having to be worked out.<br><br>
I don't really see why this is even a question! Which would you rather have--a happy husband or happy landlords??</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
And, just for the record, when you tell the 2-BR landlord you won't be moving in, just give an apology, not a long explanation. "I am sorry but it didn't work out," or something. Not a detailed blow-by-blow.
 

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I'd go with the 3 bedroom and just explain what happened. Apologize and say you'll send anyone their way who you find looking for an apt, etc.
 

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Three bedroom for sure. Babies take up more space than one would think.<br><br>
Just apologize to the other landlord.
 

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I agree with the other folks here. Maybe you could take some banana bread to the 2-bedroom landlords. Unexpected banana bread smooths over lots of issues.
 

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i think it's easy enough to say to the 2-br landlords "i'm sorry, but we won't be able to take the apartment. I do hope you quickly find new renters!" and then, go and get the 3 br. you don't even have to explain to the 2 br landlords.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I definitely agree with you about making my husband happy vs. making the landlords happy. I do still think it is a bit remiss to verbally agree to something only to back out at the last minute but if the three bedroom works out, that is what I will do.<br><br>
For those of you wondering why I prefer the two bedroom, here are my reasons:<br><br>
- The two bedroom apartment has better light. I would rarely need to use the apartment lights because the natural lighting is so good. The three bedroom apartment does have a small outdoor space but the light doesn't come into the apartment nearly as much.<br><br>
- I like the layout of the two bedroom better. The three bedroom does have an extra room but the entire floor plan doesn't "feel" as nice. I know this is completely subjective but when I walked into the two bedroom I immediately loved it and I loved the space. I don't feel that way about the three bedroom.<br><br>
- The two bedroom landlords are easier to deal with. Let me give you an example. Both of the apartments are currently completely furnished by the landlord. We own all or our own furniture and would like to keep our own things (especially with kids we want anything that might get broken/stained to be our own). The two bedroom landlords have agreed to sell/store all of their things so we will start with an entirely empty space. The three bedroom landlords are willing to get rid of two beds and two t.v. stands. So if we get the three bedroom we will have to get rid of some of our things that I like very much (especially the sofa, dining room table, and wardrobe). I feel like instead of starting out with a clean slate, I am now left trying to figure out how to work around their things and I hate that. I feel like it negates the space of having a three bedroom.<br><br>
- The two bedroom is $120 less per month than the three bedroom. It will be a bit of a stretch/sacrifice to afford it and I would rather put that extra money into paying off student loans early.<br><br>
If it is really important to my husband to get the three bedroom, that is what I will do. I might be a bit grumbly about it for a week but I'll get over it. If the three bedroom doesn't work out for some reason, my husband will be fine with the two bedroom (he will probably be grumbly for a week though).<br><br>
I'll keep you updated. We are supposed to sign the two bedroom contract on Monday afternoon. I told the three bedroom owners that if they want to rent to us (and it seems that they do although not badly enough to get rid of all of their stupid furniture), I would need a signed contract Monday morning. I don't want to lose out on the great two bedroom if I am not sure the three bedroom will work out.<br><br>
Did I also mention that we live in China and I have been doing all of the negotiating/translating? This is way beyond my skill level and I am exhausted.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">- The two bedroom landlords are easier to deal with. Let me give you an example. Both of the apartments are currently completely furnished by the landlord. We own all or our own furniture and would like to keep our own things (especially with kids we want anything that might get broken/stained to be our own). The two bedroom landlords have agreed to sell/store all of their things so we will start with an entirely empty space. The three bedroom landlords are willing to get rid of two beds and two t.v. stands. So if we get the three bedroom we will have to get rid of some of our things that I like very much (especially the sofa, dining room table, and wardrobe). I feel like instead of starting out with a clean slate, I am now left trying to figure out how to work around their things and I hate that. I feel like it negates the space of having a three bedroom.</td>
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This changes everything. I now say two bedroom. Who wants other people's stuff like that?
 

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I understand why you prefer the two bedroom, but I have to say go with the three bedroom without a doubt. Four people in a two bedroom can either be tight or cozy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> but add any guests and it will be uncomfortable. We are in a 1000sq ft house. It is okay, but right now I have no idea where my MIL will be sleeping when she visits next month. K's train table replaced the futon. I so wish we had the extra bedroom.<br><br>
How long will you be in the apartment? If it were only for a year...maybe...I might go with the smaller apartment if you REALLY will be putting the extra money towards school loans.<br><br>
As a side note, it is probably DH wise to go with the bigger one. As soon as a guest arrived and it were uncomfortably tight, I know mine would definitely have comments.
 

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I wouldn't get rid of my sofa for an extra bedroom in an apartment.<br><br>
I think the 2br might be a better choice, plus $1000+ paid off on loans would be nice. Can you and your dh resolve this easily?
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Irishmommy - I know. Besides, I like my things - that is why I bought them.<br><br>
Bug-a-boo - We are planning on living wherever we move for three or four years. I know how tight a two bedroom can be. When guests come, there is a hotel within two blocks walking distance that we often put people up in. It costs $14/night (we're in China). We rarely let guests, even family, stay in our home. We really would be putting the money into student loans (I manage the budget and I run a pretty tight ship).
 
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