Oh the stress

hello all, I am fairly new to the boards but boy do I have some stress right now. My dh is due to retire from the army (he starts outprocessing this month eeek) and his final work day will be the end of the month. The military has a period of "terminal leave" which basically means he doesn't have to go to work but still has a paycheck. The paychecks end Dec 1. So, after 5 years of being a sahm I am scared to death I may have to go back to work for a small time until we get settle in to this new lifestyle. I respect that it is a huge change for him after being in for 20 years but I feel a little selfish in the "need support" category. I have already told him that if I need to work I will do it on nights and weekends. It will stink for a while but it is better than putting my 3yo ds in day care. I just couldn't do it. Plus knowing I could waitress or something and make in 2 or 3 nights what I could in a 40 hour work week seems to make more sense. So here we are. Its August. We don't know where he will find a job. We don't know if we will move (keep in mind I REALLY want to move back home to FL). I am a new doula and working on becoming a childbirth educator so the stress of possibly having to put all of that one hold is there, too. I don't feel like I can commit to doula clients this fall since I don't know if we will move or not. Of course there is always the possibity that he will get offered a wonderful job in FL making $60 thousand a year and I'll feel like a butt for even worrying about it! HA!! A girl can dream.

So I guess after all of that I just need a place to vent to people who understand and support how important it is for me to stay at home. Whew.. that helps already