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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, I was hoping you ladies could give me some advice here. My dd is 13 months old and has started to do some serious whinning-for just about anything/everything.Dh says I should just ignore the behavior or it will encourage it to continue. I feel like what other way does she have to communicate her needs when she is not very verbal? I can't ask her to use 'her words" She knows sign language and like 4 words-not nearly enough to convey what she wants. Any advice~it truly is annoying but I don't think ignoring it is the way to go either.....
 

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13 months is VERY young! I was expecting to open this thread about a 3 year old! I would simply repeat back to her, in the tone of voice you prefer, what you think she needs. So, it would go something like this:<br><br>
Baby-Maaaaamaaaaaaaaa. Waaaaaaawaaaaaaa!<br>
Mom-Baby, did you say you wanted water? Oh, here you go! (nice chipper voice)<br>
Baby-Maaaaaaaamaaaaaaaa!!! Ehhhhheeeheheheh!!<br>
Mom-Oh, sweetie, is that block not staying upright? Here, do you want me to help you?<br><br>
And so on. I think at this age, the whining is really not so much to be aggravating as it is just learning the language skills, you know?
 

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I understand how it can ride your nerves after awhile-- we call my 16-month-old DD "Moaning Myrtle." But really at this age it's not a behavioral issue. They communicate with grunts and whines and babbling, until they learn to use words, and it's normal and natural.<br><br>
To ignore it would be to ignore her attempts at communicating, and that's not what you really want to be doing.<br><br>
Wait until she can speak reliably in short sentences, and has enough emotional control to calm herself down when she's upset, and when she is able to have a conversation with you about what whining is and how annoying it is. My DD was getting close to 3 when I started to discourage whining. We remind her to calm herself down and ask civilly for what she needs and wants, and then help her to do so.
 

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At such a young age, it sounds to me like she is just trying to communicate. I would reward her efforts by responding and helping her learn the words she needs to communicate more effectively.<br><br>
Ignoring her efforts to communicate seems like a surefire way to increase her frustration and cause more whining/cryingfrustration. She's just a baby and is communicating by using the only tools she has at this point.<br><br>
I know it can be frustrating but this phase will pass as she learns to communicate more effectively. It is so exciting to watch as they build a vocabulary! Best wishes!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks~you all seem to feel the same way I do about this....I need to have dh read your responses as for now he just keeps telling me "well there's your attachment parenting for ya!"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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I agree with the other posters. At 13 months she is just learning to communicate. She can't even comprehend doing anything to intentionally annoy you until at least 13 <i>years</i> old. LOL.<br><br>
At this point, she is just learning to verbalize and it isn't called whining. Please, please, please don't ignore her attempts to try and communicate with you. It will only bring frustration and tears for the both of you.<br><br>
Enjoy these precious attempts. All too soon she'll be able to tell you directly what she wants and what she doesn't want (with attitude)<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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