[KristaDJ]

I dealt with my first period after the miscarriage just fine but my body is trying to ovulate now and it's making me sad all over again. Thinking about what my body is trying to do, what it wants right now.... what it can't have; it's just so messed up. I know that we could have unprotected sex just once and I would be pregnant but what is the freakin point if the baby just dies?! I know that I can never risk that again, that I can't go through that or put my family through that again and I don't even know what caused my babies to die as they all seemed to have very different issues. Why can't my stupid uterus just get the hint? I don't even want another baby anymore, the thought of a baby terrifies me but oh boy do I long to go through the third trimester and give birth again. I wish I'd know that last time was my last time. I would have taken more pictures, I would've taken video of her moving inside me, I would have spent more time just in awe of the baby growing in my body. I would have NEVER complained. I can't even relate to those women who know nothing of loss anymore. I'm so glad that I have this place to get my feelings out. I can talk to my husband about most of it but this hormonal stuff just makes him feel helpless. Thank you for listening <3

 

[lollie2357]

I'm so sorry, Krista.

 

[L J]

Oh Krista, I am so sorry. My heart just breaks for you; you have suffered so much. I think about you all the time, and wish you peace. Much love, mama.

 

[sagewinna]

I am holding you close to my heart tonight, Krista.

 

[KristaDJ]

Thanks mamas <3 today has been much better.

 

[RoseRedHoofbeats]

I wish I'd know that last time was my last time. I would have taken more pictures, I would've taken video of her moving inside me, I would have spent more time just in awe of the baby growing in my body. I would have NEVER complained. I can't even relate to those women who know nothing of loss anymore.

I feel exactly the same way. *hugs*

I hope that whatever you decide to do- try again or stop- brings your peace and joy and happiness.

~Rose

 

[KristaDJ]

Thank you

 

[MegEliz]

Krista I am so sorry that you have gone through so much - it is fair that these things happen ~ i am thinking about ya girl ~

 

[momz3]

I just wanted to say that I've felt like you have felt before. I remember being angry after our stillbirth. Screaming I wanted my tubes tied and didn't want any other kids. I know how you feel. Then, we adopted and he died of SIDS at 2 months. I felt so defeated. I am hoping that time will bring you some sort of peace during this time. Multiple losses are a hard thing to deal with.