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Beacuse I think it made my LO a MONSTER...Yep and I have read quite a few post around here that people were feed up with there needy DC...My LO cries all the time.I cant use the toliet by myself ,I cant workout I did a 30 min workout this morning and guess what my LO cried the whole time talk about STRESS....I cant go to dinner with him beacuse he wants to scream the whole meal and play look boob no boob he wants to show his food off I guess,or wants what there eating and my lo is not beaning feed the garbage at chain resteraunts...I worry with all his crying or screaming that he is going to have a lowered immune system beacuse it seems like he is stressed when hes not being held,do you think that could happed?..I have Diastis bad and all the holding him has really took a toll on me and stress has had me in the junk food I cant even relax to yoga before bed beacuse my lo wants me in bed with him...What do I do?I think AP parenting is a good concept CIO seems really harsh but is there a in between?
 

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I will be frank: 7 months sucked. You will be able to pee without someone yelling for you shortly. Imagine how much worse it would be if you weren't meeting his needs. A docile child who doesn't bother to ask for what he wants because he knows you won't respond isn't better prepared for life.
 

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Take heart, 7mo is a big "hold me don't leave me" phase. I don't think it is fair to blame ap. your ds is still a baby and won't be pointing at your boobs forever.
: I think you need to take a deep breath. Remember your ds will benefit in so many really good psychological ways from true ap. This too shall pass

(((Hugs))) momma

I know how it is my ds is 10 mo and still crys some days when I have to go to the bathroom and put him down. I try to remember he is going through so many growth spurts, he needs my support... kwim
 

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I also think it is more about temperment.

My child is 14 years old. I did the AP parenting, before it was popular. Before the internet, and when everybody I knew was against it. But, she was an easy going child.

The one thing I couldn't do was co-sleep. I just couldn't sleep with her in my bed. SO, I started training her to sleep in her own bed, in her own room. That was when she was about 3 months old. Then it was all undone at about 16 months when she broke her leg. Retraining her took another six years after that.

I'm not suggesting you stop co-sleeping, or making any changes, but I do think you can make some changes that work for your family. Not every chapter in the book will work for you. If baby wearing is too hard on you physically, you really need to take care of yourself. You can't sacrifice your own health to meet every single one of your child's needs. If you are in chronic pain, you need to take care of that. In a few years when your son wants you to teach him to play soccer, you need to be in good health.

One thing I did, that seemed fine at the time, was carry my daughter EVERYWHERE. Even when she was capable of walking on her own. This was before mei tais and ergos... I carried her on my left hip. Then one day, I started having pain in my left heel. Then my hip started to hurt. 10 years later, I have chronic hip pain because I didn't listen to my body. I can't even cross my legs or sit criss cross style on the floor.

BUT, in the long run, I have a well adjusted happy teenager who is involved with lots of good activities. At one time, I thought she would only want to play with me for the rest of her life. But, as in all teens, she would rather hang out with her friends. I like her friends, she makes good friend choices. She talks openly with me about any subject at all. I never punished her. She was never spanked, or sent to time out, or sent to her room. Her "punishment" for doing something wrong was to fix what she did. She told me the truth, her whole life. She would confess before I asked sometimes. Because I didn't yell at her. But, she was always responsible for the choices she made, and had to fix what she did. Then, it was over. Never brought up again.

So, in my opinion, yes, it does work. But, maybe it ALL doesn't work for you and your situation. You MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU. I promise, if you just let everything about you go away, you and your son will regret it later.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquafina View Post
7mo

I usually had to take her to the bathroom with me at 7 months too.

Also, it happens again at 18 months, and once more at three years.

Then Kindergarten starts and they barely even look back at you as they walk into class.
 

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and you think ap did this? Don't you think that maybe your child is a high needs infant? Sure sounds like it to me. My son is/was a very high needs newborn/infant and toddler. He's 4 now and really a bright energetic drama-queen kind of guy... I think that if I had mainstreamed parented him he would not be the wonderfully vibrant unique individual he IS today. He would have had to quash his true self in order to cio, etc.

Yes, it sucks to hold your child every moment of every day... but itwill pay off eventually! really, it will!
 

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I KNOW it helped. I didn't plan on being as AP as I was (and I'm not NEARLY as AP as some of the mamas here!
Not a bad thing!), but DD just wouldn't LET some of the things I planned happen. She REFUSED to sleep by herself and to be put down, etc. It's fine. I got to spend that much more time cuddling her, smelling her, memorizing every tiny detail about her. And I got that much more sleep!
Fortunately for us, DD was happier the more mobile she became. By six months, she was sitting up by herself (not for terribly long periods of time, mind you) and she could see things from a different angle.

As for working out and such, there are several options you could try, but I'm not sure how feasible any of them are for you.
1) Get up a bit before him and do some yoga or such.
2) Have dp (if you're not single) watch him for a bit here and there so you can have a few minutes peace.
3) Get a membership at the YMCA. Ours has free daycare.
4) Set up a workout where the child can be involved. (For instance, use your child as a weight while you do squats or something...they usually think it's a game and you naturally build up the amount of weight you are lifting. They also have mama/baby yoga workouts and such.)
5) Put your child in a sling or stroller and go for walks around the neighborhood.
6) Hire a "mama's helper" (a teenager that comes over to play/hold ds while you pee, take a shower, have a workout, take a nap, etc. I did this and it helped TREMENDOUSLY. I told her that I would feed the baby and change the diapers and such. All she had to do was hold the baby. She could even watch TV if she wanted!!)

Just so you know, I've totally BTDT. I can't even TELL you how many times I've had to nurse while going #2!! (TMI I'm sure!
) And that doesn't really change...just so you know. Eventually, you will be going potty with the door open while telling your child to do/not do something and giving details about what you are doing, and then your child wants to SEE what you did, etc.


Feel free to PM if you want to talk more!
 

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I don't think we get to find out whether AP parenting helped until the children grow up, frankly. Certainly there is no way to know whether responding to your child's needs is making him express more needs (?) when he's only seven months old. My guess is that he would want what he wants whether you were nursing and cosleeping, or sleeping separately and feeding from a bottle.

I also had those problems of never getting to work out. My husband had him during the day at that age, and he just brought him into the bathroom. (Which had the interesting effect of accelerating his ability to flip light switches on and off--he figured out the bathroom light switch at 8 months.) Buy a jogging stroller so you can run or put the baby in a sling and take a walk. You can do double-duty that way--the time outside walking will help mellow the baby out, and you'll get to exercise.
 

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What you are describing is totally normal behavior for a 7 month old. Babies really need HUGE amounts of attention, sometimes just more than 1 person can give.

With DD I put her baby tub by the toilet in the bathroom lined in blankets (a bouncer would work) to put her in while I used the toilet. Sometimes I would have to rock it with my foot until I could finish up. Sometimes I had her in the sling (my Mom thought this was overkill but I really needed peace and quiet sometimes).

Eating out was not really an option when DD was in a fussy phase. And if we did I did not expect to be able to just sit and eat. I would nurse a few times, stand a nd bounce DD, hand her to Daddy while I wolfed my food down, or take the rest home in a doggy bag. Lot's of times I aimed a meal out to coincide with nap time and DD would nap in her sling.

I did lots of activities with DD in my lap on on the floor next to me in reach. I also remember doing a lot of things on the bed while DD slept. She needed a lot of contact during nap time so as long as she could feel me nearby I was free to do what ever.

Perhaps your partner could take the baby out for a walk while you do a work out? Or maybe you could alter your routine to include your baby in your routine. I'm thinking about books I've seen that show mommas working out with baby in lap, on their tummy, or on the floor with them. Have you thought about slinging the little one on your back?

I do not want to come across as critical...that is not at all where I am coming from. I remember all the touched out , frustrating days where I would have given anything for 30 minutes of uninterrupted time. I just wanted to share that what worked for me was to alter my expectations. I think AP parenting demands that to be doable. The first year I had to put my babies needs first to keep things working smoothly. Remember that the first year a baby's needs and wants are the same. When I adjusted my mental state and just surrendered to it I was happier and calmer. I also found going back to skin to skin contact, extra nursing with lots of eye gazing, and breathing deeply of the heavenly baby smell on DD's head really helped me to reconnect and relax.

Having said all that only you know if something is working. If you need to change something than do it. There is no one answer. There is no one AP way to do things. DO what you need to do to take care of you family, and that includes you.
 

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Okay- AP isn't something that "helps" or "works" It's just what's right.

Some kids are needier than others. Some ages are harder than others. No matter the parenting style.

AP is simply respecting your child's needs and parenting them in such a way.

-Angela
 

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My DS is 6 months old, and I haven't used the bathroom without him there with me, in, well, 6 months! The only time I get to go without him as an "audience" is when he is sleeping or if DP is home. And that doesn't happen that often.

I agree with Angela. AP is just what's right. I think in some ways it's easier than being mainstream, and in some ways it's harder. We know we need to respect our children's needs, and it isn't always fun or what's convenient. But it IS what's right.

There are days that I don't feel up to it either.
But I know he won't be little forever. And one day, I'll be able to go pee by myself, or eat lunch without having a baby in my lap.
 

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My son is 8.5 months old, and I agree that 7 (and 8) months is a tough, tough age. He went from a mellow little sweetheart to a shriek machine that bites everyone and needs constant, non-stop attention. We've skipped restaurant meals for a few weeks, and yes, I've had to bring the high chair into the bathroom if I want to pee. From what I understand about infant development, I think all of this would have happened regardless of our parenting style.

The last 6 - 8 weeks have been trying, but I know it's a phase, and it's already showing signs of passing. This past weekend our little guy was a pleasure to be around; no biting, no crazy meltdowns. He was fun to be around the whole weekend! That was such a relief.

Through the tough parts I've been reminding myself of a quote I read in an MDC thread a few months back: "The days are long, but the years are short." Some days that little mantra kept me from running off to join the circus.
mama, you're not alone.
 

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We don't CIO here, but the stories I have heard don't make it sound easier. There are stories of strong-willed children that cry for hours every night, only stopping when they vomit or fall asleep out of exhaustion. I have family that have done this for months before it worked. It's not a magic button.

You sound like you need some space. Is there a way to introduce a little distance between you and your son in a day? For us, we use a playpen occasionally. He will stay in it for about 10-15 minutes, one time a day, if he has an interesting toy. I worked him up to that amount of time from literally 60 seconds. But, now, at 9 months, I can put him down if I need to do something that doesn't include him. It's been really helpful. Maybe something similar?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by UmmBnB View Post
I think its more about temperment than parenting style.
: Being attached to your child and meeting their needs is the right thing to do but it will not change who a child is.
 

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Wait--I might be able to go to the bathroom alone someday?! Is that what you all are hinting at?

OP, I'll have to agree with the others. I don't think of AP as being something that creates a certain kind of child. Sure, how a parent interacts with their child will have lasting effects, no matter what parenting philosophy they go by. I think AP is more about respecting your child's needs now and being flexible enough to read their cues. It sounds like your child needs a little extra support sometimes. That's not because of you, but you are responsible for responding appropriately. All the difficult bits will pass--just keep being nurturing and as patient as you can. And take care of yourself so you have the energy to do that!
 
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