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ok help me come up with a solution...

336 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  IncaMama
here's our situation:

DS is 3yo, DD is 3mo

I have a VERY bad back so I have been sleeping in a recliner in a different room since Ava was born. She and I sleep downstairs (she sleeps in a moses basket next to me). DS sleeps with DH in the family bed. If I am in bed with DS, he nurses all night and is restless. if DS sleeps alone in bed with DH he sleeps like a rock, straight through.

we've been transitioning DS to his big boy bed ("truck" bed bc it has trucks on the sheets) for a while and he does great in it often. some days he'll sleep until 5 or 6am, but some days he'll wake at 3 or 4 and call out for me.

so here's the dilemma:
should i return to the family bed, with Ava (in cosleeper bc she doesn't love sleeping right next to me) and put DS in truck bed? if he wakes, and comes into family bed, he'll nurse for the rest of the night and have a very restless sleep. But if we put him in truck bed for the first part of the night and he wakes at 3 or 4, i'm not sure he'll "accept" it being just DH that comes to get him and put him in the family bed. he might call for me.

as i see it, we have 3 basic options:

1. keep it the way it was - DS and DH alone in family bed, DD and me downstairs. this gets us the most sleep, it seems, though we do sort of feel like this situation was supposed to be temporary and it feels a bit like our life is on hold. but i suppose we could just get over that feeling. LOL

2. put DS in truck bed, me in family bed, DD in cosleeper next to me. when DS wakes, bring him to family bed and suck it up (the pain from me being in weird positions, the restlessness from DS).

3. put DS in truck bed, me and DD downstairs. when DS wakes, try to have him soothed by just DH by putting him in family bed.

4. do option 2 or 3 with me in a recliner in the bedroom, but not IN the family bed.

we're also trying to figure out if we should set up DD's crib since she has shown us that she likes to sleep in her own space.

so many questions!!!!!!

wwyd??? if you can even follow this whole convoluted post. LOL
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If I were you, I would let dh and ds sleep in one bed and dd and I would sleep in another.

Then, you'd have 2 family beds.
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Personally I would set up DD's crib since she likes sleeping in her own area, ds who is 7 months is the same way. we co-slept for the first 4.5 months but he never slept as soundly as when we started him in his crib. I would also put ds in the truck bed, possibly in your room for the first few weeks and then slowly transition him in to his own room, then have DH help when he wakes up. i know how you feel with the bad back, something that I struggle with when ds sleeps with us and I get in to weird nursing positions.
well last night sucked. rowan FINALLY fell asleep in his truck bed (took about 40mins) around 8:40. DH and i stayed up late. at around 12:30, rowan woke up. i went back into his room to nurse him back to sleep but he started doing his restless thing...nurse, flop, flip, flop, nurse, sit up, roll over, flip, flop, nurse, etc...finally he seemed to be asleep. so i went back downstairs. 10 minutes later he was up again so i told DH to go up and just take him to bed, which he did. slept like a rock in the big bed with just DH after that.

of course, *i* was awakened 5 times from 1-6. 3 times by the dog, wanting to go out (WTF??) and twice by ava who wanted to nurse (again, WTF? that's not normal for her).

but at least i was reminded that it is not a good idea for me to sleep WITH ds...he just doesn't sleep as well.

now i just have to get the DOG to sleep through the night!!!
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