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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I can prepare my hubby for the acctual process of natural birth.

He's a medical man. He has faith in the "Medical System" and has only deffered to me for the homebirth because "Well you've been through it before and blahblahblah"

basicly the poor guy needs some prep. He has no clue on what to expect, he needs to realize that his fear, and his protectiveness has to be put on the backburner and I'll need his total and unwavering support.

I'm looking into showing him the Hypnobabies home study course (he was looking into hypnobirthing but I've heard some serious mixed reviews) or even Bradley classes for him to get more of a clue.

So books, links or whatever would be GREAT to get him started on the path of 'I really need to be prepared for this'

THANKS!
 

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i really LOVE The Birth Partner. dh liked it to- and he was SOOO Against reading anything! it explains what is going on with your body- and what he can do. it is pretty to the point.
i would definetly get that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilie
what have you read on the topic?
I'm fairly well educated. I had a homebirth with my first, and am planning a home water birth with this one. CNM's in Ontario attended my Homebirth with my DD, and am going to have CNM's with this one as well.

I know the whole cascade of interventions, I know the physiology, I know the Fear Fight or Flight response can and will hinder labour as well as other vibes that aren't so supportive as well.

See this is my second child, but my husband's first biological child/pregnancy/delivery. He doesn't know what to expect. He's got faith in the medical model, he doesn't know what my body will be doing, what will be going through my head possibly, nor does he know the best way to help me through. Unlike my last partner, my DH acctually WANTS to be involved.

I know what to expect, I know what to refuse, I'm pretty well educated on the whole process. Heck, I gotta see about North Island College and see if they have a nursing program so *I* can study to become a midwife or ALACE Doula/CBE...

I know more than him, hence why he's deffering to me in alot of aspects of this pregnancy. But if he wants to be involved, I want him to be educated and *there* Not *half there* It's all or nothing. Total support or get the heck out of my birth space cuz I dont need it
 

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oh goshhh... i just noticed it sounds like i was being rudde!!!! i am sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was thinking about how i would read a book- and then when i got dh in the car i would pound him with info!!!!!
i was trying to just chat- but it sounded wrong.... im sorry....
i really like birthing from within by pam england.
i would try on the trading post here for some books for him as well.
my dh came around.... it was interesting at first tho!!!! we had a bad hosp birth with #1- so i had that o draw from. birthing partner sounds like it is JUST what you are looking for!!!!! it covers it all- all that you mentioned!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilie
oh goshhh... i just noticed it sounds like i was being rudde!!!! i am sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was thinking about how i would read a book- and then when i got dh in the car i would pound him with info!!!!!
i was trying to just chat- but it sounded wrong.... im sorry....
i really like birthing from within by pam england.
i would try on the trading post here for some for him as well.
It's ok. LOL Some people dont have siggy's enabled in their preferances so it's no big deal. I dont expect everyone to read it lol. It was my bad assumption.

See me bombarding him with info won't work. He'll shut his brain to it. He's the type to do the research on his own and come to his own conclusions. He's a skeptic. Everytime I bring something up to him he always goes "Possibly" "Perhaps" "Mabe" even though there is countless scientific studies backing me up that he could go google for himself. If it comes out of my mouth it's automatically doubted, so I figure books will help him learn. If I tell him what I'll be going through in my own words, without some fancy shmancy MD/CNM/RN backing me up I'll get the "perhaps" "Mabe" "Possibly" response out of him.

I'm dealing with a skeptic here lol. So the books are to save my sanity really, I know what I'm talking about but he'll doubt me to the end without concrete referances.

I HATE having my knowledge doubted....especially IRT something I already went through, by a MAN who'll never go through it, who incedently happens to be my partner, whom I have implicit trust in (for once in my life I can trust a partner of mine) but doesn't trust me...

*sigh* So the books are a good start, Also getting him to research CBE courses to see which method would benefit HIM the most...and whatnot.
 

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know how you feel!!!! i bet it will all work out just great and your relationship will be the better for it! mine is..... cept that now anytime i say i cant do something dh says-yes you can you had a baby in our living room!!!!!lo
i had labored with dh for ds- and knew he would step up.... but with dd i worried more about his negative energy... but here are some graphic pics for you of my dh during my at home labor....
They are very graphic of me... so sorry.... dont look if you dont want to.... but his face is SOOOOOOO funny!
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/emilie5125/album
and click on birth pictures
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
He looks flippin terrified! Kinda like a "Holy F--- what did I get myself into!!!!"

Like my DH is a war veteran, he's done boarding party duty, he's an all around "tough guy" But I know under that rock hard exterior is a soft gushy guy. I've known him since we were kids (long conveluted story) so I know how he thinks.

I'll see if the midwives office lending library has the Birth Partner and Birthing from Within for him to read.

(note I just bookmarked ALACE's Childbirth Educator and Training Certification outline and price page. hehe, gonna see if SYSIP *military dependant funding thingie* will cover the tuition teehee)
 

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i know- i am planning on taking the birthing from within training in 2007.... i would like to teach the classes- then when the kids get bigger doula..... maybe... well you know!!!lol!!!
i hope the tuition is covered for yoiu!!!
i never even noticed his face till a mama on here pointed it out!!!!lol!
i am laughing looking at it! he was so sweet. poor guy,,, lol.
he does say it was better than the hospital birth tho- he felt cared for, supported and that i was treated nicely- joanne my mw is wonderful...
you should go read my birth story ....
ill bump it to the top if you want... alaina rennae born 11:28:05
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
that's an amazing story


The birth story of my DD isn't much to write home about. Nothing romantic or anything.

Contrax started April 4th 2003 at around 11pm. Started vomiting, called midwife, she told me to take some gravol and take it easy since it was gonna be a while. Followed advice, went to bed. Woke up when my water broke, Paged midwife, went into transition, my cat was acting as my doula, midwives showed up, my cat buzzed them in, about an hour and a half later, my DD was born.

12:12PM April 5th...

As I said, not very exciting. I slept through my labour. And Transition was intense, yet very do-able.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilie
i really LOVE The Birth Partner. dh liked it to- and he was SOOO Against reading anything! it explains what is going on with your body- and what he can do. it is pretty to the point.
i would definetly get that.
I loved it,too, because it is really fundamental and explains everything! But forget the take charge routine
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandora114
He looks flippin terrified! Kinda like a "Holy F--- what did I get myself into!!!!"

Like my DH is a war veteran, he's done boarding party duty, he's an all around "tough guy" But I know under that rock hard exterior is a soft gushy guy. I've known him since we were kids (long conveluted story) so I know how he thinks.

I'll see if the midwives office lending library has the Birth Partner and Birthing from Within for him to read.

(note I just bookmarked ALACE's Childbirth Educator and Training Certification outline and price page. hehe, gonna see if SYSIP *military dependant funding thingie* will cover the tuition teehee)
I personally don't find birthing from within, how should I say, a good match for scientifically minded doubtful husbands. Ok, I didn't like the book myself!
 

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I'm not sure I understand exactly what you're looking for. Does he need to be convinced of the problems with medicalizing birth? I'd suggest Henci Goer and Marsden Wagner MD to start.

For the process itself, Sheila Kitzinger is always good! The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth.

Right now I'm reading Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering. Written by a doctor, lots of scientific stuff in there, but also beautifully inspiring.

http://www.sarahjbuckley.com/html/ge...-mothering.htm
 
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