My Dh was telling me today that last night at a football game his friend was telling him that they have put their 6 month baby in their basement b/c the mom wants to stop nighttime feeding. So she doesn't want to hear the baby cry at night so they put him in their basement all by himself. All alone. I almost started to cry when I heard this. Why would a mom do that? How could a mom do that? And why is she stopping feeding him at night? He is not a big baby I think he still needs to eat at night. Of course she is the same mom telling me that they feberized their baby and maybe we should think about it. Does this make anyone else mad hearing this?
Ok this might make you so mad
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thats horrible. i started tearing up. basements are scary that child is going to have some nightmares later in life from that
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And people wonder why teens hold so much angst. UGH.
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Is there any chance that the basement in question is a finished basement, set up as a guest room maybe? Not that that explains the behavior, but it makes it a bit better.
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Perhaps your husband could bring them a copy of the Dr. Sears book, or the Dr. Gordon "Good Nights" book (that one was actually really popular with my DH...for some reason he loved reading all the celebrity endorsements and seeing who among the rich and famous co-sleep), or the NCSS?
Calling CPS is a drastic step and if the child isn't in actual physical danger then it's not a step to be taken (I know, I know, the thought of that babe cio in a basement is turning my stomach, but cio is not in and of itself child abuse by the laws of this country)...but I agree that if the husband is telling a lot of people they could get into a sticky situation.
Perhaps it was a sort of "cry for help"? Looking for BTDT advice from your husband? Could you invite them over for coffee and casually discuss your sleep solutions? It sounds like the mama is totally sleep deprived and hasn't found books that support a more loving/gentle sleep philosophy. Maybe if you can share some other alternatives she'll be happy to give those a try?
Perhaps your husband could bring them a copy of the Dr. Sears book, or the Dr. Gordon "Good Nights" book (that one was actually really popular with my DH...for some reason he loved reading all the celebrity endorsements and seeing who among the rich and famous co-sleep), or the NCSS?
Calling CPS is a drastic step and if the child isn't in actual physical danger then it's not a step to be taken (I know, I know, the thought of that babe cio in a basement is turning my stomach, but cio is not in and of itself child abuse by the laws of this country)...but I agree that if the husband is telling a lot of people they could get into a sticky situation.
Perhaps it was a sort of "cry for help"? Looking for BTDT advice from your husband? Could you invite them over for coffee and casually discuss your sleep solutions? It sounds like the mama is totally sleep deprived and hasn't found books that support a more loving/gentle sleep philosophy. Maybe if you can share some other alternatives she'll be happy to give those a try?
I was thinking more like wombatclay, my parents basement is a copy of the upsatirs, except underground - Kitchen, fireplace, bathroom, bedrooms, garage even, I lived down there when I was home from college (before I married). Still, it's cool and damp, and the house upstairs makes all sorts of unfamiliar noises, so even the best of basements is not a fun place to be all alone!!!
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oh my GOD how horrible!
she doesnt want to hear him cry so they put a 6 month old alone in the BASEMENT?
she doesnt want to hear him cry so they put a 6 month old alone in the BASEMENT?
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No this isn't a "cry for help" this is who they are. All they care about is their sleep not what is best for the baby. She isn't sleep deprived. Her baby actually sleeps good. She is very opinionated so she won't listen to the books I suggest anyways. They want to do the cio method. I have talked about Dr Sears and NCSS and she just blows it off.
Originally Posted by wombatclay Is there any chance that the basement in question is a finished basement, set up as a guest room maybe? Not that that explains the behavior, but it makes it a bit better.
Perhaps your husband could bring them a copy of the Dr. Sears book, or the Dr. Gordon "Good Nights" book (that one was actually really popular with my DH...for some reason he loved reading all the celebrity endorsements and seeing who among the rich and famous co-sleep), or the NCSS? Calling CPS is a drastic step and if the child isn't in actual physical danger then it's not a step to be taken (I know, I know, the thought of that babe cio in a basement is turning my stomach, but cio is not in and of itself child abuse by the laws of this country)...but I agree that if the husband is telling a lot of people they could get into a sticky situation. Perhaps it was a sort of "cry for help"? Looking for BTDT advice from your husband? Could you invite them over for coffee and casually discuss your sleep solutions? It sounds like the mama is totally sleep deprived and hasn't found books that support a more loving/gentle sleep philosophy. Maybe if you can share some other alternatives she'll be happy to give those a try? |
No this isn't a "cry for help" this is who they are. All they care about is their sleep not what is best for the baby. She isn't sleep deprived. Her baby actually sleeps good. She is very opinionated so she won't listen to the books I suggest anyways. They want to do the cio method. I have talked about Dr Sears and NCSS and she just blows it off.
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I am crying. People are so cruel. This is unbelievable. People who are not willing to devote 24 hours a day to their baby should not have babies!
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If people *are* going to do CIO they should at the very least have to listen to the crying.
The cynical, evil part of me thinks that if the baby dies from this that you should make sure your local paper gets the story.
The nicer me hopes that the baby is totally fine, but leaves home at 18 to have a wonderful life and his parents end up in dismal nursing homes alone.
The optimistic but futile me is praying for a change of heart on the parents part. Illness tends to change people, maybe the baby'll get pneumonia and be saved and they'll realize how important he is to them and they'll go on to advocate for the evils of leaving your baby alone? I mean it'd be better if they just changed their minds without that sort of impetus, but that's one way it might happen. Maybe they could just read a really heart-wrenching true story of another baby who's life was at risk?
The cynical, evil part of me thinks that if the baby dies from this that you should make sure your local paper gets the story.
The nicer me hopes that the baby is totally fine, but leaves home at 18 to have a wonderful life and his parents end up in dismal nursing homes alone.
The optimistic but futile me is praying for a change of heart on the parents part. Illness tends to change people, maybe the baby'll get pneumonia and be saved and they'll realize how important he is to them and they'll go on to advocate for the evils of leaving your baby alone? I mean it'd be better if they just changed their minds without that sort of impetus, but that's one way it might happen. Maybe they could just read a really heart-wrenching true story of another baby who's life was at risk?
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I'm sorry. I know it stinks to hear this kind of stuff b/c then you just imagine that poor babe crying away in the basement.
I have a good friend that I hadn't talked to in a long time. We were talking about sleeping habits and she told me that she *had* to let her little boy (right around 12 mos) CIO. Only she couldn't *stand* all of the crying so she went and stayed with friends for a few days until he was *trained*. Her DH told her that their DS cried nearly all night the first night, making himself vomit. The second and third nights were 2 hours and 45 minutes of crying respectively. And they have a 3rd child on the way
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And, FTR, her other children, including the DS that CIO, do not currently have stellar sleeping habits.
If you have to leave the house b/c you can't endure your babe CIO, you really need to question exactly what you are doing!
Sad, sad, sad.
I have a good friend that I hadn't talked to in a long time. We were talking about sleeping habits and she told me that she *had* to let her little boy (right around 12 mos) CIO. Only she couldn't *stand* all of the crying so she went and stayed with friends for a few days until he was *trained*. Her DH told her that their DS cried nearly all night the first night, making himself vomit. The second and third nights were 2 hours and 45 minutes of crying respectively. And they have a 3rd child on the way
If you have to leave the house b/c you can't endure your babe CIO, you really need to question exactly what you are doing!
Sad, sad, sad.
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It's like these people are so screwed up that instead of asking "what's wrong with people who can let their babies cry?" they're asking "what's wrong with me that I can't bear to hear my baby cry?"
I mean, I know I'm intensely empathic*, but there's got to be some sort of psychological issue with people who don't have their hearts torn out by their own babies cries. Maybe they need prolactin injections?
*As in, I can easily picture myself in a given situation, sometimes this helps me understand people better, sometimes I think they're looney bonkers because they react completely differently than I would. I'm working on that second part.
I mean, I know I'm intensely empathic*, but there's got to be some sort of psychological issue with people who don't have their hearts torn out by their own babies cries. Maybe they need prolactin injections?
*As in, I can easily picture myself in a given situation, sometimes this helps me understand people better, sometimes I think they're looney bonkers because they react completely differently than I would. I'm working on that second part.
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I can understand that she doesn't want to hear him cry, but putting him in the basement is horrible. What if he's screaming in pain and she can't even hear him?? What a nut!
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The more I think of this, the worse I feel for that baby. I have talked about it with my mom and my husband. We really think these people need to be reported to the child protection services. What if the baby strangled or the crib collapsed and crushed her.....or anything really. It is not right and I feel it is our duty to speak for the voiceless and protect the defenseless.
How dare these people do this.
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They should be sterilized and they make me want to
uke
How dare these people do this.
They should be sterilized and they make me want to
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