Mothering Forum banner
1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you don't know what I'm talking about, see this thread.

September 4, 2003

Elizabeth XXXXXX, M.D.
[address deleted]

Dear Dr. XXXXXX:

I'm writing this letter under unfortunate circumstances. At this juncture in my care, I regrettably need to inform you that I find it necessary to conclude our doctor/patient relationship for this pregnancy.

I say regrettably, because I do appreciate the time and care you and your staff have provided me up to this point. After assessing my immediate needs, both physically and emotionally, I feel the care of a practitioner with the philosophy that reflects the birth method and practice I prefer is warranted.

I don't mean to discredit your school of thought on basic birthing practices and prenatal care. However, I have come to the conclusion that the academic philosophy that you, as well as the hospital, practice would not be beneficial to the type of birth experience I desire.

I have decided to birth at home with the assistance of a midwife. This decision took much soul-searching but I feel it is for the best. If complications should arise making a hospital transfer necessary, I would appreciate having you as the attending back-up OB. If you would not feel comfortable with this, please let me know.

Again, thank you for all your attention to my needs. Please inform your staff what a pleasure it has been to associate with them while under your care. Your staff's professionalism reflects highly on your establishment as a whole.

I have enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope for your convenience. As a professional courtesy, could you please forward copies of my care records, as well as the results of my GBS test to the address above? I would greatly appreciate it.

If you have any questions, or need further information, please feel free to contact me at XXX-XXX-XXXX or [email protected].

Sincerely,

Christy XXXXXX

**************************************************
********************
Thanks for your help! Honest opinions- anything else I should add? Anything I should delete?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,188 Posts
All that's missing is a postmark on the front of the envelope. Put a stamp on that puppy! It's done!

Nice job. Very proffessional. Yay you!

Have you put it in the mail? You still have time. It's only 1:45 right now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks!

I haven't sent if off yet. I'm going to send it tomorrow because I wanted to get your input first.

mahdokht,
Homebirth with a DEM (which is what I'm using) is illegal here. But I didn't put their names in the letter, so I thought it would be okay. The main reason I said that I'm having a homebirth is because it would be easier to have her as a back up. If I don't say I'm having a HB, how can I ask her to be my back up? lol Anyway, do you still think I should take all that out?

Also, about the records. I actually requested them yesterday at my visit and they said okay. I put it in the letter too though so I could avoid going to pick them up lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
593 Posts
Like the previous poster, I'm not sure it is such a good idea to put your homebirth decision in writing...who knows who your letter could be passed on to!

I just dropped my prenatal care provider (a CNM) today, so I can tell you exactly what I did. I went in for my scheduled appointment, and told her at the beginning of the appt.

I said "I need to talk to you about an important decision my husband and I have made. We're planning to have the baby at home. I'm aware that you won't be able to provide backup for me. If you need to officially discharge me as your patient so that you won't run the risk of liability problems, that's fine with me."

It went fine. And then she went ahead and did the rest of the appt (bp, fundal height, urine check, weight, etc.). Strangely enough, my bp was lower than it has been in a couple weeks! I also asked for a copy of my negative GBS results, because I figure that's one thing I'd want to have with me if we needed to transfer to the hospital.

Good luck deciding how to deal with this! Honestly, I thought telling the CNM would go badly, but it was no big deal, and she didn't say a word against homebirth.

Carolyn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
226 Posts
Hmmm....*personally* I don't think you should mention the homebirth. Just say you found a new care provider. I understand that you'd like her to be a back-up but I don't see that happening. I read what she said at your last appt. and I think there is *no way* this doctor would be comfortable being a back up for a homebirth. You'll probably be better off with the on call doc if you transfer (but you won't need to transfer!
).

This is just my opinion, of course do what you think is best.


Take care.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,242 Posts
Call me stupid,

Call me careful,

But I think you should just forget it. If something happens and you do end up in the hospital, the OB and staff might just take it out on you.

JMO
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Just wanted to say that I mailed off my letter to the doctor this morning dropping her! I'm nervous about it but excited too. I can finally move forward with just my midwives and the homebirth! Woohoo!


Crap, I just read all your latest responses and I'm scared now! I left the part in about the homebirth. I didn't say it was with a midwife though. I just said that we've decided to give birth at home. I hope that she can't do anything about it.
:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
226 Posts
I think it'll be okay Christy.
if she calls and tries to harass you just keep it short and get off the phone..."thank you for calling, yes I understand your concerns, thank you for calling..." Don't spend any time trying to convince her that HBAC is safe, she is just never going to believe it.

Way off topic, but did you ever decide on whether to circ or not? Just curious...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,557 Posts
Yes, it is important to remember that you really don't owe them an explanation. As long as homebirth is legal they don't have to know that it is with a DEM. Perhaps in the unlikely event of a transport you could just go somewhere else.

I don't know how tenacious your doctors are but be prepared for them to have some less than kind things to say to you. Don't let them scare you, I swear, scare tactics are actually taught in some med schools.

Amy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,188 Posts
If they do call -- and they probably won't-- remember this phrase:

"Oh, I have to go. I'll call you back." and hang up. Don't expose yourself to that anymore. And, I agree with the other thread about Birthin From Within's fear release sounds like a really good thing for you to do. Also, your own suggestion of talking to your midwives sounds like a great idea.

Best wishes! You can now concentrate on the birth you want to have.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Well, either way, it's too late now. I doubt they'll even call anyway. They're probably too busy. I'm not going to worry about it- I can't. It's too stressful and we all know that stress will do me no good. If by some chance, they do call, I'm almost 100% sure it won't be the dr. She's WAY too busy to call herself. I get along great with everyone else, including the nurse so it wouldn't be difficult to talk to one of them. I will keep it brief and to the point.

Misty,
We haven't come to an in-stone decision but we're leaning towards not circumsizing. We're going to speak to the pediatrician beforehand and see what he has to say about it. Which reminds me that I need to call them to set up an appointment.

Sheena,
I've already gotten the scare tactics from my OB, which is a big reason why I decided to drop her. I'm prepared with my own information if they try anything.

And in the case of a transport, I'm not worried about them knowing about the DEMs. I will not offer up their names, but the MWs have already said they will come with me to the hospital so they must not be too worried about it either.


I hope that I can get my records and stuff from the doctor's office soon without a hassle. My next appointment is for Wednesday and my ultrasound appointment is for Tuesday. I hope they get my letter in time to cancel those for me. If not, I hope I don't get charged or anything.

At least after I get my stuff from them I can put it behind me and focus on what lies ahead. Thanks for the kind words.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top