Okay, so I'm clueless...

I have one son, who was born at home with midwives. I had a great experience throughout my pregnancy and birth, and was very bonded and pleased with my midwives, as people and as caregivers. Birthing at home just made sense to me and I am lucky that I live in a fairly supportive state (Washington).

I remember hearing about unassisted births in the first year or so after my son was born and even read some Web sites (see http://unassistedchildbirth.com/uc/), but like you, I just remember thinking, "Huh." I *loved* my midwives. But I read enough of that site to realize that (of course) not all midwives are the same, and there are some women who had birthing experiences with midwives that felt invasive, over-managed, fear-based, et al. Or, there are women who know they don't want a hospital birth and don't have access to legal midwifery care, and choose to birth at home unassisted. Others think that birthing is as private (and primal) of an act as having sex, and does not require outside assistance. Etc. I recommend you read the site to learn more from women who've made the choice themselves. And I am sure you will hear from some moms on this list who have personal experience with it.

Just a few months ago, I found myself on that same Web site. This time, I was riveted, and spent hours reading most of the stories. For whatever reason, the whole idea really resonated with me in a way it hadn't before. One difference in my own thoughts between the first and second reading of the Web site is that I had remembered things about my midwifery care that I hadn't remembered at all before. I also saw some things in a new light. I am not sure why I gained a new perspective, maybe just enough time had passed, or I have simply changed (I feel I have changed A LOT in the years since my son was born). In many ways, I don't think I could have done my first birth unassisted... I relished being in someone else's care. But there is a part of me, for sure, that can see (and relish) being the sole person responsible for the birth. I think by taking responsibility there is also a greater/larger sense of experiencing the birth. I know that during my labor with my son, I was really "checked out" for most of it. Which at the time was a good thing -- in fact, it was my goal: to get my mind out of my body's way so it could birth the baby. But for this next labor, I want to be mentally present in addition to letting my body do the work. I can see how someone else there managing your care (no matter how gently) could get in the way.

I haven't chosen an unassisted birth for this baby -- my DH is not comfortable at all with the idea. We are currently working with a midwife, but I do feel like my DH and I will continue talking through things as time goes on.

Hope this helps --

If I chose not to have prenatal (as I did with DD until I was 23 weeks) it was because I felt it was unnecessary. The only reason I had them at all was because I kinda couldn't have the midwife I wanted without them (for a hospital birth). I felt DEEPLY (in a mental and spiritual way) that the child I was carrying was completely well and healthy. This time I have prenatals because I want to make sure I know my midwife well, since she will be helping me in my home. I realized while birthing DD that I have major safety/environment issues in high stress situations... so it behooves me to be VERY comfy with the person(s) who will be attending me. After my upcomign birth (with the midwife at my home), I plan to have one unassisted birth (at least) simply because I think once I feel experienced enough, another person present (other than my Mom, DH, and someone to care for my children) would be redundant.

I did not want u/s when preggie with DD, but had 2 for reasons I that I thought were unavoidable at the time (I'm more informed now). This time and all future pregnancies we will not have any u/s because of the possible/potential problems they pose. There are lots of discussions on this subject in other forums if you're truly interested - lots of really great sites to read and other mama's opinions to learn from.

Anyway... just wanted to respond cause when I opened your thread no one else had. I think, generally, many mamas who opt for these things truly believe that outside help is unnecessary, superfluous, and can even cause more harm than good.

Regarding the last, I DEFINITELY feel that the u/s(es - two) that I had when preggie with DD did more harm than good because the "findings" caused me SOOOoooo much stress and emotional trauma - for NAUGHT! My DD is and was (immediately after birth) perfect, but the u/s revealed "possible" problems of a very serious nature. I felt, immediately after the care provider I was seeing told us of the "problems", that the "findings" were totally bogus -AND felt a confirmation of the spirit that I was right. Well, we went, basically to have another opinion and to change providers. The next person (second opinion) could not understand what the 'problem' was that was supposedly "revealed" because all the info looked to be a normal baby in there! I've read plenty of similar stories and have come to feel that u/s are just not helpful enough for me to feel them necessary and definitely NOT mandatory! I do know there are examples that show how useful, helpful, and overall positive they are... but I just believe AND feel (from experience) that if there's a problem, I would kinda rather know about it when the baby arrives rather than before because if I know before I have whatever time is left to worry and stress over it. And since I would never consider an optional abortion, there's really no point in knowing!

Of course, all that is just my opinion.

I would not abort a baby for birth defects, and see no point to prenatal testing. Prenatal care is not rocket science, and for mainstream caregivers seems to be mostly about control and fear.
My prenatal care with my midwife the first time was essentially nutritional counselling, and a really good friend to get me through some emotional times. Everything else was "meh" and I refused all the testing anyway.

I would not be bullied into induction because I don't fit their rules, I won't be bullied into epidurals because I am too loud or my fear-filled labour gives me more pain... so I don't see a point to hospital delivery or an OB. An OB won't let you go 43 weeks if your body needs to, many midwives can't either. An OB won't let you have a 44 hour labour without some sort of intervention. A stalled labour at 7cm wouldn't result in you being allowed to sleep a night and go for a walk and enjoy your resting time.

I do not need anyone to "Deliver" my baby, because my body was made to birth. Hospitals are dangerous, dangerous places and I couldn't give birth anywhere else but home barring something terribly (truly) life threatening.

UC/UP is very much the best for our family, I can't see it any other way.

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The OB I'm seeing (with the hopes of not needing him this time around ) actually did let a friend of mine go 40 hours without intervention. He even sent her home to labor at a point when most OBs would keep you there (and probably be starting pit!). He realized that she was taking a very long time, and she wanted to birth naturally and not have interventions, so he respected her wishes. She also had a good doula with her to help her out.

But I too would rather birth at home. Unfortunately, I can't unless I go unassisted, and I'm not comfortable with unassisted for ME. I do enjoy reading the UC birth stories though! Those are really empowering! But my own personality... I prefer to have a midwife there. I love my midwife, and hopefully I'll be able to birth with her this time (out-of-hospital, but not at my home). Last time, my water broke at 29 weeks, so hospital and OB it was, for the health of my baby. He needed a NICU.

I have a pretty strong instinct when it comes to pregnancy and my children and I am sick and tired of medical professionals trying to tell me that I am wrong and no matter what, I need to follow the typical rules. I haven't been typical since the moment I was conceived, I don't like being treated that way.

I had two mainstream pregnancies and hospital births that weren't particularly horrible, but I never felt like I was in control of either. It is my body, my baby and I want to call the shots.

I had some prenatal care with my son and then had a planned unassisted birth at home. This time around we are going to have a unassisted pregnancy (I'm monitoring my blood pressure) and an unassisted birth. I am opposed to having many of the tests that they *REQUIRE* a pregnant woman to have and this last time around the NP put up a big stink and refused to see me until I followed the mainstream protocol. I refused to do so and finished out my pregnancy unassisted.

I can't tell you how amazing and wonderful it was to get into my jammies and into my bed with my hubby and kiddos and just gaze at our new baby. Drinking some water out of my own glass with no one to wake me ever 3 hours to ask how many times the baby nursed, urinated and pooped was pretty spectacular in its own right.

For me, unassisted pregnancy and birth is about being in control to make the best decisions for the Momma and baby and not having to do what "they" say because "they say so.

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Pretty much just : for everything she said.

We are planning a homebirth this time. I say planning because IF DC #2 comes any quicker then DS #1 it will end up being unassisted I feel comfy with our midwife even if most apts seem to just chat about family, diet etc. My hospital birth with Ds#1 was pretty much unassisted for a Hospital birth ( compared to what mainstreamers have )
DS#1 Mw arrives at hospitall and there I am pushing

Michele